A look into the distribution of work inside of two-parent homes showed that it's not so much the breakdown of hours spent working but instead how it's broken down that makes moms so stressed and dads so chill. Pew Research Center looked at the numbers recently and found that moms spend 18 hours on average each week on housework while dads spent approximately 10 hours each week. Moms are reported to spend about 14 hours of the week taking care of the kids while dads spend about 8. These numbers are still disproportionate but closer than they've ever been.
The extra 14 hours a week that moms spend working in the house or with the kids no doubt contributes to their extra stress but that's not what's causing them the most stress. Moms are more likely to be responsible for the things that keep the house running efficiently while dads are more likely responsible for recreational activities and fun. This means that even if dad is responsible for taking the kids to the doctor or extra curricular activities, mom probably set everything up.
What this ultimately means is that if something falls through the cracks, it'll have a greater impact coming from mom than it would be coming from dad. Further, if dad gets sick or is away, it's somewhat easy for a mom to assume his responsibilities, whereas if mom gets sick or has to go away, it's a lot harder to transfer her responsibilities to dad. This means that mom is less likely than a dad to ever really truly get a break. Even if she's not physically there, she'll most likely have to be mentally present and always thinking about what she needs to do or forgot to do that could potentially derail the house from running without a hitch.
This all leads to more stress for moms than dads. It also equates to moms seeing their extra responsibilities after having kids as extra tasks while dad will see his extra responsibilities as quality bonding time with the kids. This essentially is what makes for happier dads than moms.
There are some that believe that women shoulder this extra responsibility because they want to and get joy out of it. This may be the case for some, but not for all. Most women just kind of get the job by default and continue doing it because its the only way they know. Chances are both husband and wife saw their own mother's carrying this burden and subconsciously grew up believing it to be normal.
Regardless of why household responsibilities are divided the way that they are, a mother that is over-stressed, overwhelmed and overworked doesn't bode well for the entire family and we have to collectively work together to lighten the mother's load.
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