Moms are superheroes. They cook and clean and care for kiddos. They keep family units organized and on time and active. They go the extra mile in good times (such as the holiday season) as well as in bad times (like when sickness hits).
That being said, social time for mommy is not always a regular thing, and many women struggle with questions like who to hang out with, where to go, when to find the time and not wanting to leave the house at all. Here are five reasons why it is okay to turn down plans, as well as five reasons to get out there.
10 Say No: Moms Are Tired
As mentioned, moms do so, so, so much. As soon as the first kid is awake, it is non-stop action involving getting meals together, carpooling, doing chores around the house, running errands, getting more meals together then bathing kiddos and trying to get them to go to sleep.
Any job is going to cause mental, emotional and physical exhaustion from time to time, but there are no days off or pause buttons or even real lunch breaks for mothers. That being said, going out and interacting and forcing eyeballs to stay open may not sound fun to a tired mother!
9 Get Out: It Will Be Worth It
On the other hand, socializing may be worth the effort. Yes, a nap sounds great, but what about happy hour? How about hanging out with a life-long pal? What about catching a movie? How about dressing up for a fancy dinner?
Even if the socializing is not as glamorous and comes in the form of eating junk food with another parent, working out or taking a group trip to Target without the kids, it can lead to a fun time, an outfit that isn’t covered in spit-up and a new experience, such as yummy food or new clothes.
8 Say No: Moms Have Other Responsibilities
Even if mamas find a few extra minutes that could be used for grown-up hang time, there is a never-ending to-do list to think about. There may be older siblings who help out around the house. There may be a partner who does the cooking, the laundry and/or the yardwork. There may even be a babysitter or family member who offers assistance, as well.
A parent’s job is one of the biggest and most important of all, and many women feel guilty about going out. Me time is good, but never feel bad about wanting to put family first.
7 Get Out: It’s Good To Make Time For Friends
The counterargument here, to echo that last sentence, is that it is good to make time for friends. It is even vital to make time for it! Burnout is real, and even women who love doing anything and everything for their children need to interact with people their own age… people who understand them, care about them, build them up, offer a shoulder to cry on and make them laugh.
A person may have a large friend group, one bestie or a few close acquaintances, and any and all of these relationships can lead to meaningful moments.
6 Say No: Moms Need All The Time They Can Get
Let’s say a mother gets through the to-do list early somehow, or that the kids are staying at someone else’s house. Let’s say there is actually time when something is possible. Socializing could take place in this instance… or a mom could savor it all in a different way.
She may watch trashy TV by herself, go on a date with her partner, pick up a hobby, sleep or do additional things around the house, which would have been tough to do with kiddos everywhere. Choosing these things over social interactions is fine!
5 Get Out: It’s Important To Have G.N.O.
Speaking of social interactions, they come in all shapes and sizes and look different for everyone. When it comes to mothers, though, girls’ night out is a necessary event to pencil in regularly.
These girls could be friends from high school. They could be coworkers. They may be fellow moms or not. Whatever the case, getting together with them is healthy. Getting together with them reminds moms that there was life before kids and that there can be a fun life with kids and with G.N.O. as well!
4 Say No: Moms Can Be Picky And Choosy
It is common for mamas not to have friendships, since life revolves around motherhood. However, a socializing opportunity could come up when a parent at school sends an invite, a casual acquiantance at the park recommends that everyone gets together or an old friend comes back to town.
Since all hangouts are going to look varied, it is okay to be picky and choosy. It is okay to only want to hang out with super close people and only once in awhile. It is okay to turn down invitations and ideas. It’s okay!
3 Get Out: It Could Lead To A New BFF
The opposing argument here is that this outing could lead to a new BFF. since it can be hard for mothers to maintain friendships, it is good, at times, to be open to possibilities and to take chances.
Every now and then, RSVP with a yes, take that person up on their suggestion and make time to go out, even if it is with strangers and even if it all feels a little awkward. Back in the day, risks had to be taken to make first friends and to meet potential partners, and that courage is needed in motherhood and could lead to something wonderful.
2 Say No: Moms Can NOT Like Going Out
All of the reasons it is okay to say no have been laid out, except for this final one: Some people just don’t like going out at all. Now, going out isn’t always about drinking late at night, remember. It can be during the day, it can be short and sweet, and it can involve an activity such as coffee or exercising or painting. Whatever it is, it will still require effort.
It will involve small talk. It will require looking somewhat presentable when leaving the house. It will, of course, mean that a mom must leave her house and her family, which she may simply refuse to do.
1 Get Out: It May Encourage Kids To Get Out There, Too
Think about this final reason to get out there, though: Children see and hear everything, and they pick up on their parents’ traits. If a child hears mom say no all the time and sees that she never leaves the house and doesn’t have friends, their child may start doing the same.
If a child hears mom planning outings and sees her hanging out and taking chances, then said kid will feel more comfortable with socializing, friendships and adventures, big and small, that come up in life.