What does a perfect mom look like? Does she wake up at 5 a.m. to bake several trays of chocolate chip cookies for her kid's bake sale? Does she always know the right thing to say when something goes wrong or her kids are fighting? Does she plan every aspect of her family's lives and when they go on a road trip or vacation, packs healthy lunches and snacks and never forgets anything at home?
While many moms would define "perfection" differently, there is one thing that every mom can agree on, and that's the fact that striving to be the perfect mom can be exhausting and stressful. Moms have a lot on their plate and feel like there's too much pressure to do it all. Work, family time, errands, chores, groceries, dinner: it's a lot.
That being said, there are definitely some things that perfect mamas do that are pretty amazing and make a huge difference in a kid's life. Let's redefine the idea of the perfect mother as someone who cares deeply about her children and wants to commit to creating wonderful memories and lives for them. Here are 20 things that moms can do that are always worth the effort.
20 Throwing A Pinterest-Worthy Birthday Party
Moms know that when their kid has a birthday, it's a big deal and needs to be celebrated in style. Throwing a really cool and perfectly planned party is one thing that is definitely worth the effort.
As this mom wrote for Babble about throwing a Pinterest-worthy birthday bash: "I still realize that they are a bit excessive and probably unnecessary since my child would most likely be just as happy with a cupcake, a candle, and a song. BUT she loved the elaborate party, too. It made her feel special and loved and even though I had a few crazy-making moments during the planning of our fête, I really enjoyed putting it all together."
19 Cooking For And With Your Children
The picture of the perfect mom always includes someone who is cooking breakfast, lunches, and dinners from scratch and serving up homemade treats. Cooking for and with your children is another thing that is always going to be worth the effort.
As The Spruce Eats says, this includes meal prepping and planning, along with putting in the time to get in the kitchen with your little ones. This works a few different ways: you get to spend time with your kids, you give them a great life skill, and everyone will really enjoy it. Sure, you don't have to cook dinner every single night, but making this happen often is a great idea.
18 Coming Up With Traditions For Your Family To Follow
Putting in the time and effort to have family traditions is also a good idea. As author and expert Lisa Druxman told Best Life Online, “Establish a daily tradition for your family, like a bedtime routine or eating as a family; a weekly tradition, like family game night or French Toast Fridays; and an annual tradition, like working at a soup kitchen on Thanksgiving or a family fun run on New Year’s Day.”
It might sound tiring to imagine adding something else to your family's schedule but everyone will love having these traditions. It's nice and makes everyone feel close to each other and really cements your family life.
17 Making It A Point To Be Calm
Moms definitely know that it's a smart idea to stay calm when talking to your children and when problems come up. Sometimes it can be easier said than done (okay, it always seems that way).
Putting in the extra effort to be calm is something that a perfect mom would do, and it's also something that every mom should strive for. As this mom writes for imom.com, staying calm is a good thing for moms to do: "Discipline calmly... Keeping our cool while we shape our children helps us to discipline with firmness instead of harshness." Your children will notice and they'll appreciate it.
16 Helping Others
Between family dinners, homework, kids of different ages, and all of the activities, it's hard for moms to think about adding other things to the calendar. But perfect moms would help others, right?
This is something else that is worth the effort. According to Parents.com, "You would think that moms would be tapped out in the giving department. But most happy moms make doing things for others a regular part of their lives, whether it's baking a lasagna for a family with a new baby or offering a ride to an elderly friend. Remember: Your helpfulness is another deposit in the karma bank." This is such a nice idea and kids and parents alike will enjoy it and feel good.
15 Keeping Up With Trends And Slang
It takes work to be able to relate to your children and learn about the things that they and their peers are interested in. It can feel awkward since, of course, you're of a different generation, and you don't want to get things wrong. It's still something that is worth doing, and perfect moms would absolutely learn slang and keep up with trends so they can relate to their children.
Cosmopolitan says that of the "best things moms do" this is one of them: "Get super excited when she learns a #cool thing kids say and drops it into every sentence. LOL, on fleek, etc."
14 Joining The PTA And Helping Out At Your Kid's School
Grown and Flown has a post on why it's such a good idea for moms to join the PTA. The perfect mom gets involved with her child's school, and this is something that all moms can do.
Grown and Flown notes that moms can join the PTA and help out in a big way, or a smaller way if that is all that is possible: "If you work full-time and can only help by sending in paper goods for the Thanksgiving feast, don’t feel apologetic for one second. There is no need to labor over sweet potatoes for a class of 25. (I have done both.) All help is appreciated so take a moment to acknowledge that your contribution mattered."
This is important for moms to know. The perfect mom helps out the way that she can.
13 Figuring Out Screen Time Rules Once And For All
In a story about what moms do on a daily basis, Popsugar says that mothers "Worry about kids getting too much screen time" and also "Use technology to pacify kids."
The perfect mom has figured out what screen time is best for their child, once and for all. Yes, this took a while, and yes, there were probably some meltdowns and stressful moments. Every mom knows how hard it can be to set rules for iPads and the like, but it's absolutely necessary to find a schedule that works for your family. Whether you say that the iPad can only be used for half an hour each day or you're good with more than that, you're a perfect mom if you figure this out.
12 Planning Family Vacations
Mommy University talks about the ways that family vacations are good for kids, including having fun and giving kids a chance to learn about the world. This website says, "Family vacations are a great way to expand a child’s understanding of the world around them. Kids step outside their own town, state or even country to see how other societies live."
