It is a feeling of frustration that a lot of moms can relate to and understand, and that is when children don’t listen. It is a scene that plays out in almost every household across the country, and it can be very frustrating for mom. Some days will always seem worse than others, and mom can have children who listen one day, and the next, it is like she is invisible. It is understandable why mom would get frustrated and upset with her children who never seem to listen to the simplest things, but perhaps a perspective change can help make this a bit easier.
When it comes to children who don’t listen, a lot of people will brush them off as being ‘defiant,’ or just ‘naughty’ children, but it may be time to give children a bit more credit than that. Child development is vast, and there can be numerous reasons why a child doesn’t appear to listen to mom and dad. Perhaps, if we look at some simple reasons and explanations for this phenomenon, it may help mom take a step back and realize that she is doing nothing wrong, and neither are her children.
Biological
You would never blame someone for having blue eyes and brown hair, and it may be the same for not listening. According to HuffPost, there is a biological reason why children don’t appear to listen and that is because humans are “hardwired” to be oppositional and not listen. As adults, we can feel it rise up when someone tries to tell us what to do. We don’t want to listen, and we want to challenge and combat the person who is demanding things of us. It is the same for children, but the difference is that adults have a better grasp on this and how to handle it appropriately. Children just don’t listen, they don’t know how to talk around it yet, and that comes with age and development.
Problems With Focus
According to Understood, if a child has a problem with focusing, they may not be ignoring you on purpose. The ability to concentrate and focus comes with age and development. If a child is busy playing a game, or doing an activity, and they don’t listen to what you are saying, they are likely not doing it on purpose. This will be even more true the younger the child is. They don’t have the ability to focus on two things at once yet, and unfortunately, what they are doing may deem more important to them than what mom is trying to say.
They Don’t Hear You
According to Motherly, sometimes, we need to give our children the benefit of the doubt in the fact that they may have not heard us. We think we are speaking loud enough, but if we are busy doing something too, we may not be as loud as possible. If they are also focused on another task, they literally may not have heard what we are saying. The best way to solve most “not listening” problems is to get down to their level and make sure you have their attention before speaking. It is much easier when we remove distractions, it may just take a bit more time.
Sources: HuffPost, Understood, Motherly