We can probably all remember the moment when we wanted to start wearing makeup. Maybe we were little kids and we would observe our mom putting on foundation and blush in the morning, or we would sneak around and put on some of her lipstick when we thought that she wasn't looking. Or perhaps we bought some lip gloss with our allowance or money that we had saved up... and wondered when we could get away with wearing it.
When your child starts becoming interested in wearing makeup themselves, there are some things to think about. Here are 10 things to consider.
10 What Sparked Their Interest?
When your kid wants to wear makeup, you can ask them what sparked their interest. If their best friend has a whole drawer full of eyeshadows and lipsticks, then of course it makes sense that your kid is starting to wonder about this. If they keep seeing makeup commercials or have an older sibling who wears it, that seems logical, too.
You might think that makeup is only for teenagers and grown-ups, and that you only feel comfortable with your kid wearing a lot once they're in their late teens. It's okay to talk to your child about how it's perfectly cool that they want to wear makeup, but they're young so you'd rather they not wear a lot just yet.
9 Special Occasions Vs. Every Day
Chances are, your kid will want to start wearing makeup all the time, no matter where they're going. They might want to wear it to the grocery store or while running other errands with you, going out for a family dinner, or to school.
You'll want to consider when they can wear makeup, and you might decide that it's okay to wear a little for special times like holidays or birthdays, but that it shouldn't be a daily thing.
8 Start Off With Some Basic Products
The world of makeup is a super exciting one. Your child will be interested in trying out all kinds of products, from glittery pink eyeshadow to green lipstick. But, of course, there is a time and place for every kind of beauty product, and wearing too many at once (or even having too many in your bathroom cabinet) will be overkill.
When your kid wonders if they can start wearing makeup and you've agreed, you can start off with some basic products. Buy some blush, a light concealer, some colored lip gloss, and maybe some fun eyeshadow. This should be a good start and will be something that you're both okay with.
7 Have A Self-Esteem And Confidence Chat
Makeup is great, but wearing it because you want to and feel good about it is different than feeling like you only look good if you have it on. You can talk to your kid about feeling confident and secure in themselves, whether they have any makeup on or not.
This is definitely an important part of the discussion, and it's something that we all need a reminder of.
6 Find Kid-Friendly Products
Maybe we grew up with LipSmackers and other lip glosses or lip balms aimed at our age group, so we know how much fun these can be. When your kid wants to start wearing makeup, you can talk to them about finding some kid-friendly products.
This is a great compromise since these lip balms totally feel like makeup... but they have great scents (usually fruit or other food). They're not the same as dark, strong lipstick, which you're probably not comfortable with.
5 Consider Peer Pressure
There can be a lot of peer pressure at school, especially when girls become pre-teens and get involved with social groups. It's possible that even if you talk to your kid about not putting on makeup at school, they might feel pressured about doing that.
It's a fine line between teaching your child to stand up for themselves and not giving into peer pressure... but of course you totally get that they don't want to seem uncool for not wearing makeup. In that case, find a compromise (like a light colored lip gloss) that won't stand out too much but will make them happy.
4 Consider Both Of Your Feelings
Makeup might seem insignificant and even kind of silly sometimes, but since it brings up insecurity and self-esteem issues along with topics like beauty standards and feminism, it can be pretty serious and important.
When your kid is talking to you about wearing some makeup, you want to consider both of your feelings. Sure, you might feel emotional about the fact that they're old enough to ask you this question, and you might feel sad that they're growing up so fast. But you also know that they really want this and they want to be given the space and time to grow up.
3 Consider When You Started Wearing Makeup
At first, you might think that your kid shouldn't be wearing makeup yet, and it might feel like they're way too young for that.
But if you consider the age that you started wearing some beauty products, you might realize that it was the exact same age. You can also talk to your mom, sister, cousin, or other relatives about their own experiences. This will help put things in perspective.
2 Ask What Other Moms Are Doing
If you're close with the moms of your kid's friends, you might also want to consider what they've decided is okay here. Maybe they have come up with some makeup rules that will sound a bit too strict to you, or perhaps you'll be on the same page and agree with a lot of what they're saying.
Either way, running this topic by some fellow moms could help you sort out your thoughts and feelings.
1 Say You Can Revisit The Issue At A Certain Time
When your kid wants to start wearing makeup and you've had the discussion that it's okay to wear some lip gloss and some blush but only in certain situations, they might be upset. They might say that it's unfair and that you should let them because it's what they want and everyone is doing it.
You can tell them that you'll revisit the issue at a certain time. For example, if they're 10 or 11, then it makes sense to say that they can start wearing more makeup at 14 or 15. While they won't love your answer, they will respect the boundaries and like knowing that the subject isn't completely closed.