Everyone knows what mom-shaming is and how ridiculous it is and now it seems that nanny-shaming is on the rise as well. Moms are often shamed by other sanctimommies who feel entitled to judge other mothers on how they parent their children, but a recent post shaming a nanny for how she was doing her job is causing an uproar among parents and hired caregivers.
The New York Post recently wrote about a situation where parents Randy Howk and his wife, Elle Sherman, together the parents of two girls, 4-year-old Ariah, and 9-month-old daughter, Alexandra received texts alerting them to a social media post regarding their nanny. Someone had posted a picture of their nanny, known as C to the Facebook group NYC Moms — Upper East Side shaming C for how she cared for Ariah and Alexandra. According to the NYP, the caption of the picture read, "This nanny … kept a baby tied in a stroller for two hours and her older sister, Aria, [sic] unattended in the playground today,” the caption read. “Please tell their family.”
Howk told The Post that he and his wife were shocked when they were first alerted to the post about their nanny, but decided to wait until the following day to discuss it with C.
“Coincidentally, while they were at the playground, C sent us a snapshot of Alexandra asleep in her stroller, almost identical to the one [that was] posted,” Howk said. “At the time, we thought, ‘It’s good that she’s taking a nap.’ She was safely harnessed, not ‘tied in.’ ”
After C assured the couple that she would never neglect their children, they felt reassured. But as The Post points out, this is shedding a light on the fact that nanny shaming is becoming increasingly prevalent. These posts are often shared to other Facebook groups which have tens of thousands of members and are then further shared on other groups.
Grace Lee is a 25-year-old nanny who told The Post that this isn't unusual behavior at all. "It happens a lot," Lee said. “Nannies are increasingly afraid in case they are going to be called out for some perceived infraction.” She added that the images are often misleading and cause serious issues for the women who are being shamed.
“So many assumptions are made after chance encounters,” Lee says. “How do these posters even know the woman is a nanny and not the mother? African-American and Caribbean women are more often assumed to be nannies, while white women are not," she noted. “As an Asian, I got lucky because the last few kids I was looking after were mixed-race,” she continues. “As an American citizen, I can stand up for myself. But lots of other nannies can’t. One misunderstood post could cost them their livelihood.”
There are many arguments on both sides of the debate, with some stating they are only trying to act in the best interest of the child, while others think individuals should mind their own business.
As for Howk and Sherman, they chose to believe C and asked the original poster to delete her comment, but unfortunately, it had already been screenshot and shared numerous time that the damage was already done. In turn, Howk posted the woman's own profile on other sites and even contacted her new employer “to let them know that their new employee tried to sabotage the career of a young woman.” Although the employer didn't respond, Howk told The Post, “She got a taste of her own medicine.”