Having children changes your life, but it also changes your body. Regardless of what your shape looked like before you got pregnant, having a child changes it all. It can be easy to feel a bit self-conscious with sagging skin and stretch marks where there was once firm, smooth and taut skin. After all, these are often permanent changes that women need to embrace as a part of becoming a mother. Hayley Garnett is a mother of three and blogger who recently posted a picture on her Instagram page showing her own postpartum baby belly, sagging skin and all. Instead of writing her own words of acceptance and self-love, she asked her husband to write his thoughts.
Her husband Cody took some time to think about his wife's postpartum belly and what it means to him. "Sure, things look and feel slightly different--but in the grand scheme of things, nothing changed," he began his post. "The reasons I fell in love with her had nothing to do with any of the body parts affected by her postpartum."
He went on to write that "She still has the same beautiful smile, determined mind, banging body, and strong work ethic as the girl I fell in love with over 15 years ago. She still has the same sense of humor. She still smells great and tastes great too. Her postpartum body does look and feel slightly different, but why should that be a factor in my life at all?" he asked.
He wrote about how special his wife's belly was because "The soft pillowy skin around her belly button held my three best friends for 18 months. The marks show the strength it took to carry the weight of two beautiful girls that will be raised by this bad ass mom. Nothing has changed or altered my love for my wife."
He continues to write about his wife's "imperfections" which kind of ruins the initial message and asks fathers to step up their game around the house. Hayley's followers loved Cody's message and took to the comments to commend the father of three for his views. "This post makes it easier to come to terms with my postpartum body," wrote one commenter. "Wow! I’m speechless! Thank you so much for sharing this! I have pretty much the same tummy and I feel so bad about myself. We’re having issues with my husband because I hate myself so much. Your account and your posts help me so much. Thank you!" wrote another.
Hayley told Health that she posted the picture and message because she thought there were women who could really benefit from hearing it. “I had been getting messages every so often asking me things like ‘Are you embarrassed by your body in front of your husband?’ Or ‘Is your husband still attracted to you after having kids?’” she says.
“Both of these questions might be slightly offensive if you take them at surface value. But what I hear is the worry in these questions. The fear that maybe their worth as a partner has fallen off because their body has experienced profound change.”
Hayley says that while Cody's message didn't surprise her, it did mean a lot to see the words written. “I wasn’t surprised by what he wrote,” she says. “I cried tears of gratitude and love while reading, but I was not surprised. Because he’s never once made me feel like less of a woman."
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