Societal gender norms can be detrimental to everyone, and we've been fighting against them for years. This idea that men are powerful and more intelligent and should go out and support their family while women are more suited to being a wife and mother is incredibly antiquated. Women are a force to be reckoned with in the workforce, and men are not only capable but quite good at being the nurturer and caregiver at home. But boys and men are exposed to toxic masculinity at every turn, from pop culture to their own familial traditions. Just look at how men are portrayed in movies: successful, powerful men are ruthless and often rely on bullying and intimidation to get ahead.
Unfortunately, men who don't conform to the typical masculine ideals in the workforce are often penalized for straying from those gender norms. But while men who display vulnerability, kindness, and empathy in their professional lives may face backlash, these qualities help them be more successful in their home lives.
David Mayer is a professor of business at the University of Michigan. He recently published an article discussing this dichotomy, called “How Men Get Penalized For Straying From Masculine Norms”. According to Mayer, the way men are socialized to behave at work leads to displays of aggression, competitiveness, and domination. Most importantly, they're taught to not be feminine. But research shows that women leaders tend to be more successful, because they possess the typically "feminine" qualities like empathy, sensitivity, and good listening skills. Sadly, many men have few female role models at work, partly because the masculinity-dominated culture makes them less likely to support gender equality in their workplaces.
At home, however, it's a different story. Adhering to traditional gender roles at home can be incredibly problematic; eschewing those norms for a more egalitarian household demonstrates immediate and positive results. Research shows that relationships where the workload is equally distributed have the highest levels of satisfaction. And equally distributed can mean a lot of things! It doesn't necessarily mean split right down the middle. We all have our strengths, and taking on the jobs at home that play to those can be beneficial. But no job within the family (aside from say, giving birth or breastfeeding) is more masculine or feminine. Men can change diapers and have tea parties, just as well as women can mow the lawn and fix the leaky faucet.
We teach our girls that adopting some typically "masculine" qualities, like competitiveness or being tough, is good and even encouraged. But we need to do more to teach our boys that adopting feminine qualities is equally good, and encourage them to be sensitive, empathetic, and more caring. Boys who accept this as normal grow up to be men to take these qualities out into the world.