It's difficult enough to co-parent effectively, but it's something everyone should strive to do if they choose to get a divorce when they have children. Co-parenting has its challenges on a good day, but throw in the holidays and it takes on a whole new level. Add coronavirus to the mix, and you have yourself the perfect ending to a horrible year. But it doesn't have to be that way. You can be separated or divorced and still get along with each other, and you should try to do so, for the sake of your child. Parenting as a cohesive unit is challenging enough, but when two people choose to live apart, it is near impossible. We've got a few tips to help your with co-parenting through the holidays, 2020 style.
Co-Parenting Through The Holidays
No one expects you to get along well with your ex, especially in the beginning when wounds are fresh and feelings are hurt. But if you can get along for the benefit of your child, it will go a long way to giving your child the holiday they are accustomed to.
Try having Christmas as a family. You might not be the complete unit you were before, but you can still be a family, celebrating holidays together and making things as uncomplicated as you can for your child. You do need to be careful that you don't confuse your child by allowing them to think you may get back together, so be open about your plans and try to make the most of things.
Remember, if you are happy and show respect toward your ex, your child will see a healthy new relationship forming, rather than feel more anger or sadness about the life they had changing.
Holiday Limitations
If you are a co-parent through the holidays with the added stress of the coronavirus restrictions, we send our condolences. This holiday season will be unlike any other. There may be limits on how many people you can have over, or where you are able to go.
It is important to consider your ex during this time, especially if there are restrictions. Again, you may not be a fan of theirs, but they are half of your child's world so treat them well. Make sure that you don't make a ton of plans with family that will hinder the time that your child gets to see their parent. Barring any unpleasant circumstances, parenting should be an equal privilege between both parents, no matter who left who or how it was done.
Getting By On Your Own
There is a chance that you will spend some time alone this holiday season, and with Covid-19 looming large over much of the world, it's not likely that you'll be invited to too many gatherings. So how do you get by without a little help from your friends?
This is a tricky one since it's likely been a long time since you prioritized yourself, but you've got this. If you find that you will have some unaccounted for time, think of something you would love to do on your own. Have you been dying to read a book, without interruptions? Would you prefer to go for lunch by yourself and a leisurely stroll? Or maybe you will be able to visit a friend and even get in a conversation without worrying about anyone but you. Give it a thought, and really try to put yourself back in your shoes and decide what a great time would be for you.
There might be nothing you can do about some alone time, so make the most of it instead of wallowing in what you have no control over.
Minimize Your Child's Travel Time
It's hard not to have your children with you. From the time they were born, your entire world has revolved around them. But shifting your kids back and forth to make sure you feel better, might not be what is in their best interest.
Allow your kids some down time. This means giving them more than a day or two at each house before having them pack up and switch houses and parents again. It might pain you not to see them for a few days, but it should be about what is easiest and most relaxing for them.
It's a good idea to have a conversation with your child to let them know that they will be going between two houses, ask how they feel and listen. Get your ex in on the conversation as well. Make it a family matter and discuss it in a way that gives your child some power back. After all, if they are happy, your happiness follows.
Sources: Healthline, Yahoo, Divorce Mag