Can you believe we're already a full month into summer?! We swear, we blinked and it was already half over. We don't know about you, but we've sort of dropped the ball on making magical summer memories so far. We keep putting stuff off, thinking we'll start having fun a little later, just wanting to enjoy a bit of downtime. And now here we are, staring July in the face, and the most we have to show for it is a trip to the park and some temporary tattoos from the quarter machine at the grocery store. We suppose we should start actually doing some fun stuff with our kids, before we lose track of July and all the summer stuff at Target is replaced with back to school supplies. But for now, we're going to take one more lazy day to laugh at these funny parenting tweets instead.
7-year-old: How do you get money when you don't have any more teeth for the tooth fairy?— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 24, 2019
Me: You work.
7: That's a terrible idea.
This kid isn't wrong. Working is actually kind of terrible when you consider how most kids make money - birthdays, holidays, and ripping teeth out of their mouths. Teeth should just keep coming in and falling out so we always have some spending cash.
As I buried my child in the sand at the beach, I realized I have matured so much as a parent but not enough to not give them sand-boobs.— Jessie (@mommajessiec) June 24, 2019
Just because we have a kid doesn't mean we're not the same 12-year-old at the beach who thinks sand boobs are funny. They are funny. Especially on a kid.
My son announces he is going to empty the dishwasher with the same tone and tenor as if he is off to war.— Just J (@junejuly12) June 22, 2019
In his defense, that is one of the worst jobs and we don't like it either. We do it, but we don't do it with joy.
Throwback to when my kid ate whatever I made for dinner without complaining. pic.twitter.com/ridXOVD850— ArtfulNight (@ArtfulNight) June 23, 2019
Ahhhh, the good ol' days! As much as we complain about pregnancy, because it can be really hard, it truly was the last time our kids actually did what we expected and asked of them.
My eight year old has started talking back and then saying (outloud) “hashtag roasted” and dabbing. Not one of the parenting books prepared me for this.— Ally (@TragicAllyHere) June 23, 2019
You all know that our kids are going to be dabbing at our funerals, right? Like this isn't going away anytime soon. We've created a monster generation of dabbers.
[Day at the beach]— SpacedMom (@copymama) June 24, 2019
*Puts suits on kids, slathers them with sunscreen, makes sandwiches, packs cooler, packs beach bags, lugs 50 lbs or crap to beach, trudges over sand, lays out blanket, puts up umbrella, sets up beach chairs, *
6yo after 30 minutes: I wanna go back home
The beach is the absolute worst and no one should ever go because no one ever has a good time! Unless there are sand boobs involved. That's the only time it's acceptable.
"Oh shit, I'm supposed to go find them..."— Lauren Mullen (@DraggingFeeties) June 24, 2019
"The kids. We were playing hide and seek."
-my husband, about 20 minutes into a conversation he and I were having
Hide-and-seek is a fun game for when you want to forget that you even have kids for a short period of time. As much noise as they make, those little suckers sure can hide well.