We can all agree that babies are beautiful, right? They're babies! They're sweet and soft and squishy. Sometimes they have wild hair, or no hair. Babies can have full, long eyelashes, or big bright eyes. Dimples and gummy smiles and always some sort of food on their face. When you focus on the simple perfection of babies, it's sort of breathtaking, to be honest. But as perfect as babies are are, parents (and let's face it, all adults) are decidedly imperfect. We carry our own baggage and insecurities and fears. And sometimes, we pass those insecurities and fears onto our kids, intentionally or not. For a lot of parents, it comes on the form of worrying about unrealistic beauty standards and how our kids fit into them. Most of us try really hard every single day not to pass our own crap onto our kids, but occasionally, we hear a story like this and realize there's still work to be done.
A mom posted on the Am I the As*hole? thread of Reddit, to ask whether or not plucking her 15-month-old's eyebrows made her an as*hole. Oh boy, this one is a doozy.
There's a lot to unpack here. The mom shared that her daughter, who's now 15 months old, has always been hairy. Lately, the hairs between her brows have darkened, giving her a bit of a unibrow. So the mom decided, FOR AESTHETIC REASONS, to pluck her daughter's eyebrows while she slept. She says if her daughter woke up, she would stop, and was able to do the whole area in a couple of days (which leads us to believe her daughter woke up while she was being groomed, plucking hurts!).
A friend of hers noticed her daughter's groomed brows, and the mom mentioned she'd been plucking them. Her friend was rightfully horrified. This isn't a tween or teen we're talking about here - she's barely a toddler! The only one who cares about the little girls "aesthetic appearance" is her mother, which is a damn shame.
Redditors told the mom she was the as*hole, by and large. Many of them shared heartbreaking stories of years of insecurity and poor self-esteem brought on by the ways their own moms would focus on and manipulate their appearance when they were kids. This woman's daughter might not remember having her eyebrows plucked, but it suggests a behavior in mom that could get worse as the girl gets older. First it's the toddler eyebrows.
Then what? Her weight? Her body shape? Her teeth? Babies and children should not be held to (ridiculous) adult standards of beauty. That baby doesn't care about her eyebrows; when and if she does, then that's when the mom should have the conversation with her and come up with a plan. But plucking your toddler's eyebrows because you don't like them is taking it too far.