Finding out she's pregnant is always a life-changing moment. She is about to become a parent and her entire life is going to shift. Nine months may seem like a long time to prepare at first, but moms-to-be quickly realize how much needs to get done in order to properly prepare for a newborn. However, finding out you are pregnant with twins changes everything. All of a sudden you have to buy two of every baby product and make room for two babies in your nursery. You start thinking about how much work it’s going to be to take care of two crying newborns.
Getting pregnant with twins is undeniably overwhelming. Even if you are beyond excited about this parenting adventure, it can be a little scary at the same time. Twins make a mom’s life way harder, especially in the early years of their lives. However, twins can actually make parenting easier in some cases as well. It’s all about perspective and how you look at the situation. Whether you are currently pregnant with twins, already gave birth to them, or just curious, here are 10 ways that raising twins is harder than a single newborn, and 10 ways it’s easier.
20 You’re Thrown Into Parenthood
While you could argue that new moms, in general, are thrown into parenting, moms of twins have it much worse. Everything is amplified so it doesn’t take long for the mom to become a pro. Changing diapers, burping, midnight feedings, and nursing all usually take some time to get used to. However, moms of twins don’t really have the luxury of time. They are getting double the practice which definitely makes them learn the ropes of motherhood faster, but it also causes them to become exhausted much quicker as well. Parenthood is scary enough on its own but having twins can make the entire process overwhelming.
19 You Don’t Have Enough Room For Everything
Twins are something that you can’t really plan for. Usually, couples are actively trying to get pregnant are still only expecting one baby to be created. Therefore, finding out you have two buns in the oven can really throw a wrench in your plans. When couples are trying for their first baby, it is usually when they are just starting out in life. You’ve managed to afford a one bedroom apartment and plan on using the walk-in closet as a nursery and changing station. Finding out you are pregnant with twins will make you realize how small your house is really quick. Unfortunately, most couples who get pregnant really don’t have the room or space for twins.
18 They Get Sick At The Same Time
Having more than one child, in general, will definitely make cold season something to dread. As a mom, you will constantly be telling your children to cover their mouths or wash their hands or not to put their fingers in their mouths. Taking care of a sick kid is never fun. Unfortunately, when it comes to twins, they usually get sick at the same time. This is often because twins have the same friends, are around the same people, and might even be in the same class in school. If there is a cold or flu going around, your twins will probably come down with it at the same time.
17 One Twin Wakes Up The Other
Usually, as a new mom, when you finally get your baby down to sleep you can sneak away quietly and as long as there are no loud noises, you will have some time to yourself. However, when you have twins, one crying baby will wake up the other one. Since it’s hard to get both babies to sleep at the exact same time, you are probably going to think you’re in the clear just to hear crying again immediately. And, when both babies are crying at the same time, you will likely want to cry yourself. If you are able to put the twins in different rooms you might be able to solve this problem, but as I mentioned earlier, most couples don’t have the extra room.
16 Even Less Down Time
Downtime or time for yourself is something that any mom struggles to get. However, being a mom of twins will cut that time that you would have had in half. According to Verywellfamily.com, finding time to remember your individuality and your old self is so important as a mom, and especially as a mom of twins. It’s so easy for your identity to change and simply become a ‘mom.’ However, don’t let the early stages of parenting twins discourage you from prioritizing yourself. It may be hard to find time at first, but once you make it a priority, you’ll be able to figure it out.
15 Double The Expenses
Raising a child is expensive! On average a single child costs a middle-income family about $12,000 in the first year. However, according to Learnvest.com, that number is doubled to over $24,000 in the first year for twins. It makes sense that it would cost twice as much when you double the number of babies you're taking care of. People always try to be funny by saying “two for the price of one,” but that couldn’t be further from the truth. Twins do not come for the price of one and it can actually cause some hard times for couples who weren’t financially prepared for twins.
14 Everyone Talks To You
While this might not sound like a bad thing at first, it will get old very quickly. Whether you are just trying to rush through the grocery store or waiting in line for coffee in the morning not looking presentable, there will be a lot of moments where you would rather go unnoticed. Unfortunately, with twins, this just doesn’t seem possible. Everyone wants to stop and talk to you. They want to know their names, if they are identical, if they are hard to manage, and so much more. According to Mom.me, having twins opens the floodgates of dumb questions and it gets annoying fast.
13 Milestones Are Constantly Compared
Many moms often have to fight the urge to compare their baby to other babies the same age. They know that every child grows and develops differently, but at the same time, every mom wants their child to be advanced or at least not behind. When it comes to raising twins, you constantly have another baby mirroring each one’s developments. It can be really difficult not to compare milestones like talking, walking, potty training, and learning to read and write. According to TheBump.com, it is important to remember that each twin is an individual with their own unique personality and strength.
12 Sibling Rivalry Starts In Utero
When my mom was younger she thought she only wanted one kid because she was so afraid of the sibling rivalry that would occur with multiples. However, three kids later and she handled our sibling fights like a pro. But, that doesn’t mean it wasn’t difficult at times. Most families are able to adjust to life with one kid before they bring another one into the world. They can sit the firstborn down and explain how things might change a little when their sibling arrives. However, with twins, the parents are divided from the beginning and the fighting for attention and space starts when the twins are literally in utero. Twins never have a moment where sibling rivalry isn’t an option, which can make the life for mom even harder.
