Out of all the things our children want to know, the most terrifying question a mom or dad can get from their kid is, “where do babies come from?” It is the question a lot of parent’s dread, and then it actually happens. How is mom supposed to handle this moment? A lot of parents will go to the quick reaction of telling them that a stork brings the baby, it is simple, and it sounds like a fairy tale. The problem is that it is just that, a fairy tale, and more and more parents are pushing to tell their children the truth about everything in life when they ask.
A lot of parent’s see no problem with telling little white lies to their children, but according to Parenting Science, this can be damaging. Even little white lies can cause a problem with children trusting their parents. They may start to doubt anything their parents tell them and it may even cause them to lie as well. Being honest is not impossible when it comes to this subject, and there are ways to be open without traumatizing your child.
Know Their Age
The first thing a parent has to take into consideration when it comes to this topic is how old their child is that is asking. That is because a 3-year-old is likely going to want to know how the baby got out of mommy’s tummy, while an older child may want to know how the baby is actually made. The tips listed will be more appropriate for a child who is about 6 to 8 years old. According to Very Well Family, understanding your child’s age and what they already know can help you provide the most appropriate answer.
It is helpful to use language your child already knows. If you have to introduce a new word, or concept, explain it in the simplest terms. You’re answers should be short and direct, there is no need to pull out the whiteboard and provide a sex-ED lesson with charts and drawings.
Remember That They Are A Child
The reason this is such a tough topic for parents to address is because they are embarrassed. They are embarrassed to talk about this with their children, because they have to use language that they try and avoid using around their child.
It is important to remember that children do not see the world the way we do. They do not get red in the cheeks or embarrassed by the name of body parts. They lack the sense of “shame” that adults have when discussing these issues.
Honest Is The Best Policy
Honesty really is the best way to go when it comes to tackling this question. This conversation would be no different than a biology class. Think of it as an anatomy lesson, and it becomes much easier. Go through the body parts and why they are there. This will help ease some of the confusion around babies being in “bellies” and can help teach children about the human body.
Furthermore, if you try and avoid the topic, your child may think that there is something wrong and may think that they were wrong for asking. It will turn the most natural thing in the world into a shameful experience.
Let Your Child Take The Lead
When your child comes to you with this question, you may want to try and determine what they already know about the subject. Ask them where they think babies come from and see what their baseline of understanding is.
When you let the child take the lead, you can build off what they already know, and it can help the conversation flow a bit easier. Let them ask questions as you talk, if they hear something they don’t understand or want some more clarification on the topic.
Don’t Be Afraid To Use Tools
Everything is much easier said than done, and some parents may still find it hard to have this conversation with their child. They still don’t know what to say or how to say it, and they are terrified that it is all going to come out the wrong way. Don’t be afraid to use tools to help you. There are countless books out there that aim to help the discussion.
According to Best Products, some of the best books about where babies come from are The Birds, The Bees, And The Berenstain Bears and It’s Not The Stork. The Birds And The Bees Discovery is a DVD that is best suitable for those in the fifth grade, and it explores natural reproduction in the wild, to help them understand how natural it is.
Source: VeryWellFamily, BestProducts, ParentingScience