There has undoubtedly been some moment in all of our mom lives where we have felt like everything was falling on our shoulders. Making a scrumptious dinner? Mom can do it. Clean the house? Mom's got that, too. Make all the doctor appointments, breastfeed the baby all night, and attend Friday morning's 7:45am PTA meeting? All mom. But why is that? Why does balance always seem like it's so hard to attain in the household? One mom is over all of this BS and her rant has gone completely viral - for good reasons.
Mom, Zawn Villines, wrote a very relatable Facebook post, venting pretty hardcore about husbands not contributing enough to the day to day things that need done around the household. This epic post of hers gained so much attention from mamas everywhere that at this point it's been shared over 20,000 times. That's a lot of fed up moms.
She starts out by explaining to everyone how she's heard quite a bit of chit chat in all of her parent groups that goes something like: I just gave birth/am up half the night breastfeeding. Why do I have to also make dinner and clean while my spouse watches TV?"
Does that sound familiar? To a lot of moms it did.
And of course, you start asking around and googling to find the right thing to say to your partner or ways to make everything a bit more balanced, and as Villines pointed out, the response is a lot of: "The advice is always the same: Be gentle with yourself. You can't do it all. Parenthood is hard."
So what does she say to this response? "Blah blah blah. I don't know which of you needs to hear this, but I'll give you some better advice: Divorce his ass."
Sometimes there is just nothing that a person needs to hear than the cold hard truth.
"This cultural norm where a man buys his free time with his partner's labor, suffering, and sometimes with the literal destruction of her body is misogyny on steroids.
Men are not innately incompetent or lazy or incapable of doing their fair share. Tell that jackass to get off the golf course, get his ass home, get up in the middle of the night with the baby, and start earning the right to stay married.
And remind him that not all men are this way, and that a dude who doesn't do his fair share is not exactly a prize. He is replaceable. Lazy men who think you should have to work 168 hours a week while they work 40 are easy to find.
If my spouse can pull his weight while litigating police and prison death cases and dealing with the unending horror of our current legal system, then your Johnny Do Nothing husband can manage to get up with the damn baby and stop blaming your postpartum depression on your woman hormones.
If he gets free time and you don't, if he gets to sleep and you don't, if you have to do the grunt work and he doesn't, guess what. It's not an accident. He knows exactly what he is doing. Division of labor imbalances in marriage are a form of spousal abuse.
Stop making excuses for shitty men."
Wow. Just wow.
If you take a second to read through the comments you can see that she was praised by pretty much every mom that read the story, opening up about their personal struggles about the labor balance in our society as a whole.