Parenting is hard, there's no doubt about it, and parenting teenagers brings on a whole new set of challenges to those who are simply trying to raise good, decent and well adjusted future adults. While it's true that teenagers can be rebellious, lazy and even entitled at times, one mom's method of punishment has caused a very heated debate online, with many calling her behavior child abuse.
A Facebook post that was uploaded by an obviously very frustrated mother has been posted to Reddit where many have chimed in on the mom's self-proclaimed “tough love” method of disciplining her teenage daughter.
In the Facebook post, the mom begins by writing "tough love is all I know how to give!" She writes that she's "busted her butt" to give her daughter and her other children a better life than she had, yet she's fed up with the lack of respect her daughter is showing.
“Plenty of chances - and she still chooses to act a fool at school and at home. Well, this mum has reached her limit!" she writes. “She will learn to appreciate having a nice cozy bed … now that she is sleeping on the floor.”
While the frustrated mom doesn't describe exactly what it is her daughter has done, she does explain that she has removed her daughter's bed from her bedroom, forcing her sleep on a tile floor. She also explains that her daughter will now have a limited wardrobe, consisting of “3 school pants, 3 tops, 3 undergarments, 1 hoodie, 1 jacket and 2 pairs of shoes” for the entire month. Not only will the teen be rotating her school uniform during the week, but she'll have to wear it on the weekends as well, not to mention her mother is forcing her to handwash all her clothes!
“Teenagers nowadays think us parents need to give them all the extra stuff … we sure in hell don’t!” the fed-up mother continued in her rant. “All we need to do is provide the basic needs: a roof over their head and food. They take everything for granted and complain about every little dumb thing.”
While this mom thought her method of self-proclaimed “tough love” would teach her daughter to appreciate all that she had and all that her mother had provided her, the commenters on Reddit felt quite a bit differently, with many accusing the mom of abusing her daughter.
"This isn’t how you get your kid to respect you; it’s how you get them to hate you," wrote one commenter. "They most likely aren’t going to remember the gratitude they were supposed to be learning, only the fear, anxiety and loneliness you caused."
"Being treated like you’re worthless by your own mother doesn’t teach you to respect your mother," wrote another.
Another pointed out that just because her daughter isn't physically abused doesn't mean she's not emotionally abused. "People don't realize emotional/mental abuse is still abuse."
"Tough love is all I know how to give" is one of the saddest things I've ever read," wrote one commenter who is seriously disturbed by the entire post.
Many were shocked that the mom would take a picture of her daughter, in obvious distress, and post it online besides her rant. While there are no rules on how to deal effectively with teens, especially if they're acting out and being disruptive at home, most experts agree that open communication and providing a warm and loving environment helps kids to feel safe to make the mistakes they are inevitably going to make. Most would agree that removing privileges and implementing punishments are an effective way of disciplining a teen as long as the punishments are within reason.
It seems that the majority think this mom has gone way too far and will do more damage to her daughter than good.