From pestering to perfect – Moms face it all when it comes to their partners.
It’s great when a mom has support from her significant other. Since she’s going through quite the transition after delivery, she needs additional help as the postpartum days progress. She may be sore and uncomfortable and not be able to move as quickly. She may feel feverish from clogged milk ducts or have to tend to her C-section scar often. No matter what the situation is, Moms need that additional help, and having someone there to provide that is a blessing.
However, that blessing can easily break when they do something Mom just can’t stand.
Moms are human. Therefore, Moms feel emotions. Moms get frustrated and annoyed and upset when other people do things that aren’t to their liking. This goes for absolutely every single person on this planet. Truthfully, it’s a good thing people react and feel these ways because it is what makes people unique and interesting. However, there are sometimes little quirks that bring a person to their breaking point and when that pet peeve occurs, it can be enough to make a mama explode.
On the other hands, there are things people do that make mamas impressed beyond belief. When she sees her partner taking control of a parenting task and doing it remarkably, she may become jealous, envious, and overjoyed all at the same time. Those moments usually overrule those pet peeves Mom was stressing over before, because she realizes how lucky she is to have the support.
20 “He Is Quick To Discipline.”
Discipline can be a tricky topic for many parents. Though there are lots of couples who are on the same page, there are also many who simply aren’t. Therefore, it often takes time for parents to weed out what will work and what won’t. And this little discipline “game of gardening” can be pretty frustrating at times.
“He is quick to discipline without finding out why they had done whatever it is they had done,” explains Bree Hudson, mama of three.
It is usually easier to jump into discipline than it is to take a step back, calmly confront your children, and look at the big picture. This can be a dilemma for many couples and is something that often takes years to get “right.”
19 Co-Sleeping Chaos
“My ex co-sleeps with my son. Drives me nuts,” says frustrated mama of one, Heather Dianne. “Makes it a struggle for me when he’s with me.” When one parent is doing one thing and the other is doing something else, finding some sort of balance can be tricky.
Co-sleeping can be a tough topic for parents – especially when co-parenting from different houses is the family dynamic.
What one parent thinks is best may not be what the other thinks is best and since both parents are no longer living together. Therefore, they may not see exactly what goes on behind those other closed doors. This can make breaking a habit an even tougher situation – and definitely a pet peeve grow.
18 “Always Saying No.”
The word “no” can cause quite a bit of controversy in the parenting kingdom. While some parents strictly are against using it, others use it constantly, without second thought. However, one thing many can agree on is if the word is being used, there is a concrete reason behind the usage. Well, most of the time.
“Him always saying ‘no’ without actually hearing what they’re asking first,” mama, Toni Vadala, says of her biggest “partner pet peeve.”
Facing the word can be frustrating, but facing a loved one who uses it without thinking twice can be even tougher to handle.
17 “I Tend To Pick Up On Her Signals More Than He Does.”
“Our parenting styles are very similar, but because I’m the stay-at-home parent, I tend to pick up on her signals more than he does,” explains Alyssa Kurtzworth, mom of one. “I know when she’s sleepy, hungry, bored. Usually, I can avoid a tantrum and he usually keeps trying different things until he eventually gets it right – and there are usually tears.”
It can be tough and, sometimes even irritating, watching your significant-other try desperately to soothe your little one and not have the luck you have. When you spend so much time with your baby, you know their routine, emotions, quirks, and personality better than anyone else. This doesn’t mean your partner doesn’t. It just means it may take them a little more time to see certain things with as much clarity as you can.
16 Focusing On Phone Instead Of Baby
“When I ask him to watch the baby while I go do something (like cook or whatnot) he doesn’t actually watch him,” explains Chelsea Renee Swan, mom of one. “He assumes he’s okay, or watches TV/his phone while the baby is about to fall or is chewing on something he shouldn’t.”
This is a reality faced by many parents. Though it is a well-known pet peeve of many parents, it also can happen to Mom herself once she feels as though she has gotten into a groove. Technology is a huge part of our current world – and will only continue to grow. Finding ways to set aside the phone or tablet when the baby needs extra attention must happen.
Scrolling through that news feed can wait.
15 That Darn Snooze Button
Many moms have cat-like reflexes when it comes to hearing their little one in the middle of the night. Even though their partners may have this ability as well, it is usually the mama who hears that late-night cry. So when Mama is finally asleep and hears her partner’s alarm continue to go off every five minutes, she has a right to get agitated.
Especially if it wakes the baby up every single time the snooze button is pushed.
