We all know that the one thing that teenagers are fighting for is independence, to break free from their parents and start living their own life. When we reach adulthood, many believe that they are free from their parent’s control. That when we become parents ourselves, we are free to make our own choices and live our own life. However, there are instances were our parents continue to have a hold on our lives, and sometimes we don’t even realize it.

When mom is dealing with a controlling parent, it can be overwhelming. She is trying to make her own way and raise her child in the way she wants to, but she is constantly being manipulated by her mother (or father) and noticing the signs is the first step in stopping the behavior.

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Who Pays The Bills?

Even though mom is grown, sometimes she needs help and she will often still turn to her parents for help. This could be financially, as she deals with bills that keep piling up. According to Refinery 29, if her parents are a little too eager to help her with her bills, this may mean that they want to hold something over her head.

A parent who willingly offers to pay for a home, car, or even some groceries from time to time may not have good intentions. It could be their way of trying to have some level of control over you. If they want to put in some money for a house, they may feel like they have a right to tell you which house to buy, and chances are it is going to be close to them.

Always An Opinion

Everyone has an opinion, but most people know how to read a room and decide when their opinion is warranted. According to Mom Junction, a controlling parent will often have an opinion on every single thing you do, eat or wear. They will place their opinion on almost every decision you wear, and they will expect you to conform to the way they see it. If they tell you that your brown jacket is not flattering, even though you love it, they are expecting you to get rid of it.

Age Of Social Media

In the age of technology, there seems to be even more ways for parents to be controlling over their grown adult children. Stalking behavior is not just something that is done in movies and TV shows, controlling parents like to follow their children a little too closely on their social media accounts. If you notice your mom is liking and commenting one every single thing you post to Facebook, Instagram or TikTok, and while this may have been acceptable when you were a child, it is crossing a major boundary as an adult.

How To Deal

A big part of controlling parents is guilt. They will often use manipulative strategies to make you feel guilty and this makes it easier for them to get what they want/need from you. According to Harley Therapy, a controlling parent is not easy to manage, because you often do not want to ruin the relationship.

Even if you know your parent is controlling you, you would rather them fix their behavior rather than cut them out of your life. The biggest thing you need to do is establish boundaries with your parents and make it very clear what will not be tolerated any longer.

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Sources: Refinery 29, Mom Junction, Harley Therapy