Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer is how the saying goes. Well, perhaps it should go something like keep your kids close and never eat something they give you. Ever. Or, something along those lines. As parents, we can all attest to the memorable moments we experience with our precious children. However, some of those moments we wish we could forget. Or, we wish they had never happened. But, sometimes, there’s nothing left to do but laugh at the mess that is motherhood, and roll with the ice cream cones as they melt.
The now viral Facebook post, which has exploded since it was posted earlier in the week, was written by Sidney, the blogger behind the Facebook page, Someone Hold my Beer.
The post looks innocent enough. The photo of a hand holding a vanilla ice cream evokes thoughts of summer, childhood fun, and innocence. However, things aren't always as they seem. Even ice cream cones. There is a dark side to parenting, and this post further proves that we should never trust our little ones. No matter how cute they are.
The post begins with Sidney writing:
“Y’ALL!!!! I am DONE with these kids!! I learned a hard lesson today...one I wasn’t prepared for and I feel like I’ve been through a trauma! I need prayer!🤦🏼♀️😵💩”
The ice cream cone in question belongs to Sidney’s daughter, Blakely, who innocently asks her mom to hold it for her. After Blakely asks her mom (who happens to have just taken a lick, because of course she did, it was dripping and that’s what moms do) if the ice cream is okay, it becomes clear that something has happened to the soft serve. After a brief stand off, with mom wondering worse case scenario, the post goes on to say:
“I accidentally wiped my butt with it”🤢🤢😳😵🤭🤭Excuse me?!! With this ice cream cone I just licked?! Wtf!! I am coming unglued...so I ask this child “How do you accidentally wipe your butt with an ice cream and WHY did you give it to me to eat????” 😳😑🤐
Let’s just take a minute. We honestly didn’t see this one coming. We were thinking that maybe the dog licked it, or perhaps her daughter sneezed on the delicious treat. But, an ice cream butt wipe? Nope. Didn’t see that coming.
However, Blakey quickly reassured her mom that there is nothing to worry about.
"She looks me dead in my face and says “I used the wrong hand to wipe but it was just pee mommy”🤮✌🏼✌🏽🤯DONE! Someone come get these kids. I cannot even handle it. If y’all need me I’ll be washing my mouth out with Clorox. 🤦🏼♀️🤦🏼♀️😒."
Take another minute to compose yourself. Between the hilarious story and well placed emojis, this woman should be given a medal for enduring such trauma!
Obviously the post resonated with others because people have been eagerly commiserating with one another over their own traumas experienced at the hands (or, in this case butts) of their children. With 188K comments and 286K shares, Sidney is clearly not alone. We feel your pain, mama!
So, there you have it folks. We learn from our mistakes. And, sometimes, we learn from the mistakes of others. Children can’t be trusted; but they certainly make us laugh.
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