With her new book Finding Quiet, Jamie Grace, a mom and two-time Grammy-nominated singer, songwriter, and actress shares her journey with being diagnosed with Tourette Syndrome, OCD, ADHD, and anxiety at a very young age. However, the transparent and honest manner that she depicts her journey in her new book does not signify that having these diagnoses has made her a victim to circumstance.
On the contrary, her resilience and hope showcase the heart of a mom and artist who has the heart and spirit of a winner who not quit. Grace does not paint her life story as if it were a fairy tale sprinkled with bouts of struggling with her mental health. With a warm approach and child-like honesty, she shares her truths in a manner that will definitely inspire others who read her book to find hope for their own journeys, and take away some key truths that have helped her along the way.
Jamie actively advocates for joy, wellness, and mental health through her music, film and faith. She wants others to remember these three important things: "You are not alone. Not everyone is going to understand, and that’s okay. It’s okay to ask for help."
In her recent interview with Moms.com, Jamie Grace shares how her Tourette's Syndrome made her sensitive to the emotions of others, how having consistency helps her in parenting her toddler, the importance of having a positive, nurturing support system around you, misconceptions about Tourette's Syndrome and the healing power of art and being creative.
Moms.com: (M) In your new book, Finding Quiet, you are very transparent about your experiences with Tourette's Syndrome, OCD and ADHD. In what ways have your unique experiences shaped the way that you parent?
Jamie Grace: (JG) When I was growing up, my physical tics were far from discreet. Because of this, I was very in tune with the emotions of others as my tics would often times cause strong reactions and have become very sensitive to emotions. Many people may think that sensitivity or even being empathetic are exclusively negative attributes. However, as a mom, that sensitivity becomes compassion and I have noticed a level of patience that I am so grateful to be able to have with my daughter.
Additionally, as someone with different mental health challenges, a lot of my coping in my adult years has been based on rhythms and consistency. Having a toddler doesn’t necessarily lend itself to this model, so I’m grateful for my husband and our family in general for helping me navigate these experiences most new moms face but can be heightened due to my condition.
(M): Your life journey depicts the intersection of faith and medicine. What roles have both faith and medicine played in your mental health and peace of mind?
(JG): Just like with any physical health diagnosis, I have a care plan. I have a few close friends that know the intimate details of my diagnosis and my family has very intentional check-in's with me on a regular basis. After being diagnosed with postpartum depression a few months after my daughter was born, a part of my care plan was to pursue medication and that has been very beneficial to my overall wellness. Whether it is or isn’t a part of my story long-term, I am definitely an advocate for surrounding yourself with people that will encourage you to reach out and get help when you need it. I also encourage being open to conversations of medication with your doctor.
One of my favorite things about my faith journey is how much it centers around community and relationships. My relationship with God is significant to me, because it is a safe place to go in both pain and joy. It isn’t a quick fix, and certainly not a promise of a perfect life, but it is a source of hope and purpose to pursue both joy and peace-- even in times of adversity.
(M): Despite your diagnosis, you’ve gone on to have success in the music industry as a Grammy nominee and Dove award-winning artist. How did being thrust into the spotlight at a young age affect your mental health?
(JG): In the beginning it was everything I could have wanted and more! I was a minor when I jumped into the industry full-time so my mom attended everything with me. I mostly worked with other kids and teens who were also entertainers so in some ways it felt like a summer camp for creative kids that was free and as a bonus you got paid. My family is very close knit, so my dad would join us as much as he could, but as I got older and I no longer had my parents on the road with me, I started to feel the pressure to be the source of joy that my music was and is. While I considered that a privilege, and still do, I was missing the support system that my family had always been. I was overwhelmed by the opinions of strangers, coworkers and my peers regarding my weight, dating life and even my diagnosis, all while being “known” and not knowing who I could trust to talk to about any of it. One of the worst things that you can do, whether you have an anxiety diagnosis or not, is choose to bury the reality of your pain. However, I developed this unhealthy habit to cope just to get by.
My anxiety and stress would build, and there was no safe place to for me to land or a community for me to turn to. I was having panic attacks in response to feeling lonely, constantly and over analyzing who I was and who i wanted to be and anytime I wasn’t touring I would ignore my phone and isolate from my family for days at a time. My mental health began to affect my physical health and suffered from severe acne, constant stomach aches and other issues.
When I was 24 years old, I began to accept how unhealthy I was becoming, and I made a decision to become an independent artist, move into a home by myself and start a very intentional healing journey. I started going to therapy and scheduling regular time to spend with my family and closest friends. A recurring theme in my mental health journey is a reminder that it is not my goal to change circumstances, people around me, or even my diagnosis, but to instead find quiet in my own life so that I can respond in a healthy way to whatever I am faced with.
(M): What has overcoming and pressing through your inner struggles, taught you about resilience and as well as overcoming self-doubt?
(JG): I’ve learned that resilience is a literal journey and that gives me so much daily hope! I find so much freedom in the pursuit of resilience, not only every day but in every moment including the seemingly small ones.