“My biggest pet peeve is when he snoozes his alarm five times in the morning,” says Ashley Hopkins VanHusen, mom of one. “Because every time it goes off, he wakes the baby up.” Sleep is precious for both parents and their little one. Therefore, the sound of an alarm following by the whine of a baby is often not the best way to start the day.
14 “Discipline Is Like Pulling Teeth.”
Finding a comfortable meeting ground for discipline can be tough for new parents. Even if you have months to discuss what you want to try with your child, when it comes time to test it out – it may not go entirely as planned. When Mom is the primary caregiver, it can get frustrating when she has working strategies, but her partner isn’t catching on as hoped.
“Getting him to keep up with the rules and discipline is like pulling teeth,” says mom of two, Stephanie Newman. It takes time, patience, and self-discipline (on the parents’ part) to find good discipline strategies. Until then, the pet peeves may linger.
13 Forgetting To Clean The High Chair
With twins come double the mess – as well as double the paper towels and baby wipes to clean up after them. Since our girls started eating more solid foods, we find peas and peaches smeared into the high chair pad and the crevices in the tray. Since it takes a lot of time to prepare the bottles and food, clean the bottles and dirty dishes, and clean the girls and their bibs, sometimes the high chair cleanliness gets pushed aside.
Since I care for my twins during the day, I have gotten obsessive about making sure there aren’t crumbs or pieces of food left in their seats. However, though my boyfriend is terrific with the girls, he tends to forget about the high chair. He does a great job cleaning their dishes, their hands, and face... but always forgets the high chair.
Don’t forget the chair.
12 Not Making “Burp Breaks” Happen
When new parents are trying to figure out feedings, chaos can occur. Whether a baby is breastfeeding or bottle-feeding, figuring out when to stop for burp and breathing breaks can be stressful. No new parent wants their little one feeling unwell during a feeding.
So, when a new mama thinks she has a good system down and her partner isn’t sticking with it – the claws can come out.
“My husband lets him continue to drink out of his bottle when he is coughing. Silly husband,” Shelbe Kamholtz, mom of one, says of her husband’s antics. Even though it can be laughable at times, when reality sets in, Mom steps in. “That boy needs to take a break and burp!
11 “How Long It Takes him To Get Out Of Bed.”
“I think my biggest pet peeve is how long it takes him to get out of bed and ready to help calm our little one down. Especially in the wee hours if I know he’s not awake from hunger and I want to tag my husband in to catch a few extra winks of sleep before our little one does get hungry,” admits mom of one, Alicia Marie.
“I’d honestly probably be able to get back to sleep faster if I just go up and took care of our little guy, but sometimes movement is just so demotivating."
So many mothers relate to how demotivating movement can be – especially late at night or very early in the morning. When Mom is usually the one to wake up and she wants some assistance, but that assistance is mimicking the pace of an overly exhausted sloth, it gets frustrating.
... And Now 10 Impressive Partner Moments
10 “My Husband Changes A Mean Diaper.”
Diaper changing is a task no parent looks forward to doing. Many parents will tap out when they get a whiff of something going on. Some will even take the time to compare how many diapers they did to the other parent’s diaper count. Though these aren’t admirable traits, many couples have been caught in this reality.
Therefore, when your partner is a professional diaper-changer – give them all the praise in the world.
“My husband changes a mean diaper,” says mom, Shelbe Kamholtz. “He is so fast and my son never pees on him or all over his clothes.” When you find someone who can quickly, cleanly, and safely change a diaper without complaining – never let them go.
9 “Taking Over When I Need Him To.”
“My husband is very good at taking over when I need him to for things like middle of the night feedings or changing,” says mom, Chelsea Renee Swan. When Mama needs a break and her partner is proactive about jumping in, that is a something to be impressed by. This isn’t to say significant others do not clearly see when Mom needs a break. However, sometimes it isn’t always acknowledged as often as many mothers would like.
Parents work hard – both moms and dads (or whoever the significant other in the picture is). Therefore, it is important for parents to work off each other’s energy. When one is feeling exhausted, the other should step in. When one is agitated and needs to step away, the other takes over. When that rhythm starts working, the overall atmosphere becomes more positive.
8 A Professional “Redirector”
According to Very Well Family, “redirection is basically taking an emotionally-charged situation and diffusing it, thereby removing any lingering hard feelings. The energy and hard feelings from a negative situation like a temper tantrum, or channeled elsewhere, or redirected.”
Redirection is a popular method of discipline and even though not all children react well to the method when your partner is able to redirect flawlessly – it may leave a mama in awe.
