Getting remarried when you have children can be a challenge. While you may be extremely clear about your needs and expectations, your new spouse's feelings may change. When you're faced with a difficult situation with your new spouse and your kids, what do you do? That's what one woman wanted to know when her husband demanded that she move out of state. The problem? She can't move her children out of state.
In a now deleted Reddit, the wife explains that due to her custody agreement with her children's father she can't leave the state. They share custody of the children equally, and she has no real reason to change that. Clearly, she and her ex have a very successful co-parenting relationship, and the children have a good relationship with their father.
Her current husband knew of this when he entered a relationship with her. So his sudden demand and the allegedly urgent need to leave the state has her confused. Of course she loves her new husband, but like most parents, her children's needs come first.
Her children are only 8 and 10 years old, and she writes, "When we got married, it was a given that I'd be here until the kids graduate school."
But even though he knew that, her husband doesn't seem to care. He continues to tell her that as soon as he can find a job out of state he's going. But it goes beyond that, he is actively applying for jobs out of state knowing his wife can't leave her children. "My husband tells me that if I really love him and put our marriage first, I'd fight to take the kids from their dad," she wrote. It hardly seems fair to force her to choose between his happiness and the happiness of her young children.
She posed a very important question, "what kind of mom takes her kids away from their dad for no good reason?" Aside from putting her children through a lot of emotional trauma, there's the legal ramifications. Would it be wise to go through all the court dates and legal fees just to leave town? What if she lost custody of her children? It seems that she was pretty resolute in her decision not to leave.
Since the original post has been deleted, we have no way of knowing what her resolution was. But from the comment section it is very clear that she is no way in the wrong. Her new husband is being selfish, and as some commenters suggested, there is more at play. We wish we knew more, but hopefully she is able to do what's best for her and her kids.