Marriage is hard work. Even the best marriages require attention, understanding, cooperation, and respect. So many people assume that once they get married, that's it, it'll just coast and things will be fine! But that's how marriages hit bumps in the road. It's so important to look at your marriage as a team, and what helps a team be successful? Teamwork, of course! There is no magic formula for a happy marriage unfortunately, but there are definitely some things you and your spouse can do (and not do!) that will help strengthen your bond and help make your partnership successful. Twitter user Ryan Stephens recently shared he and his wife's tips for a blissful marriage, and they're pretty spot-on.
Read through and see how many you and your partner do on a regular basis, and find out where you can do better.
My wife and I have found that focusing more on being teammates and less on being soulmates is a solid recipe for marital success.— Ryan Stephens 🥃 (@ryanstephens) March 6, 2019
Here's quick thread on the 6 rules we try to follow to be a good teammate to each other in our marriage.
We love that first line - focus more on being TEAMmates than soulmates.
Having a soulmate is a lovely thought, but you know what? Soulmates can be anyone. Your sister or cousin or best friend can be your soulmate. Soulmate implies that the bond is effortless and doesn't need regular maintenance.
Your marriage is better served by thinking of your spouse as your teammate.
1.) No one should ever hear anything bad about your spouse from you.— Ryan Stephens 🥃 (@ryanstephens) March 6, 2019
It's one thing to joke with friends about something trivial and quite another to demean your spouse's character.
Know the difference and always discuss the latter with your spouse and no one else.
Agree 100%. It's one thing to have issues with your spouse and within your marriage. It's quite another to publicize those and cast your partner in a bad light.
2.) Over communicate.— Ryan Stephens 🥃 (@ryanstephens) March 6, 2019
You cannot read each other’s minds.
Never assume the other person knows what you meant.
Give each other the benefit of the doubt when miscommunications happen.
Double check if necessary.
Communication is key! There really is no such thing as too much communication. And really, we need to get back to face-to-face talking, and not trying to work things out via text or email. A lot can get misconstrued or misunderstood. Make the time to sit down and talk to your partner as often as possible.
3.) Try new things together.— Ryan Stephens 🥃 (@ryanstephens) March 6, 2019
Even if one of you is typically more adventurous than the other, have fun with it.
Trying new things gets an individual out of their comfort zone and is often easier as a couple, allowing you both to grow stronger together.
This one is so great! You don't have to like or love the same things. But it can be so much fun, and really help you bond, if you and your partner try new things together and get out of your respective comfort zones once in a while.
4.) Be each other’s champion. Celebrate wins and encourage each other.— Ryan Stephens 🥃 (@ryanstephens) March 6, 2019
Bring home champagne after a promotion at work, back each other up when engaging in that battle with your heathen toddler, work out together, etc.
Never cut the other person down when they're struggling.
Hold your partner up. Celebrate their successes, and support them through their struggles. You win as a team, and you lose as a team.
5.) Be grateful for each other’s contributions.— Ryan Stephens 🥃 (@ryanstephens) March 6, 2019
Whether it be money, time, chores, childcare, or anything else, no one contribution is greater than another.
And don’t keep score.
If you truly value each other’s input, then the scorecard shouldn’t (and doesn’t) matter.
We admit, we get tripped up on this one a lot. The mental score keeping can create a lot of resentment when you start to feel like your partner isn't pulling their weight. Instead of focusing on what you do and they don't, take a different approach, and look at the things they do contribute or do well.
6. Trust and respect each other.— Ryan Stephens 🥃 (@ryanstephens) March 6, 2019
Especially in front of others, including your children.
If you do not respect your spouse in front of other people, why should those people respect your spouse?
Above all else, this is the golden rule. A marriage is nothing without mutual trust and respect. For each other, and for your partnership. If you've got that, you can take on anything.
READ NEXT: The Divorce Rate In America Is Dropping Fast