Whenever you're preparing for a baby, the thought about how you are going to handle those dreaded changing stations in public bathrooms will probably cross your mind. You might lay a blanket down first or even carry some handy Clorox wipes with you to give it a quick wipe before laying your baby down. Either way, you've got things under control in this department. However, you probably don't think about trying to actually use a public bathroom with kids until you are smack dab in the middle of that horrid experience.
Mom of four, and blogger behind the page Serious Mom Shit, has shared a completely candid post about her recent experience in the restroom with her kiddos and we think that it's pretty darn relatable for us all.
First things first, she explains how there really isn't anything more honest than a child whenever they are in a public restroom, which is her first nugget of truth here. It always seems like they want to share their (or your!) deepest darkest secrets or ask the most inappropriate questions during this period of time. Why couldn't they just do this at home? Who freaking knows?
During her recent trip to a public bathroom, she shares that, "Everyone has to pee, me the most. We go to the public bathroom and look and for the largest stall to cram ourselves in. A double stroller with 2 toddlers and 2 children walking. I bump into literally everything and run into every person standing around, taking toes off of the people who aren't walking fast enough or getting the fuck out of my way. Making my way through the bathroom obstacle course from Hell.
I herd the children into the stall, one by one, using my leg as a barrier and a gate as I push them all inside."
Once inside, I am trying to unbuckle and let loose the tiny ones from the stroller while intermittently yelling “stop unlocking the damn door” only until I silently slip into a psychosis."
All four children squabbled during their potty rotation and then things took a turn for the worst.
"I sit down and I am trying to pee as fast as I can while Micah is crawling around on the floor still (even though he can walk) and he is growling..while Lilah is chiming in with "you farting mommy? is it a fart or just a big poop?” very loudly while there is a whole bathroom full of people.
And guess what happened? Aunt Flow made her arrival. I normally celebrate the arrival of Aunt Flow. It’s typically a glorious day because it lets me know that I have escaped the fate of creating life yet again. My husband had a vasectomy last year and I have an IUD, but, I’m pretty sure this is an impending doom that never goes away until I hit menopause. As I greeted Aunt Flow upon her arrival, the twins LOST THEIR SHIT. I pull the toilet paper out and they shriek in terror with, "OHHHH MY MOMMY IS DYING" "HELP MY MOMMY BECAUSE HER PEEPEE IS BLEEDING TO DEATH" while they are clawing at the door like I have turned into a Zombie coming after them."
UGH. This poor mama!
At least both her and every other woman in that public bathroom got a good chuckle that day - even though hers probably didn't happen until the ride home.