Self-control is not a skill that kids are born with. It is something that has to be worked on in order to become proficient. But considering that kids only begin to be able to have self-control between three and a half and four years of age, according to PBS Kids, it takes time to get self-control to the point where taming temper tantrums and the ability to regulate emotions happen with frequency. And a great way to help kids improve their self-control is with play therapy techniques.
According to Cy-Hope Counseling, play therapy is beneficial for kids between the ages of three to eleven years old. It is during this time that self-control is honed. Therefore, it makes sense that these age groups would be the target audience for play therapy. And the quicker it is recognized that self-control could use a little help, the hope is the sooner the inability to have self-control can be fixed. It makes for a quieter and calmer home space as a result.
Here are play therapy techniques to improve kids' self-control.
10 Duck Duck Goose
Duck Duck Goose is a game where one child walks around in a circle of children, touching each gently on the head. One of the sitting children will be chosen as the "goose" by child walking in a circle.
Once one of the children has been chosen, the "goose" has to get up from a seated position and chase the child who named them "goose," with the goal being to tag them before the child who chose them sat down. The "goose" then becomes the person who walks around in a circle to choose the next "goose."
The game promotes self-control because kids have to be patient while waiting to see if they are chosen to be "goose." But because kids are only focused on the fun, they do not realize all they are learning in the process.
9 Red Light, Green Light
Red Light, Green Light is a game that is all about listening and self-control. Those who do not have self-control will find it hard to play initially, until they strengthen their skills through this play therapy favorite.
To play, there will be one child who is the traffic cop. The traffic cop will call out red light, green light, or yellow light.
As each command is yelled out, kids will have to stop, go, or slow down. If a wrong move is made or if kids move when they are supposed to stop, they are sent back to the beginning.
The child who reaches the traffic cop first wins.
8 Operation
According to the Society for the Advancement of Psychotherapy, board games are a great form of play therapy. As such, a variety of them are used to help kids work through any issues they may have.
For those who are struggling with self-control, Operation is a great game to play. This is because when it is the child's turn to try to take a piece out of the game board with the metallic tweezers, they need to have patience and go slowly. Those with self-control will be successful on their turn.
Conversely, those who move too quickly will likely lose their turn. Something that may lead to temper tantrums in children, which is why playing board games with frequency is so important to those working on self-control.
7 Follow The Leader
Follow the Leader may sound like a very straightforward game for kids. That is because it is. But for those who are struggling with self-control, it can be a tough game to play.
According to Empowered Parents, the goal of the kids is to pay attention to what the leader's movements are. If there is a misstep and the move is not followed, the player who did not mimic the movement are out.
The game make kids pay attention, follow directions, and use concentration in order to be successful. Something that can only be done when self-control is practiced.
6 Jenga
Jenga is not a game to be moved through quickly. It is a game of concentration, hand-eye coordination, and self-control. As such it makes for a great game for kids who are looking to strengthen their self-control skills.
The reason self-control is so necessary in Jenga is that to remove one block from a wobbly stack of block, players need to move slowly and with purpose. When the movements are fast and care is not taken, the entire stack will fall. And the game at hand comes to an end.
5 Freeze Tag
The goal of Freeze Tag is to have a team of two players who are "It" successfully "freeze" the remaining participants by tagging them. If they succeed, team "It" wins.
If kids who are being chased are able to continue to "unfreeze" those who have been frozen and any of the team remains in movement after three minutes, the team of two of "It" loses.
According to The Genius of Play, not only does Freeze Tag work on self-control for those who are "It" by having to meticulously tag one player at a time but those who are being chased need to have self-control to remain frozen.
In conjunction with this, per the publication, the game also teaches skills that include:
- Problem-solving skills
- Resiliency
- Social skills
- Coordination
- Gross motor skills
- Balance
Freeze Tag is a wonderful tool for kids. And the best part is that kids do not even realize they are being taught anything because they are too busy having fun.
4 Simon Says
To play Simon Says, kids have to listen carefully to what "Simon" says to do. If "Simon" does not say, "Simon says" before the command shouted out, kids are not supposed to move. If "Simon says" is said, kids have to complete the movement until the next one is said.
They only way to be successful with Simon Says is to pay attention and have self-control. If self-control is lacking, the correct movements will not be followed and kids will be out. The more the game is played, the stronger both self-control and listening skills become.
3 Mother May I
Mother May I is a game where kids need to ask "Mother" permission to make any moves. If the person being "Mother" says "Yes, you may," the movements can be made. But if kids are told, "No you may not," kids are not allowed to make the move requested.
Kids may have a tendency to get impatient with this game when told they are not allowed to do something. This is when they learn to use their self-control skills. If those skills are not used and kids move without permission, they will be sent back to the start. That is something no kids want to happen.
2 Hide And Seek
One of the most popular play therapy techniques is Hide and Seek. This is because if kids do not want to be found, they have to remain silent and still. If they call out, they will be found and the game is over. As such, it is all about self-control to be a successful hider.
Those who are doing the seeking are also practicing self-control, according to Child's Play in Action. This is because patience needs to be used to find those hiding. As such, if kids remain in control, they will eventually find those hiding. But, if they choose to give up early out of frustration, self-control skills still need some strengthening.
1 Musical Chairs
Playing Musical Chairs makes kids have "control over their bodies," according to Michigan State University Extension. And when they are successful with this, self-control is strong.
The reason this game works so well to hone self-control skills is that kids have to have a strategy to get to a seat before the song is stopped. As such, they have to control how fast or slow they go to make this happen. And by keeping the body in control, self-control itself is practiced.
Source: PBS Kids, Cy-Hope Counseling, Society for the Advancement of Psychotherapy, Empowered Parents, The Genius of Play, Child's Play in Action, Michigan State University Extension