Conceiving a child can be planned or spontaneous. Becoming a parent is a decision. The styles of parenting you choose will affect the adult your child becomes. The goal of a good parent is to raise a decent man or woman.
Most often parenting becomes as spontaneous as the conception process and the results can be detrimental. If you are the planning type, here is a list of parenting styles to choose from. Just for kicks, let us throw in a few you may want to avoid or just be aware of when you see it.
10 Authoritative Parenting
This may be the most common type of parenting for most adults who grew up before the new millennium. The strategy of authoritative parenting is to foster the growth of an independent and well-rounded human being. If you have ever heard this statement said in your home, "When you live under my roof, you will have to abide by my rules..." you may have grown up in an authoritative household.
It involves the give and takes approach. All members of the home ought to contribute. Children are given chores and follow basic household rules, like an extension of school. Punishment includes the restriction of items, being sent to a room away from the rest of the family or time outs in a corner for smaller children. The child is given gifts as rewards for good actions. It requires that the child be obedience and in return, the parents provide; food, clothing, shelter, support, and love.
9 Attachment Parenting
Developed by a professor in pediatrics, Dr. Sears, Attachment parenting is a bonding relationship between a parent and child in the early stages of childhood. The goal is for the child to be securely attached so that they will feel like the world is a safe place. All people will be seen as fundamentally good.
An attachment parent usually breastfeeds, sometimes past the toddler years. Co-sleeping is typical and meeting the needs of your child is done quickly. The child in such a relationship shadows the parent and learns how to take care of themselves and their surroundings. There is open communication on both sides. The point is for your child is eventually be independent, knowing that they have a safe community to go home to in case of mishaps.
8 Helicopter Parenting
Helicopter parenting looks a lot like Attachment parenting at the beginning. The difference is that the parent never teaches and the child is never released into the world. The helicopter parent tries to make sure that their child is protected physically and emotionally, forever.
The world is painted as a harmful place where strangers are dangerous. The helicopter parent intervenes in with teachers in schools, and with friends and if left unchecked they carry this behavior into adulthood at their child's place of employment. Helicopter children do not learn basic life skills as the parent takes care of all aspects of their lives. With this method of parenting, you would not usually punish your child.
7 Positive Parenting
American psychologist Martin Seligman in 1998 created a philosophy known as positive psychology, sprouting from this is positive parenting. There is not enough research done on this as the children raised with this method are few and it is still new.
The premise of Positive parenting is to fill up a new human with happiness and meaningful activities. Activities include looking into a possible future and setting goals to reach the desired outcome. There is also a component of dealing with trauma and pain as they arise. Looking back in the past is not encourages and pain is handled as soon as possible to not let it fester. Parent and child are in constant communication and monitoring life activities.
6 Authoritarian Parenting
Not to be confused with Authoritative parenting. The Authoritarian parent is all-seeing and all-knowing. The child's opinions are not taken into consideration.
The home is that of a dictatorship. Fathers are at the top of the food chain. Rules are to be followed without question. Order is kept if the children are obedient. A famous Bible verse is often used to support the Authoritarian parent, Ephesians 6:1 "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right." Though it occurs in any home not just Christians.
Punishment is necessary to maintain discipline and this could sometimes be physical. Emotions are suppressed in a highly aggressive home. The goal is to raise well-behaved children.
5 Permissive Parenting
The permissive parent gives control over to their child. There are usually no boundaries. As the parent in this relationship, you will respond frequently to the needs of your child. The environment in a permissive household is usually without conflict. Parent and child are on equal footing.
The outcome of this parenting method has been documented and the result is not the best. According to the Journal of Abnorm, Child Psychology in a study done on parenting styles, "...internalizing problems at age 4 were greatest among behaviorally inhibited children who also were exposed to permissive parenting." They were also linked to more risky behaviors as teenagers and young adults. It shows that boundaries are necessary.
4 Unconditional Parenting
Unconditional parenting is based on a book written by author Alfie Kohn. This style allows for a child to just be themselves. The parent will support their actions no matter what. The child in such a structure is to feel loved "unconditionally", hence the name given.
Punishments and praise are equally weapons of manipulation intended on controlling our children. You are to love your child regardless of their behavior. Our little ones are to find their natural character inside and not to morph their personalities to feel accepted or appreciated by us adults.
3 Neglectful Parenting
This one is easy to see. It is not just emotional, it shows physically as well. A neglected child can be seen playing outside on their own often. Their clothes are often time soiled or do not fit correctly. They may not be feed often.
The neglectful parent may be going through a life crisis, it is most often a single parent that is not able to cope with the task of raising a child.
2 Toxic Parenting
Toxic parenting can be seen in many different ways. Sometimes the intention is good and other times not so much. Toxic here is the result more so than the intent. Narcissists as parents can be put in the same box as helicopter parenting.
A toxic environment could have a parent who is abusive physically, emotionally, mentally and even sexually. The long term results of toxic parenting can be devastating. The individual may develop a poor self-image and a lack of self-worth.
1 Spiritual Or Holistic Parenting
Spiritual parenting is rooted in eastern philosophy with the focus directed within. Spiritual awareness, being present and emotional growth of the child are of utmost importance.
You as a spiritual parent would respect each child as an individual. You would create a safe space for your child to develop his or her own beliefs. You lead by example. It is believed that your child will do as they see and not what you tell them. So active matters most as a spiritual parent.
The types of parenting styles that you choose will be the foundation for the adult your child becomes. The responsibility is great. The good news is that there are a lot of studies done on all the methods of parenting. If you have all the information and have the best plan for your family, then any choice you make will be the right one.