From the moment a woman becomes a mother, she is overwhelmed with information of child development. She gets a plethora of information, and it can be a bit overwhelming. She reads about when her baby should be hitting milestones, like laughing, sitting up on their own, crawling and walking. Then she joins mommy groups with fellow moms who have babies around the same age, and then the concern starts.

If mom’s baby is ahead of their peers and already crawling, mom may think she has a genius on her hands. However, if her baby is the last to reach a developmental milestone, she may worry that something is not right. According to New Vision, child development is not a rule and there is no definite date for when a child should be able to do something. Child development should be seen as more of a guide than a set of rules.

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Moms who have twins may fall into a worse trap, and that is the thought that her children will develop at the same time. This seems like it would make sense, they are the same age and they are constantly around each other and they learn from each other. However, being twins does not necessarily mean that they will develop at the same time. In fact, it rarely means that.

This is even true for identical twins. Identical twins share every fraction of DNA, but that does not mean that they will both decide to walk at the same time, or immediately start talking to each other. According to Team Cartwright, it is important to remember that twins are individuals. They are their own person, even if they have a double sitting right next to them.

An important thing to remember when it comes to hitting milestones, is that it is not just physical readiness. A child may be able to hold their head up and seem like they are ready to sit on their own, but their personality plays a part too. Identical twins may have the same face, but they are completely different when it comes to personality and temperament.

One twin may be more adventurous and wants to reach the top shelf or get a toy across the room quicker. Their brother/sister may be content to just sit there and stare at the ceiling. These differences are going to play a part in when they hit milestones.

It may be hard on a parent when one of their twins hits a milestone and mom is waiting for the next one to follow. According to Today’s Parent, one mom of twins realized one day that the did not just have two babies, they had two very different individuals. Understanding that is the basic framework for understanding twin’s development.

Even though moms are told not to compare their baby to others, and they know that is great advice, they will often still compare. A mom of twins will compare their babies with each other. Sometimes, mom needs to step back and think about her children as two single babies. If her one twin was not a twin and started walking at 15 months instead of 12, she likely wouldn’t be concerned. The concern is only because the other twin is already doing it.

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Sources: Team Cartwright, New Vision, Todays Parent