Studies show that empathy is on the decline in children and young adults, and we witness it day in and day out through social media and when we turn on the news. During a time when our country feels more divided than ever, though, it’s paramount that we help our children develop character traits like empathy, compassion, and kindness.
But is empathy something that can even be taught? Well, if you ask Kidsbridge Tolerance Center’s Executive Director, Lynne Azarchi, the answer is yes — if you are willing to change your family’s habits a bit.
Can You Really Teach Empathy?
Given that babies as young as two days old will cry when they hear another infant crying, many people think that empathy is something that we’re born with. However, Lynne Azarchi, Executive Director of Kidsbridge Tolerance Center, firmly believes that you can teach any child empathy at any age.
Azarchi shared, “My colleagues forewarned me that empathy could not be taught and that I should not even try, but I proved them wrong: empathy can be taught and growth [can be] measured.”
This is exactly why Azarchi recently released The Empathy Advantage, a book to help parents teach their child empathy. The Empathy Advantage provides parents with Azarchi’s research that proves empathy can be taught. The book also explains the brain science behind everything and addresses how the rise in “screen time” and the drop in face-to-face interaction contributes to the decline in empathy. Most importantly, though, The Empathy Advantage provides parents with a multitude of tips and techniques for counteracting this trend with children from toddlerhood through their teens.
No matter how old your child is, Azarchi says that it’s never too late to start developing empathy skills within your child. In fact, the book specifically outlines sections with developmentally appropriate recommendations for fostering empathy, which is why the book includes chapters for infants to three years, three to six years, elementary years, and middle/high school years.
What Lynne Azarchi Recommends
According to Azarchi, “Building empathy is like building a muscle: it grows stronger and stronger the more it is used and exercised.” This is why The Empathy Advantage includes several recommendations for parents to help their children build empathy.
For example, Azarchi suggests that parents sneak empathy lessons into everyday activities, like reading time, crafts, and meal time. Azarchi also recommends that parents practice role playing with their children and praising kindness when you see it. Azarchi says, “Catch your kids in the act of being kind and make them want to be so again and again.”
Furthermore, Azarchi suggests that you limit your children’s screen time. When you do allow your child to watch shows, watch with them whenever possible. Discuss what they learned from the program, and what they thought about the characters’ behaviors. Similarly, find ways to add service learning into your child’s life.
“Service learning involves both discussion and evoking feelings for kids to understand what it feels like to be hungry, what it feels like to not know where their next meal is coming from, or what it feels like to be in a homeless shelter,” explains Azarchi.
For younger children, story time provides a great opportunity to work in empathy lessons! You can read stories in which characters display empathy and kindness, then discuss the story with your child after you read. Ask your child how they think characters in the stories feel, what they think of the choices the characters make, and what they might do in the same situation.
Finally, Azarchi recommends that you do everything you can to expose your child to diversity from a young age. As parents, we must actively engage youth in age-appropriate conversations about racism, stereotypes and discrimination earlier and more consistently.
Although the world has become highly polarized and lacking in empathy, there’s nothing to say we can’t work towards change. By helping our children build empathy, we can help make the world a better place in years to come.
Sources: SageJournals, Lynne Azarchi