While it takes time, money, and effort to plan family vacations, perfect moms know that these are a good idea and they don't mind putting in the time for this. It's good to remember that this doesn't have to be a place that is super far away and expensive. Even a weekend trip can be good.
11 Waking Up Early To Plan And Organize The Day
Sane Momma writes that waking up early to organize the day is a really great thing for a mom to get into the habit of doing.
You can probably agree that this sounds amazing because how many times have you missed your alarm and then rushed around to get lunches and breakfast made and do all kinds of things before it's even 9 a.m.?! This is not only a relaxing way to start the day but it's also something that perfect moms definitely do. They know that they need a bit of "me time" (or "mom time" as we could call it) and that everyone will enjoy this new routine.
10 Signing Your Kids Up For (And Taking Them To) Activities
Moms know that kids love going to various activities after-school and on weekends. It's not only fun for them but they can learn social skills and meet other children and explore a hobby that they're really interested in.
Moms also know that it can be time-consuming to sign kids up for activities, not to mention actually taking them. And yet this is something that perfect moms do and also something that is going to pay off. Kids have lots of energy and need a place for it, and you could be encouraging an interest that could become a job or passion for them later on.
9 Befriending The Parents Of Your Kids' Friends Even When It's Time-Consuming
It would be awesome if moms always got along with the moms of their kids' friends. Of course, that's not always possible.
At the same time, though, it's going to be worth the time and effort to get to know your kids' friends' mothers and also do your best to get along with them. Sure, this means staying a little bit longer when dropping your kids off for play dates or picking them up, and it might feel a bit stressful to squeeze this time in. It'll pay off, though, and will help foster better relationships between the kids since everyone will feel warm and fuzzy toward each other. And if you end up making some real friends, that's even better.
8 Making Sure Kids Are Well-Rounded And Introduced To Sports And Arts And Culture
Some parents are all about sports and can't wait for their little ones to be old enough to play soccer, baseball, hockey, and/or basketball. Others are more artistically inclined and want their children to grow up loving to draw or paint.
No matter what kind of mom you are, you can encourage your kids to be well-rounded and to try out different activities, which means both sports and arts will be a thing in your household. This is another thing that a perfect mom would do because it's important and lovely to help kids explore different interests. Taking kids to art galleries and museums and also giving them the chance to try out a sport will be a great idea.
7 Encouraging Your Kids To Read (And To Love Reading)
According to Healthline, one of the "healthy habits" that mothers should instill in their children is reading.
The perfect mom encourages her kids to not only read but also to really love it. The cool thing is that if you're already a reader, then this is pretty simple for you to do (and you're already doing it, most likely). Filling a kid's room with books is a really nice thing to do and chances are, you still have some books that you loved as a child and can bring those into your reading sessions as well. This helps with so much: a kid's vocabulary, their imagination, and so on.
6 Cleaning The Kitchen Before The Day Begins
You might imagine a perfect mom having a perfectly beautiful white kitchen and think that their kids never, ever make a mess.
A perfect mom can have a clean kitchen and she can do this simple thing: clean it before the day begins. This is what the blogger at Todays The Best Day does. She writes, "I have a crazy obsession with my kitchen. It HAS to be clean before I do anything. So, I wake up and clean the kitchen each morning. That way if nothing gets done the rest of the day, at least I feel good about something. Find out what kind of schedule works best for you and stick with it."
5 Making Sure Your Kids Know You're Proud Of Them
For Every Mom has a post about things that good moms do, and telling kids that you're proud of them is one of them.
This is a wonderful thing for moms to do on a regular basis and it's also something that perfect moms do. It's nice to redefine perfection in this way because now it's about being the best mother that you can be and showing your children that you love them, care about them, and support them. This is what every mom can do every single day (and it has nothing to do with keeping a perfectly tidy house or anything pressure-inducing).
4 Making Family Time The Number One Thing
New Kids Center says that "being a good mom" is all about making family time the number one thing.
Spending time as a family will definitely be worth the effort. Kids and parents alike will benefit since it's nice to connect and feel that you are all getting along and having fun together. This is so cool and proves that being together totally counts as perfection, making all that time spent scrolling and comparing yourself to other people who seem to have it all together wasn't really worth it. (This is something that we all can't help but od, though.) Being a family and having fun is always worth it.
3 Never Missing A Performance Or Game (Unless Absolutely Necessary)
The perfect mom never misses a game or performance that is a big deal and means a lot to their child. They know that showing up and being there for these milestones is super key. Your children love seeing you there and hearing how proud you are and what you thought of the play or game that they were involved in.
But at the same time, the perfect mom knows that sometimes, it's not possible, so you can feel like a perfect mom if you make the effort the majority of the time to go to these games and events.
2 Researching The Best Preschools And Schools For Your Children
Perfect moms also put in lots of time to research the best preschools and schools to send their children to. You know that you have to be careful and make the choice that is right for your kids and your family.
While books, TV shows, and movies often show parents getting stressed out about this kind of thing, the perfect mom knows that getting stressed isn't going to help anyone. She simply wants to be well-informed and choose well. If you can adopt this attitude and approach the school search this way, you'll definitely be the perfect mom for sure.
1 The Most Important Thing Of All
According to imom, "being present" as a mom is a good idea: "We know what we need to do to achieve this, but it’s not easy. We need to put down our phones, turn off our iPads, and stop loading the dishwasher when our children want our attention."
It is hard to be present and there in the moment since everyone is so busy and has such long to-do lists but it's important. This might just be the most crucial thing of all and something that every perfect mom does. If you can confidently say that you do all 20 things on this list, then congrats, you have achieved perfection as a mom and there's no reason to worry otherwise.