Sometimes success or resilience may look like cleaning an entire house after a really busy and challenging week. But sometimes it shows itself in choosing to make up the bed when it was much easier to leave it undone.
Embracing resilience and the joy of of overcoming as a daily journey that i will forever be experience gives me the freedom to find my confidence in the “small victories” throughout each day. Any moment we overcome self-doubt to make a positive change is a moment that is big enough to celebrate.
(M): There are many misconceptions about Tourette’s Syndrome. Can you share what Tourette’s Syndrome is NOT?
(JG): Tourette Syndrome is not the end. One of the doctors I worked with when I was younger had a significantly low standard for who I could become considering the extent of my tics. I am so grateful that the moment my parents learned of her expectations was the very last appointment that I had with her. Tourette Syndrome can be painful, annoying, complex and even debilitating, but one of the greatest advantages is how loud it is. Whether someone with Tourette has vocal tics or not, we are seldom hidden or quiet. And one thing I have learned about growing up and finding your passion is that the only way you can find your voice is by finding some kind of way to sit, think and breathe in the quiet.
I know this isn’t an official explanation, but I like to say that those of with Tourette, or any other obvious adversity, almost have a cheat code. Because of our ability to be loud and bold, we have the ability to develop a confidence and a strength that cannot be manufactured. We pursued peace and quiet to grow, but we have already found our voice. And when we use our voice to speak light, love and compassion to others, we are unstoppable.
"Tourette Syndrome is not the end. Finding out that you are uncontrollably bold is literally the greatest beginning you could ever ask for."
(M): What are few things that you wish the church or even ‘the world’ knew about ADHD, OCD, and anxiety?
(JG): When I was a kid I had a bicycle accident, and crashed into the trampoline in our backyard. It’s a pretty classic 90’s kid story and I would dare to say that most parents would have the same response. Based on the degree of the injury, there will likely be bandages, some sort of cleaning of the wound or even a trip to the hospital if necessary.
I wish we could embrace mental health the same way we embrace physical health. Every person with ADHD, OCD and/or anxiety is different. Some people may need to adjust their lifestyle at home, school or work, some people may need to implement regular checkins with a trusted mentor and some people may pursue meeting with a psychologist or psychiatrist.
In the event of an injury to our physical bodies, it’s almost impossible to find someone who would object to some kind of care, and most people would not approach an accident immediately spewing accusations of actions or even spiritual health. It’s somehow an unspoken and mutual concept, that the injured person needs care, and that’s all that matters.
While we cannot see it so there is an added layer of complexity, I do wish we could somehow embrace mental health the same way.
(M): What are some ways that you have learned to find quiet—when it’s noisy around you, and within you?
(JG): This year, I have grown in the intentional choice to not add unnecessary noise into my life. From watching the news to stay up to date on the pandemic and the most recent election, learning how to parent a very joyful and conversational toddler, to the realistic fears as Black American family that have led to difficult conversations with people we love, this has possibly been the noisiest year of my life.
When I am feeling overwhelmed, i often want literal quiet. However that is seldom an option, especially having a tic disorder that is heightened now times of stress. So instead, I have been choosing to find quiet from the inside out.
I try not to add noise to situations that are already noisy. I try not to turn on a movie to fall asleep when I’m stressed out and i try to avoid mindlessly scrolling through social media. These are incredibly common tasks, especially for millennials, that can often times prevent us from learning to find quiet within ourselves.
We can’t always change the people in our world, community or even our home. But we can choose to pursue quiet time by being intentional about what we say, do, watch, listen to and so much more.
(M): What are three things that you want parents to know about their child or teenager who may be struggling with ADHD, OCD and Tourette’s syndrome?
(JG): First off, if your child has very expressive tics, it may be difficult not to react, but please try not to! When they are calm it may be helpful to ask if there is anything that you can do when they do have big tics, but I remember being so grateful that my parents never made a big deal about it. Everyone else around me seemed to be afraid of me, and I am forever grateful for the safe place that my parents and older sister provided.
Second, find at least 30 minutes every week, even if it is split into multiple 5-10 minute sessions, to do some thing to find quiet in your routine. Not only does taking care of yourself give you the ability to be a more gracious, consistent and loving parent, but it sets a positive example for your children! My dad is a pastor and I have vivid memories of him preparing his sermons on the weekends in our home library. Every time I sit down to relax and read, I am reminded of seeing my dad find peace and solitude as he did the same. I can only hope that I am setting the example for my daughter as well.
Lastly, buy: a piano, a keyboard, and an easel with canvases, and an unlimited supply of brushes and paint! Creating is not about making art for other people, it is often times a healing way of expressing yourself. My mom would tell my sister and I, “Create something everyday.” As adults, this is often our main go to for the days that feel much more like long nights.
An entertainer, Jamie Grace thrives on creating. She regularly creates original content, including new music and weekly videos and episodes of The Jamie Grace Podcast. When she isn't touring, Jamie lives in Southern California with her husband, Aaron, and daughter, Isabella Brave.