I've been a mom long enough that I no longer find it too difficult to take care of my kids, but I find it really hard to do anything else in my adult life.I struggle to make meals every single night and always forget to wash my face. I easily fall behind on our laundry and can barely bring myself to fold it within a reasonable time frame.
More often than not, there is something dirty in our sink. I have to step over Legos and character figures that cover my living room floor on the daily. I certainly don't sleep enough, and at this point, it feels like I never will again.
Some days I forget to eat or just have little urge to take the time to fix myself a meal and just snack. My time seems so limited even now both my kids are in school full days. The days I'm not outside the home, I'm struggling to catch up on the articles you see here.
Recently, I've been at my kid's school volunteering for entire days and helping in classrooms two to three days a week. Those hours have really been adding up for me.
There really aren't enough hours in the day to do it all and with me adjusting to being home a lot less, I have really struggled with keeping up even more. Working moms...please be gentle with me. I knew all along that working outside the home and then being expected to still do most of the childcare and daily tasks when home, was exhausting. I just hadn't been there yet myself.
I was deep in the trenches of being home with a baby and then two babies. It was a different type of challenge where there was no escape or monetary benefits for my hours spent making bottles, changing diapers, picking up the same mess over and over, and being a target of multiple tantrums multiple times a day. I knew being a mom would be a challenge, and it certainly is, but it all came very naturally to me overall.
I do it with pride, but just takes up so much time. Isn't that the definition of motherhood? The balance of motherhood and taking care of myself is my struggle. My kids aren't really difficult for me. We certainly have our moments, but so far it's all been manageable.
Of course, I can say that now that I'm years removed from multiple night wake-up and toddler temper tantrums. We have challenges of a new sort and I just deal better.
As for my children, especially compared to me, they're very well taken care of. Their clothes are cleans, and their socks almost always match. They have shoes that fit, and boots, coats, gloves and snow pants for the upcoming winter. They get regular hair cuts and annual doctor's exams when needed. I serve them breakfast every morning while simultaneously making them lunches which always include something healthy. We also have them in extracurricular three days a week because they like it.
I will be ashamed to admit it, but they have more toys than necessary, and I have a tendency to spoil them a little most days. I enjoy doing all of this for them and want to do it. I try to put them bed at a good time every night and limit their sugar intake.
I'm happy to care for most of their needs at this age and stage in life. They are children after all who didn't ask to be here, and children need their psychical, emotional, and mental needs met.
I plan a meal every night, even if I don't cook and have our calendar memorized well. I check my kids backpacks every day in case something needs to be returned, and then I turn it in promptly. I have a calendar of weekly events for them but not myself just yet.
When it comes to my children, I'm really on top of it. I'm so on top of it, that I can't keep up on myself. Kids really do need all of us and this is where my sacrifice comes in. Still, I know it doesn't need to be this way and that I matter too.
I really like the saying, "You can't pour from an empty cup." I think of this when I call myself lazy for watching a movie on a day off or take a short nap before cooking dinner. I really had no clue as a child how hard being an adult would be, and I didn't know the full commitment of being a good mom. It's more than the kids. It's everything else I do as well. If I all had to worry about was the kids, I wouldn't be typing this up at midnight with plans to unload my dishwasher before bed.