If there is one thing that a parent of a teenager knows, it is that the mere existence of them seems to embarrass them. It doesn’t seem to matter what they do, or don’t do, they always end up embarrassing their teenager. Mom and dad may go to bed at night wondering if they mortified their child today, and what they did to do that. These actions that teens find “embarrassing” were normally just moments when mom tried to let them know that they were loved, but it backfired. If we want to understand why our teenagers are always embarrassed by their parents, we need to understand what parents do that embarrasses their teens.

According to Psychology Today, embarrassment for a teenager is a big deal. It is not just some emotion that needs to be brushed off and excused. Teenagers are at an age where they are developing their place in the world and their adequacy, and this development can be challenged when they feel embarrassed by a parent.

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There are some instances where parents intentionally embarrass their teen. They linger too long at school drop-off, or they yell “I love you” when they are hanging out with their friends. These are moments when mom and dad know that they are embarrassing their teen. Then there are moments where it is an honest mistake, like a dad using their child’s nickname in public without even thinking about it. Then there seem to be moments when mom and dad have done absolutely nothing, and their teen is just annoyed. The bigger question is why are they so embarrassed?

4 Running Interference Is Only Good In Football

According to Fractions 4 Kids, one of the biggest reasons that teenagers are embarrassed by their parents is because it seems like they are always trying to interfere with their lives. Teenagers are at the age where they are trying to gain a sense of independence and separate themselves from their parents. They are trying to create a unique person away from their parents, and it will always seem like parents are “interfering” with their choices.

Teenagers want their friends to see them as independent, and when mom or dad tells their teen they can’t attend that party or go hang out at the mall with their friends, it goes directly against what they are trying to do. This is a mortifying situation for a teen.

3 Privacy Is A Teen’s Number One Concern

A teenager wants privacy and that plays in with their need for independence. They don’t want their parents knowing everything that is going on with them and they try and keep their life a secret. The result is usually a parent who pushes back, because they feel their child is “hiding something.” This feeling of lack of trust can cause a teen to feel embarrassed by their parent. With social media being so prevalent in a teen’s life, it can be embarrassing for a parent to comment on their pages, because their friends can also see it.

2 Simple Biology

The biology of a teen is different than in adults, and that can explain a lot about why teens are often embarrassed by their parents. Research has shown that teenagers respond to embarrassing situations with a completely different part of their brain than adults do. This was determined after studying teens and their brains when reacting to potentially embarrassing situations. This effect alters as they grow older, so they are hardwired to be more embarrassed than adults and young children.

1 They Are More Critical Of Themselves

According to You Are Mom, teenagers are in a point of their lives where they are very critical of themselves. Since they are trying to find a place in the world, they are evaluating everything around them and themselves. This also means that teenagers are becoming slightly more self-centered and they are overly concerned about their surroundings and what is going on around them. These “acts of love” that mom and dad do, can be embarrassing to a teenager who is trying to be seen as an adult and no longer a child.

Embarrassing your teenager is a stage of life, and it is quite normal and to be expected. When your teen pulls away from a hug or wipes a kiss away, this is normal behavior and not a reflection on their love they have for mom and dad. It is also quite normal for a teenager to like their friend’s parents more than they do their own during this stage of their life. The good thing with stages, is that they all pass and this will pass too.

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Sources: You Are Mom, Psychology Today, Fractions 4 Kids