What To Do When Mean Girls Grow Up And Become Moms

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If you're a mom, then you know: there are different types of moms. There's the Pinterest Mom, the Super Mom, the Cool Mom, or the All-Natural Mom. There are so many different categories of motherhood, and it's easy to find yourself identifying with more than one, depending on where you are in your motherhood journey. But there's one type that we should all try to keep from becoming, and avoid if possible: the Mean Girl Mom. You know the ones, right? The moms who bully other moms, who constantly put down their parenting styles and decisions, who pit moms against one another, or who talk about their other mom friends behind their back.

If you ever dealt with a Mean Girl in school, then you know exactly the type of mom she likely grew up to become. It can be hard to deal with the Mean Girl Mom, particularly if you have one in your circle. But these tips can help you handle her nonsense, and eventually kick her to the curb.

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Credit: iStock / Wavebreakmedia

Try not to take it personally

We know it's hard, but remember: it's not you, it's HER. Some people lash out at others when their own lives are filled with unhappiness or discord, and the Mean Girl Mom falls into that category a lot. Just remind yourself that she's overcompensating for her own shortcomings (real or perceived), and her bullying is her way of dealing with her own insecurities.

Engage, but not on her level

You know what bullies crave? Attention and confrontation. She WANTS you to give it back to her as good as she's giving it to you. Fighting and arguing likely isn't going to change her ways, but it will add fuel to her fire and keep her going. By giving in, you're allowing her to take away your power, and that's what they feed on.

Stand up to her, especially in defense of others, but remain calm and collected. Bullies love to see that they're ruffled your feathers. Don't give Mean Girl Mom the satisfaction.

women arguing
Credit: iStock / AntonioGuillem

Understand that she probably isn't going to change

This has worked for her for this long, so why would she stop now? Mean Girl Moms don't care about how their words or actions affect other people, so appealing to her empathetic side isn't going to work. The only way to change is to recognize and own your behavior and actions. Bullies feel like they're entitled or allowed to do what they do, so she very likely won't ever come around.

Find some new friends

Making friends as an adult is hard. Making friends as a mom can be even harder! But there's no reason to stay friends with a Mean Girl Mom, when all she does is bring you down. You're better off without any friends, in that case! Start branching out. Join other mom classes or clubs with your kiddos, and put yourself out there in order to meet new people. If the Mean Girl Mom runs your circle, it's time to find a new one. Meet privately with other moms in your group, and let them know what's going on. Who knows, they very well may join you and you can all leave Mean Girl Mom in the dust and move on together.

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