Picking a baby name is no joke. It can take months, years even, to settle on the perfect name for your child. Some people have their names picked out long before they even have kids! But it's also a collaborative effort, for the most part. Parents work together to come up with a name they both love, or can at least live with. You might have a favorite, but your partner might veto that right out of the gate. And maybe you hate your partner's favorite name! It's a give-and-take, and many a couple have gotten into fights during the baby naming process!
But once you settle on a name, it's settled. It's set in stone. And the ONLY way to change it after you agree is with an unanimous vote (meaning you and your partner). Those are the rules, and breaking those rules is bad. What's even worse? Breaking those rules while your wife is passed out after her emergency c-section and then not telling her about it FOR TWO WHOLE MONTHS. You guys, this might be the worst baby name betrayal we've heard about.
A woman wrote into Slate's Care and Feeding column for advice on how to handle a pretty big betrayal she's recently discovered. See, following an emergency c-section, this poor mama passed out from exhaustion, leaving her husband to handle all the baby paperwork. Simple enough, right? They agreed on a first and middle name, all he had to was write it on the paperwork, and done! Except ... phew. OK, rather than write the name exactly as they'd discussed and agreed upon, the husband conspired with his mom WHILE HIS WIFE WAS PASSED OUT, and changed the spelling of their son's middle name. And then, THEN, he didn't tell her for two whole months. We just ... our blood is boiling.
It wasn't until she needed the baby's social security card two months later that she even noticed the change. They had agreed on Finley for a middle name. Her husband and mother-in-law decided to change it to Finlay. The worst part? The only reason she even agreed to Finley as a middle name was IF IT WAS SPELLED WITH AN 'E'. And he never told her! He never told her.
Apparently, the man was guilt-tripped into changing the spelling by his mother, which really is no excuse. He's a man, this is HIS baby, and he was given a name agreed upon by him and the baby's mom.
Sure, it's just one letter. But it's not even the name that's the biggest issue here. It's the fact that this man took advantage of his wife being in an incredibly vulnerable position, betrayed her trust, and changed the name of their actual child without her input. And then just ... didn't tell her. We don't know about you guys, but if this happened to us, we'd be concerned about more than just changing the spelling back to the original name. We'd have a whole lot of questions about the kind of man we were actually married to!