Parents everywhere know that play is important to a child’s development. They learn through play, and through all different kinds of play. They learn through independent play, and team play, and they learn by being creative and from reading a book. There is no one that thinks that play is harmful to a child’s development. However, in the back of almost every parent’s mind is the safety of their child. They want to make sure that they are safe, and that they are not going to be injured. However, that could get in the way of play and development.
“Risky play” is something that we have been learning more about, and it almost goes against every parenting instinct that we have to protect our children. We take them to the park, and we see them climb higher than they have before, and the first thing we are going to yell out is to “be careful.” It is instinct, because we want to protect our children, and we do not want them to get hurt. However, this could be hindering their development, and it could actually be doing more harm than good, and we are going to explore why.
What Is Risky Play?
Let’s make sure that we understand what risky play is, and according to Active For Life, there are many ways this can be done. Risky play is about allowing children to test their own boundaries and “flirt with uncertainty.” Children engage in risky play by playing at great heights, running really fast, playing near water, and playing in a rough-and-tumble way. Now, it is important that we note that in any of these situations, parents need to be aware and watch their child, because there may need to be situations where parents need to step in, but the general idea is that parents do not intervene unless absolutely necessary.
The idea that parents should just sit back and watch their children engage in risks without offering a warning can seem absurd, but parents are often amazed to see that their child has a sense of what is too dangerous for them. More often than not, parents will not see their child injured, but will instead see that their child is capable of identifying risks and managing them.
Benefits Of Risky Play
There are many benefits to risky play for children, and one of the biggest ones is self-regulation. According to Bridgeway Centre, when a child is allowed to take safe risks, they are learning to manage their fear and overcome it. It is the first step in achieving a skill that will do them well in the future. Children will also learn how to handle feelings of being nervous and working through it. They are able to adapt to the environment they are in, and get through it in their own way.
They also build a lot of confidence when engaging in risky play. When they complete something that was previously challenging, they can now say that they did it, and they are also more likely to try something new the next time. They learn that even if they can’t do something, they can always try again.
The Danger Of Saying “Be Careful”
It is always there on the tip of our tongues when our children are doing something risky, and that is to yell out, “Be careful.” It makes sense why parents would yell that out, but it could cause more harm than good. Yelling out be careful can go against all the benefits that we listed out, according to Backwood’s Mama. One of the biggest problems with 'be careful' is that it is not specific enough, and a child may not understand exactly what they are being careful about.
Another big problem with 'be careful' is it teaches children to be fearful. Instead of letting them use their own judgement and risk management, we teach them (unintentionally) that their actions are something to be feared, and this can hold them back from doing it again, or attempting future activities. Children don’t want to get hurt, so when you apply that something they are doing will hurt them, they are going to avoid it.
There is also the chance that you yelling out will be the cause of them getting hurt. If they are near the top of a jungle gym, and you suddenly yell out for them to be careful, it could startle them. This could cause them to fall when they otherwise may have been able to navigate it themselves and learn just how far they could go before it became dangerous.
Sources: Active For Life, Bridgeway Centre, Backwood’s Mama