Of any mother/daughter relationship on television, the one that is talked about the most would have to be Lorelai and Rory Gilmore on Gilmore Girls. The series, which ran from 2000 until 2007, is a sweet and charming look at a young mom and her teenage daughter who are the very best of friends. While some people watched the show and thought, "That would never actually happen", others saw themselves in these hilarious and witty characters. Whether going for burgers at Luke's diner or talking about Rory's school life, this duo was never far from each other, and that's exactly how they both wanted it. Even when Rory graduated from high school and went to college, she and her mom talked all the time (well, for the most part, but more on that later).
Personally, Gilmore Girls is one of my favorite shows and it's because my mom and I have always said that we're just like Lorelai and Rory. We enjoy drinking coffee and chatting, and we tell each other everything.
It's worth taking a look at what Lorelai Gilmore is actually like as a parent. While there are definitely some ways that she is totally amazing, there are some times when moms might think that she should have acted differently. Here are 10 times that Lorelai was a great mom and 10 times that she wasn't.
Let's take a look at 10 times that she was a great mom...
My favorite Gilmore Girls episode is the season one episode called "Rory's Birthday Parties." That's right, Rory has not one but two sixteenth birthday bashes, and they are both the total opposite of each other.
Rory's grandma (and Lorelai's mom) Emily threw a stuffy and formal event, but then Lorelai threw Rory exactly the kind of party that she wanted. It was really fun and the whole town was there. Rory got to celebrate in style with a new laptop and a cake with her face on it. This was one time that Lorelai was a great mom because she worked so hard to throw a great gathering (and she totally succeeded).
As any mom knows, watching your kid start a very tough school can be a big adjustment for the whole family. When Rory starts at the fancy private school Chilton at the beginning of the series, she doesn't do as well as she usually does.
Lorelai stays up with Rory all night to help her study for an English test, and she's seriously #momgoals. The material is so hard, but Lorelai is a good sport about it and does what she can to help her daughter succeed. Every mom can relate to helping with homework for sure, even when it's super late and you're tired.
Mtv.com notes that Lorelai was a great mom when Rory experienced her first breakup and Lorelai taught her how to "wallow." Fans know that this was a wonderful moment in this mother/daughter relationship. Rory wants to wake up early and run all kinds of errands, but Lorelai shows her that eating junk food and getting over your heartbreak is the way to go here.
Moms know that it's hard to see your child going through something, but you want to be there for them however you can. It's sweet to watch Lorelai help Rory get through her first breakup and is a refreshing reminder that even if your teenager refuses help at first, they will eventually want a shoulder to cry on.
I have never been to a school dance (probably because I changed schools so many times growing up) but everything that I know comes from movies and TV. I know the Gilmore Girls season one episode "Rory's Dance" like the back of my hand and this was another instance when Lorelai was such a great mom.
Even though Lorelai seems to have thrown out her back and could barely move or get off the couch, she still made Rory's dress and made sure that it was a wonderful evening. That's the kind of commitment that all good moms have (and it's what kids remember for sure).
Babble loves that Lorelai is so sweet to Rory's best friend, Lane, and says, "When you make the time to get to know your kids’ friends, it also strengthens your relationship with your child."
The best Lane/Lorelai moment is definitely when Lane touches her crush's hair and then runs to Lorelai's house. Rory is at her grandparents' for the night since there was a snowstorm, and Lorelai is with her love interest, Max. Lorelai helps Lane feel better and get over this embarrassing moment, and the fact that she is there for Rory's friend even when Rory isn't home is what the sign of a very good mom.
Many parents would agree that you want your kids to have a better life than you had and things that you didn't. It can be a very motivating factor to work hard and save money and help them dream big.
This is exactly what Lorelai does for Rory. She is always making sure that her daughter can be a success. That means going to an Ivy League college and having a great job.
As Babble quotes Lorelai as saying, “This is it. She can finally go to Harvard like she’s always wanted and get the education that I never got and get to do all the things that I never got to do and then I can resent her for it and we can finally have a normal mother-daughter relationship.”
The most amazing thing about Lorelai (besides her ability to drink a lot of coffee... like a lot of coffee) is how strong she is. She has been raising Rory as a solo mom ever since the beginning. She gets pregnant as a teenager and starts working at an inn so she can provide a life for her and her daughter.
This is the most inspiring thing about watching the show, and any mom can relate to doing anything and everything for your child and giving them a good life. Lorelai gives up her young adult life and doesn't go to college, but you can tell that she wouldn't have it any other way and she loves being a mom.
I remember watching the season four episode "The Lorelais' First day At Yale" with my mom and the two of us crying because watching Rory start college was just so sweet. I love when Lorelai stays the night because Rory is a bit homesick and nervous about this big life change.
Hello Giggles says this was a time when Lorelai was a great mom: "One of the best moments in Lorelai’s history of being the number one mom was when she moved Rory into college. First of all, she bought her anything and everything she needed and wouldn’t leave until she felt confident. Rory then called her back and asked her to sleepover, which in itself was awesome."
Gilmore Girls fans remember the super special season two episode when Rory and Lorelai go on a road trip and visit Harvard, which has been Rory's dream school since she was a kid.
Lorelai really shines as a mom in this episode and we can see that she will do anything that she can to make sure that Rory gets where she wants to go. It's incredibly inspiring to watch Lorelai realize that this will really happen and that while she never got the chance to go to college, Rory will get to. (Yes, this is an episode when I cried a lot, too, and I think that it would get any mom or daughter pretty emotional.)
