Any expectant mother who has ever struggled with how to handle guests in the delivery room, and any soon to be grandmother who is wondering what her place is in the delivery room, definitely needs to read this post.
Many women have very firm wishes about who they want present when they deliver their child. For some they only want their spouse or partner present, while others like to welcome friends and family to witness the birth. It doesn't matter what you choose, what does matter is that the mother's wishes are followed.
One soon to-be grandmother recently wrote about her experience of being asked by her daughter to leave the delivery room, and her response isn't what we usually hear.
Redditor u/Martella71 recently wrote a post titled, "My daughter kicked me out of the delivery room..." and many assumed by the title that she would be upset. Her response however was the exact opposite, and the example many expectant mothers may need to show their own mothers and mothers in-law.
The poster wrote that she and her daughter had initially planned for her to be in the delivery room, but when the time actually came, things changed. She wrote that she noticed that her daughter looked as though she wanted to say something to her, but held back.
"I asked if she wanted me to go, and give them some privacy. She breathed an audible sigh of relief and said yes, and when she started to apologize, I told her not to. I gave both her and my son-in-law a hug, and went home to sleep. In the morning I saw a text from her that she was still in labor, so I went over to her house to feed her dogs and let them out."
"I’ve been here cleaning and preparing freezer meals since then, and when I’m done I’ll clean up the kitchen, feed the dogs again, and be on my way. When my grandchild is born, they’ll let me know. I’ll only come to the hospital if they ask, and I certainly won’t come here unless they ask."
She noted that while googling "what to do for daughter while she’s in labor" she saw endless stories of "overbearing grandmothers," and vowed never to be one herself. Instead she chose to stay at her daughters house, make her some much needed freezer meals and take care of her animals.
Many wrote in the comments praising the self-aware grandmother for knowing her role and not pushing herself on her daughter and son in-law during such a special time between them.
"Thank you for being respectful and supportive of your daughters boundaries. They were going through a tough and joyful moment and you didn’t take advantage," wrote one commenter.
Another wrote how she wished her own mother could have been as respectful.
"Thank you on behalf of your daughter for being the kind, supportive, understanding mom and grandma I certainly wish I had during/after labor. I am 4 Months PP and my relationship with my mom is still struggling from the tantrum she threw at the hospital the day my daughter was born and we were very close previously. She will look back and appreciate your support and help to make her labor and delivery smoother!"
Many women make plans prior to delivery about who they want in the labor and delivery room, but plans can change and everyone needs to be respectful if a laboring mother changes her mind.
Kudos to this mom and grandmother for realizing that it wasn't about her, and for respecting her daughters wishes.