When couples become parents, their children become all consuming. It is easy for a relationship to be put on the back burner while the two involved are caught up in changing diapers, doing school drop off and don’t forget about the extracurricular activities. It is important to make sure that a couple works on their marriage because when the children are grown and gone, the marriage will still be there. What does it take to make a marriage last? The answer is a lot of things, but personal space is important.

A couple needs time apart, and while it seems to be counterproductive to be apart to become more together, it is true. There are psychological reasons behind spending time apart, and it is important to make sure you do not get offended if your partner comes to you and says that they need some time alone. It is not personal; it is a way to preserve the relationship.

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According to Psychology Today, hearing the words that your partner “needs some space” can make someone feel a sense of fear and anxiety, and that is normal. However, it is usually always the exact opposite, and space from your partner can actually help a relationship.

Be An Individual First

Think about who you were before you became a wife or a husband, you were an individual and this is something that should be protected, according to Lifehack. Individuality is something that needs to be cherished and protected. A marriage does not stay healthy and happy if one person is unhappy. In order for both parties to stay committed and happy, it is important that they are happy. Getting time alone to express your individuality is what can make you happy.

It is also wise to not smother a relationship. A couple who spends every waking hour together can find themselves smothering. They forget who they are as a person away from the relationship, and while you may love someone, it is possible to get “tired” of them.

It Preserves The Relationship

Doing things apart from your relationship is a form of self-care. Going out and spending time with your family and friends without your significant other is a way to unwind and relax. If you need this, chances are your partner does to. According to Bustle, taking time for yourself will help the relationship grow because you are happier. When you are happier, you are less likely to get into arguments and fights with your partner over trivial things.

When two people are happy, the relationship is only going to grow stronger because both parties feel fulfilled and like they have everything they need. When your partner spends some time away, he is able to come back feeling refreshed and in a better spirit.

Too Much Of Anything Is A Bad Thing

We are used to hearing that too much of a good thing is bad when it comes to candy and sweets. However, this is true when it comes to our relationships too. When two people spend all of their time together, there is nothing there to make the relationship exciting anymore. It becomes routine and, frankly, boring. By spending time apart, it is a way to bring some life back into your relationship. It will bring back that spark, and ensure that you always have something to talk about.

Spending time apart is vital in making sure the marriage is as strong as it can be, and this is important when it comes to parenting as well. A couple who are happy and in a cohesive relationship will be better able to make decisions when it comes to parenting and their children will grow to know what to look for in a partner and that they also will need time to work on themselves.

So, when your partner says that they need some space, they are not saying this to hurt you. They are saying this because they want to make sure the relationship lasts. In an ideal world, they would probably love to spend every minute with you, but they know it is not healthy and that sometimes the only way to make it stronger is to have some space and work on themselves for just a little while.

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Sources: Bustle, Life Hack, Psychology Today