The holiday season is the busiest time of the year for airports. Every year there are thousands of families across the country who hop on a plane, bus, or train and go spend time with their loved ones. They open gifts, sing songs, and have a great meal together. This year has been the year that has changed everything. The COVID-19 pandemic has made everyone re-evaluate their plans and even cancel them, so they avoid catching the virus and continuing the spread.
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has released their guidelines when it comes to traveling for the holiday season and their advice is simple: don’t do it. It has been made very clear that traveling will increase your chances of getting COVID-19, and families should stay home and celebrate the holidays virtually.
However, there are families out there who are not going to follow these guidelines. Families who are going to travel and see each other and enjoy a holiday season. It is easy to point the finger at a family who is traveling and “shame” them for choosing to go and see family for the holidays, but there are reasons why we may need to back down from this fight and let families be.
“Compassion Over Conflict”
According to Psychology Today, there may be some merit in “compassion over conflict.” It may seem easier to “call out” a friend or relative whom you know is going to be traveling with their family, but it is likely that shaming them is not going to change their plans.
Since shaming will likely not work, it may be wiser to “agree to disagree.” If this is something that is going to cost you a mom-friend or relationship, it may be best to let it lie. No one wants to come out of the pandemic with one less friend or support system by their side.
No Winners
Shaming never ends up with a winning side, and judging families for their choices will never end well, because the judgement is likely going both ways. This ideology of “my way is the right way” can be damaging, and it is likely that a family has thought about this and may be weighing the risk of COVID-19 versus the decline in mental health from being isolated so long.
Practice What You Preach
When you become a parent, there are certain lessons you want to teach your children and a big one is not to bully others for their decisions. The problem is that by travel-shaming a family, you are showing your child that you will partake in bullying behavior, according to Fodors.
Bullying is never OK, but travel-shaming is normally done without knowing the circumstances about why someone is traveling. Moms need to model the behavior that they want to see in their children one day, and shaming a family for a personal choice is sending the wrong message to your child.
You Just Don’t Know, Give Them The Benefit Of The Doubt
The problem with a lot of judgements and shaming is that they are typically done with little to no information behind them. Before we shame a family for traveling, we need to take into account numerous reasons. We don’t know why they are traveling; it could be for a funeral or a job opportunity in another state that would better the family's life. The family may have deemed that the risk may be worth it if it is going to better their future.
We also don’t know the health details of those who are traveling. Have they been quarantining for 14 days before traveling? They could have possibly gotten a test done before leaving to ensure they were negative. When they land, is their plan to quarantine again and not go out in public. These are all factors that we need to take into account before we shame a family for their choice.
The Simplest Answer
It may sound harsh, but sometimes the simplest reason is the right one and that is: it's none of your business. While we need to be thinking about others at this time, what another family does is really only their concern. If you are taking proper precautions to protect you and your family, then we sometimes need to keep our opinions to ourselves.
While it may not be advised or something that your family would do right now, remember, it is not against the law to travel. The guidelines put in place are just that, guidelines, and they are ways to keep yourself as safe as possible. The year has been hard enough without having to deal with shaming and bullying. We live in the land of the free, trusting that we all make proper decisions. It's like in school. Is it fair to punish the good kids who have listened and behaved because the "bad kids" were misbehaving? We're all adults trying to do what's best for us and our families. Yes, we should be cautious and remind others of the "rules," but to judge because we may have a problem trusting isn't right.
Sources: CDC, Psychology Today, Fodors