The perk of being a woman in 2019 is we're in charge of our body, our family, and our general direction in life. We no longer feel the need to stay at home and be June Cleaver. There's no need to stay at home waiting around for our man to come home, only to serve him his dinner, put our kids to bed, and get no appreciation for our work at all.
It's 2019 and women are stronger than ever. It's never easy having it all but that doesn't mean it's impossible. There are more working moms these days than ever and whether or not they want to/have to work is their own.
That being said, whether a woman decides to work or doesn't is her choice and only her choice. She does not need validation or input from other moms. But just because we're in the future where women can be and do anything they please does not stop others from saying some pretty ignorant things...
10 'Oh, I Could Never Leave My Kids'
"Oh, you work? I could never leave my kids. I'd miss them too much and I don't know how they'd act without me being around them constantly."
While it may seem nonchalant to talk about what someone would do with their child, it's not okay to unintentionally make someone feel like a bad mom by working. Granted, most moms don't mean to put another mother down, but by comparing families and acting like it's "easy" for a working mom to leave her kids is ill-mannered.
9 'You Must Treasure Your Time With Them Since You're Away A Lot'
This saying may sound sweet, but the problem with saying this is it makes a working mom second guess herself. Telling a mother she must "treasure" her time with her child puts an unnecessary force on her psyche that wasn't there before. Most mothers love spending time with their children; she shouldn't feel inadequate just because she's not treasuring every temper tantrum or every diaper blowout. Motherhood will always have its ups and downs.
8 'I'd Feel Guilty Putting My Career First'
The implication of saying a working mother puts her career "first" is so unfair. Children will always be a mother's first priority, but there are times where women need to work in order to feed their children and keep them safe.
As you can see, feeding, housing, and raising children can only be done when there's an income. This is why moms go back to work in the first place, to make sure their babies have the best lives possible. No working mom is putting their work first before their children — it simply goes hand-in-hand. They're working because they care about their kids.
7 'I'm Jealous You Get A Break From Baby Talk'
Working moms will always have some kind of guilt. They may have to leave for work before their kids get up for school or they may not be able to pick them up from the bus stop. Working mothers are always thinking of everything they're missing out on and how to make it up to their kids. So even though they get to have adult conversation six+ hours a day doesn't take away the fact that they're missing their kids.
Doing thorough work and expanding one's mind is brilliant, but it's not like many mothers would choose it over her own kids.
6 'Well, Not Everyone Can Afford To Stay Home'
Telling a working mother that not everyone can stay home with their kids implies that they're somehow inferior.
"Afford to stay home" just sounds incredibly offputting, especially since it makes them sound like they're scraping for pennies which isn't exactly always true. It also makes the person saying it sound distasteful.
5 'You Look Super Tired'
Um, yes. A working mother is—more often than not—tired. She's working, she's a mother, she's a partner, she's a daughter, and she has her own life to lead. There are not enough hours in a day and yet moms are expected to do it all.
If a mom looks tired, the last thing you should say is that fact. No one really enjoys being told they look like crap. Instead of stating the obvious, maybe ask if she needs help or suggests a playdate.
4 'Are Your Kids Closer To Your Nanny/Daycare Worker?'
If you've seen the award-winning movie The Help, then you're aware of the fact that kids can become closer with the men and women working with them than their own parents. If their parents are working all day, every day, they're bound to create a strong relationship with their caretakers. It's natural and it's something that can really scare a parent.
No mom or dad wants an outsider saying their child called their caretaker "mom" or "dad." It's also hurtful if someone stated the obvious because it's not their business. Asking if someone's child is closer with their caretake than them (their mother) is asking for trouble.
3 'Don't Pick A Babysitter Or Nanny Hotter Than You!'
We've seen the story play out in the media year after year. Beautiful celebrities have a loving union, get married, have a bundle of kiddos, and then their man falls for the cute, young nanny... It's the classic scenario that never stops. And since it is so unfortunately common, women can't help but wonder what other women's nannies or baby sitters look like. And if they are, in fact, "cuter" than mama, they make sly comments like this, which is totally unacceptable. They're essentially saying they don't trust your man, and those are fighting words, my friend.
2 'It Would Be Nice If You Could Help Out More With The PTA'
The PTA stands for the Parent Teach Association. It's an association where parents and teachers can come together for the greater good of the community. Most classrooms have one or two PTA parents, where they're in charge of fundraising, events, birthdays, goods for the classroom, etc... However, PTA parents typically volunteer their time so they can be closer to their child and what they're learning.
If a mom doesn't want to be a PTA parent, she doesn't need to. Don't judge a mom for not wanting to be apart of the classroom — that doesn't mean she doesn't care.
1 'You Should Spend More Time With Them To Avoid XYZ'
No matter the age, kids are always going through something. One day they're having trouble making friends, the next day they're not doing a great job listening. Whatever is going on with a child doesn't mean that it's because of their parents. Then again, sometimes it is. Sometimes kids are looking for attention and decide to act out in hopes of their parents actually caring. However, if you're not a working mom's child's teacher — keep your opinions to yourself. A child's poor behavior isn't always because mom works. And even if it was, it would be better for her to hear it from a professional — not a judgemental classroom mom.