Some couples are getting “sleep divorces” and, while it might sound harsh, it could be the key to not smothering your partner in the middle of the night with their drool-soaked pillow and avoiding a real divorce. It’s also kind of en vogue.
If you’ve ever watched a black-and-white movie or show like I Love Lucy, you may have found it a bit odd to see married couples sleeping in separate beds, but it turns out this 50s norm is anything but tired.
If you’re on the verge of pressing the “catapult my spouse out the window” setting on your Sleep Number bed due to their snoring or other unfavorable bedtime habits, you’re not alone. It’s estimated that 25% of couples in the U.S. are sleeping apart, a figure that is very much on the rise, and while that may seem like a red flag that spells out marriage woes, Science says otherwise.
There’s no lack of research that tells us that a lack of sleep isn’t healthy, and mothers are notorious for racking up a sleep debt and literally wearing the effects of sleep-deprivation like a uniform: wrinkles, weight gain, mental fog, and irritability, sound familiar? The National Sleep Foundation says that adults should be getting 7 to 9 hours of sleep every night, while the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention say that we should be getting more, about 10 hours of sleep each night, or we could die.
According to a study conducted by the University of California, Berkeley, sleep deprivation can put a damper on how appreciative couples feel towards one another and lead to resentment.
Couples have varying reasons for sleeping apart (that don’t include cheating, okay, Janet?) – snoring, insomnia, different sleep preferences such as temperature and mattress type, restless leg syndrome, blanket hogging, differences in opinion when it comes to co-sleeping, different schedules, cornea scorching caused by the light equivalent to one thousand suns from your partner’s phone or laptop screen as they do a social media death scroll, or your spouse screaming into their headset with their buddies while they play Call of Duty together.
A 2005 study by the National Sleep Foundation indicated that nearly 1 in 4 American couples sleep in different beds or bedrooms, a statistic that includes (or included) some high-profile celebs like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, Kevin and Danielle Jonas, Ryan O’Neal & Farrah Fawcett, Tim Burton and Helena Bonham Carter, and half of the Kardashian clan and their current or ex SO’s – Kourtney and Scott, Kris and Bruce, and Kim and Kanye.
A survey by the National Association of Home Builders projected that larger homes would include two master suites by 2015.
While sleeping in separate beds may be ideal or even necessary for many couples to, sleep divorcing can have its cons, too, such as missing out on pillow talk, pre-bedtime nookie, and cuddling which increases a couple’s feelings of connectedness.
Maybe getting a sleep divorce is the answer to your spouse not appearing on the next episode of 48 Hours. Maybe it’s not for you. The decision is very personal and should be discussed together as a couple.
So, tell us, do you and your spouse do the Lucy and Desi position where you break out the twin beds and divorce at night? Give us the scoop in the comments!