Moms always hear that the best thing that they can do is make sure that they are talking to their children a lot.
If I could sum Lorelai up, I would say that she's great at keeping the lines of communications open between her and Rory. She is always there for Rory no matter what. She would literally drop anything to help her daughter, and that is something that moms can relate to, whether they are solo moms like Lorelai or they are married with more than one child. When it comes to supporting your child, moms can look to Lorelai and think, "She's got this parenting thing down."
And here are 10 times when Lorelai wasn't a great mom...
Even though Lorelai is a great mom, there are some times when many moms would agree that she should have made a different choice. One example is when Lorelai needs to fix her house and she won't get help from her parents.
Lorelai is very stubborn and doesn't ever want help from her parents even when it would help her and Rory.
As this writer said on Zimbio, "I started to get an idea of just how bad Lorelai’s independent streak is when her Stars Hollow house gets damaged by termites and she can’t secure the financing necessary for the repairs."
Rory and Lorelai are well-known for having movie nights with lots of junk food. One time when Lorelai isn't the best mom is when she invites Dean, Rory's crush (and, later, her first boyfriend/first love) over to join them.
While moms can understand the instinct, they can also see how this would be really embarrassing for Rory. And as every mom of a teenage girl knows, you never want to embarrass or upset them and it's a very trying time for everyone. This definitely wasn't the best mom move. She had good intentions, sure, but it was pretty awkward at first.
According to People, one of the times when Lorelai wasn't the greatest mom ever was when she takes Rory to her first day at her new private school, Chilton, and she isn't wearing the kind of outfit that she should be.
She literally wears a pink t-shirt, jean shorts, and cowboy boots. Would any mom wear this to their kid's first day of school? No, definitely not. It's hard to imagine any mom wearing this anywhere, really. Lorelai says that it's laundry day and she forgot her fancy outfit, and moms get that sometimes things happen, but at the same time, this wasn't the best thing to do.
Lorelai may be there for Rory 24/7 but she also dates Rory's English teacher, Max, which many moms would agree isn't something that you should be doing. It would be awkward and some kids would get upset about this.
This writer puts it perfectly on Zimbio: "My first inkling that Lorelai wasn’t actually Mom of the Year from 2000 to 2007 was during the fifth episode of Season 1, when she starts dating Max. Lorelai sets all these “rules” to keep Rory at a safe distance from the men she dates — and then breaks those rules by forcing Rory to greet Max at the door because she isn’t finished getting ready upstairs."
Lorelai Gilmore is known for drinking a lot of coffee and also for eating a lot of junk food. She and Rory eat tons of chocolate and candy and any kind of junk food that you could imagine, and they also go to Luke's diner a lot where they are eating burgers and pancakes and donuts.
Hello Giggles says, "Lorelai never harped on Rory to eat right" and that's true. Many moms wouldn't want their kids to eat mostly junk food and would want to encourage healthy eating and a love for vegetables (or at least a tolerance of vegetables).
Well and Good has an article about whether this TV mother and daughter are too close, and some people seem to wonder that.
This is definitely a subjective and personal thing. While one mom will say that it's great to be best friends with your child, especially as they get older and become teenagers and young adults, another mom will say that you need more boundaries than that and you need to act more like a parent. Since some people might think that Lorelai needs to be a bit stricter or more formal sometimes, this could be a time when she's not the greatest mom.
Even if you don't get along with your parents or other family members, once you have a child, you know that you have to bring the family together. It's possible that your child will have a much better relationship with your mom and dad than you do.
As Bustle says, "is it really fair for Lorelai to consistently express such hatred for her parents and put in little to no effort to make things right? "
Many moms would forget about their own family problems and do their best to help everyone get along. Lorelai always complains about her parents and fights with them sometimes, even though she knows that Rory is pretty close with them, so that is another time when Lorelai isn't the best mom.
Many would agree that Lorelai often acts like more of a kid than Rory does. There are moments on the show when Rory is studying and Lorelai wants to get ice cream. It's funny, sure, but moms might wonder about this.
As Mom.me puts it, "First off, Lorelai Gilmore, who had seemed the epitome of cool-mom to me, now seemed like a teenager who just. wouldn't. grow. up. Lady, you have a teenager daughter of your own now. It's time to stop pretending you're ultra-cool and accept that you are the parent. And it's not darling when your daughter Rory has to step up and keep you in line—it's just sad when a child has to play the parent role."
It's hard when your parents split up and then keep dating off and on. You don't know what to expect or what's going on. You always hope that your parents will get remarried or get back together, so the fact that Lorelai dates Rory's dad, Christopher, on and off throughout the show seems a bit confusing. Is this really something that a good mom would do?
It seems like Lorelai should figure this out sooner than she does, at least for Rory's sake. While matters of the heart can be complicated, this situation seems like it would be very hard on the kid.
I could never imagine not talking to my mom for months, and since we're as close as this TV duo is, it seems strange that Rory and Lorelai go months without contact. As People says, one of Lorelai's less than amazing mom times is when she and Rory don't talk for months after Rory gets in trouble.
It's hard to see that this would be a good thing for a mom to do, and this argument goes on for much longer than it should. Moms watching this season of Gilmore Girls would definitely think, "What happened? Why can't they get along?"
This goes to show that while Lorelai is a great mom, no one is perfect, but at the end of the day, we know that she loves her daughter and would do anything for her, just like any good mom.