“He can redirect them so much quicker than I ever could,” says mom, Bree Hudson. “For example, if they want to go out in the sprinkler but we can’t because the baby needs to nap, or something, he will think up something can do in the house and hype it up. It sounds better than the sprinkler in a matter of seconds!”
7 Treating Baby “Like His Own”
“My boyfriend is amazing with my son,” says mom, Heather Dianne. “Treats him like his own.” When a mom sees the beautiful connection her child has with her significant other, that sight is one they never let go of.
With family dynamics always changing, the bond between children and their step-parent, or their parent’s partner, can become incredibly strong. More times than not, children see their parent’s partner as their biological parent – especially if that individual is present often, disciplines appropriately, and supports the little one – and the little one’s mother, of course.
6 “He Can Make Her Giggle And Have Fun Effortlessly.”
“They [Baby and Dad] have the same personality so when I’m out of ideas or energy for entertainment, he can make her giggle and have fun effortlessly,” explains Alyssa Kurtzworth. It takes a lot of a mama to constantly be entertaining, chasing, and making her little one laugh. Even though those moments are beautiful, bonding opportunities, they can also be draining. This may sound sad, but it’s a reality many moms can relate to.
Therefore, when Dad is able to jump in, entertain, and make the baby laugh – it’s priceless. It also allows Mom to realize how lucky she is to have the significant other she has – despite the pet peeves and frustrations that come with relationships and parenting.
5 Use Of Good Calming Strategies
It can be laughable when some parents think about staying calm during moments that test a parent’s patience. When asked the question, “How are you?” many parents may laugh or respond by saying “stressed” or “tired.” Even though parenthood is a terrific, memorable time in a person’s life, staying calm during every second of it isn’t realistic.
“When I tell him to stay calm and to breathe, he does,” says mom, Toni Vadala of her husband during times of tension. “He has finally realized that it helps.” It can be tough stepping in and trying to comfort your partner when they feel in over their heads. However, when they do listen, it’s important to take that moment in and appreciate it.
4 Their Playful Interactions Make Hearts Melt
Though motherhood can be an anxiety-riddled time, it also is filled with immense joy and it’s important to focus on the joy instead of the worries. Sometimes all it takes is watching your partner genuinely and lovingly interact with your little one to make all the stressors in the world disappear. The feelings a mother gets when watching a scene like this playout can be better than any spa date or naptime that is thrown at her.
“Right now she’s not a fan of anyone but me so [dad] can’t do much to help with her because she will just scream,” explains mom, Ashley Hopkins VanHusen. “But when he sits by us and plays with her, my heart melts.”
3 Stepping In When Mom Needs To Mentally Step Out
“I’m thrilled that my husband will scoop our son up when I’m having a rough go with him,” Kira Literalee says.
“Often, it’s an easy fix, such as the baby wanting to play, but I’m too tired. We trade off parenting tasks when either of us needs time to recharge our batteries.”
It’s great to have a go-to system to lean on when those parenting batteries need to find a charging station. It can be emotionally and physically straining on a mom when she finds herself too tired, weak, and on-edge to focus appropriately on her little one. Many moms think they need to be ready to go at all times when it comes to caring for their baby. When a significant other understands when to step in, it takes an emotionally heavy load off a mom’s mind.
2 Clipping Those Teeny, Tiny Nails
The moment I clipped the tip of one of my daughter’s itty, bitty fingers with the nail-clippers, I was over it. I didn’t want to ever touch a nail-clipper again and I just hoped that their nails would stop growing. Of course, as parents know, the nails on infants’ mimic claws. They can be the sharpest, most unexpected little daggers out there and leave accidental marks on not only Mom or Dad, but on themselves.
So, when Dad is able to magically and flawlessly clip those little daggers – take full advantage of every second.
Since my boyfriend showed how perfectly he can trim nails, I have pretty much left that parenting duty to him. I still will bravely take the nail-clippers and clip a few of their nails. However, when he sees me holding the clippers, he often takes over and I couldn’t be more appreciative.
1 “I’m Always Impressed With How Patient My Husband Is.”
Patience is something not many parents have time for. It’s an unfortunate truth, but it’s just one of those parenting realities that come with the territory. When a parent shows tremendous patience during times of tension or stress, it should be deeply admired. Patience isn’t an easy trait to learn. Therefore, when it is recognized, cherish it.
“I’m always impressed with how patient my husband is and how willing he is to help out,” says mom, Alicia Marie. “Even if it doesn’t come naturally. We cloth diaper and although he was nervous at first, he’s really mastered the diaper-changing process.”