11 They Leave At The Same Time
While motherhood is hard and exhausting, it is also emotionally draining. Sure, kids can be a handful, but most moms would agree that they wouldn’t want it any other way. However, when you give birth to twins, every hard and emotional milestone happens for your children at the same time. They leave the house for preschool at the same time, they have their first sleepovers at the same time, summer camps, high school graduations, and moving away for college all happen at once. At least for my parents, having three kids allowed them to recover from one leaving at a time. If we all left at once, their empty nest syndrome would have been too much for them!
10 Two Babies, One Pregnancy
On the other hand, there are some perks to having twins. It might sound surprising, but not every woman enjoys being pregnant. Just compare Kim Kardashian’s experience to Kourtney Kardashian’s. Kourtney loved being pregnant and seemed to embrace the nine-month journey like it was nothing. However, Kim had so many issues that she was in constant pain for both of her pregnancies. The luxury of having twins is that you get two babies but you only have to struggle through the nine months of carrying them once. For the women out there who believe pregnancy just isn’t for them but still really want babies, twins might be your answer.
9 Everyone Wants To Help You
While it may be annoying to constantly have people stopping you and asking about your twins, one of the good things about twins is that people realize how overwhelming they can be. Most people assume that couples were only planning for one baby and therefore are more willing to offer help when two babies are involved. According to Verywellfamily.com, help is a necessity for some couples who are having twins. They might even consider hiring people. However, often times friends and family will step in for free and cook your meals, do your dishes, and even clean your house for you. Talk about perks!
8 The Upper Body Strength
Losing that extra baby weight can be difficult after one kid. However, twins actually make it easier because they require more work from you and more physical activity. Moms of twins develop incredible upper body strength because they constantly have a baby in each arm. This is also beneficial because often times women will develop back issues because of the weight of one baby is equally distributed on one side of the body. Not with twins though! Both arms will become equally as strong and a mom of twins will have an amazing body back in no time at all.
7 They Always Have Someone To Play With
Babies and even toddlers take up a lot of your time when they are little, they are constantly wanting someone to play with them. Often times, moms have to stop working, cooking, or cleaning in order to sit down and play cars or dolls with their child. However, one of the luxuries of twins is that they always have a playmate right there for them. Instead of relying on a parent to play with them, they have their twin. This can actually free up some of your time as your twins get older and allow you to accomplish some things on your to-do list.
6 Twins Share Toys
While we established above that having twins is in no way a cheaper deal than just having one baby, there are some toys and items that parents can save money on with twins. For example, if your twins share a room you will only have to buy one television. If you were planning on buying major toys like a basketball hoop or an easy bake oven, you won’t have to buy two of them. There are quite a few toys that twins can share and play together. As parents, you would have likely bought that item anyway, so this way two kids feel like they both got a gift even though you only bought one.
5 Twins Have A Special Bond
According to Twin Pregnancy and Beyond, the bond between twins is unique on so many different levels. They have a built-in best friend and someone who relates to them unlike anyone else in this world. Twins often talk about having a twin telepathy where they can read each other's minds. This may be because they know each other so well that they can literally think for each other. As a parent, watching your children form such a strong and significant bond through life is amazing and one of the most rewarding things that can happen in life. Parenting is hard, but watching your kids support each other is beyond heartwarming.
4 Homework Assignments Are The Same
One of the many jobs that a good parent takes on is helping their kids with homework at night. After a long day of work, usually, moms and dads are exhausted themselves. And yet, they still prioritize school work and good grades for all of their kids. Having multiple kids in different grade levels doing different homework assignments can add up to a lot of extra work and time for you. However, twins often have the same exact homework assignments and are learning the same material. This makes studying and helping out with schoolwork so much easier for the parents because they can help both twins at the same time.
3 Same Sports Teams
Juggling different sports teams and multiple extracurricular activities is one of the hard tasks of parenthood. Both parents can’t be at every sporting event for every kid because they are often times at the same time and on the same weekends. Usually, parents have to split up and one parent will go to a soccer game while the other goes to a basketball game. However, when you have twins that are on the same sports teams, you don’t have to split up. All the practices and games are on the same days, at the same times, and in the same cities. It makes life so much easier and keeps the parents united as well.
2 Family Vacations Are More Fun
There is honestly nothing worse than being the only kid on a family vacation. You have no one to play with you, your parents usually just want to lay out and be boring, and you find yourself alone in the water with nothing to do. However, things usually change if parents have more kids, but when it comes to twins there is never a time where one child has to deal with a lonely family vacation. They always have a friend and a playmate that will do kid stuff with them. This is nice for the parents as well because the twins will occupy themselves and won’t constantly be nagging you to get in the water with them or stop relaxing.
1 The Years Go By Fast
For moms who are raising twins, it can feel like every single day drags on forever. Especially in the early years, you are so exhausted that you often wish it could be bedtime at 2 in the afternoon. However, the good news for moms of twins is that the years go by fast. It may not feel fast in the moment but looking back you will feel like you blinked and your twins will be moving out! So, if you are in the early stages of parenting twins, just know that these tough times don’t last for long. However, also remember to appreciate these moments because they do go by fast and you might actually miss them once they are gone.