While it may seem impossible, parents worry about making sure their children are happy all the time may be having the opposite effect on them. As moms, we want our children to be happy all the time. We try hard to make sure that they have what they need, and in the age of a pandemic, we work even harder to make sure that they are content and pleasant. While it is important for children to experience a range of emotions, so that they learn how to navigate them. Knowing this does not make it any easier for moms, and the constant “obsession with happiness” may be making our children miserable.
According to Sentinel Source and The Child Hub, a psychologist pointed out a theory that many may not think about. She pointed out that she could not recall anyone in life who has ever gotten happy simply because someone told them to be happy.
A lot of this is blamed on culture, and how the culture and mindset is that being happy is the “right” way to be. This can be seen from all the smiley face stickers that are given, to subtle hints from parents and adults around them. These messages can make children feel like happy feelings are the only acceptable feelings to have.
While this seems like a positive, it can actually hinder emotional development in children, because it does not teach them that unhappy feelings, like sadness, anger or frustration are just as valid and acceptable.
When it comes to the mental health of children and youth, this ‘pursuit of happiness’ may actually be causing more incidents of depression and anxiety. The more parents push for our children to be happy, the less prepared they are to handle and navigate other emotions, and this is seen as the best-case scenario.
In the worst-case scenario, this can teach children that these feelings are to be hidden and never shown. That they are unacceptable in society and should not be shown. Experts are also saying that this is the perfect time to change our mindset. With the pandemic stalling the lives of many children and bringing about challenges no one thought they would ever have to face, now is the right time. Now is the perfect time to help our children learn, explore and navigate these “unhappy” feelings and teach them that they are normal and OK.
Sources: Sentinel Source, The Child Hub