Just stating the obvious here but pregnancy changes our bodies. This may not be breaking news but the pressure to look perfect still exists. Growing a human inside of you will involve some stretching, weight gain, and hormonal changes. The body you may have grown to love, or were still learning to love will be forever gone.
I don't want to scare you but it's the honest truth. You may not recognize the body that comes in its place. It will be something you don't recognize at first. Maybe it's softer. Or stripier, or saggier. Maybe it looks the same but just...differenet. Or maybe you hit the genetic lottery you don't see much of a difference. Whatever happened to your previous body, you now have a mom bod because that's what you are.
And that body is fierce. It's powerful and grew love. You should love this body unconditionally and should take care of it. You need to work to accept it if you don't, which I know, is easier said than done.
The other person who should love your new body as much as you do? Your husband, of course. And if you're hubby doesn't love this new amazing body you have, I have a huge problem with your husband. Throw him out. Get a new one and start over. This man vowed to love you in sickness and health, and good times and bad. He will love the changes that motherhood has brought to you.
He should see your stretch marks as where his child grew and the space they needed to be born healthy. He should see them as marks of honor and as a blessing you were able to carry his child. Your tummy may be flabbier or bigger than its ever been but that just means you're happy. It means you're well enough to eat and have enough food.
Your tired eyes have replaced the fresh ones of youth and rest. This means that you're providing care round the clock to his child. It means that you give all of yourself to your family and you're so exhausted with no time for yourself. Your husband should see this. Your breasts fed an infant or tried valiantly or they simply fell victim to body changes and time. They swelled with pregnancy and reduced after birth or with breastfeeding. Really, your hubby should have been expecting this.
The man you married needs to understand that things are different now it isn't just the two of you. You grew this life inside of you and will forever see the effects. He needs to know that when he loves your new body, you love it more.
As women, we feel immense pressure to be perfect and bounce back after having a baby. The reality is that few of us bounce back and if we do, it took a hell of a lot of work and dedication. Your hubby needs to recognize that.
I have a huge problem with any man who can't do that and I'm not afraid to say it. Any husband who cannot or will not love his wife's body after she gave birth to his child, doesn't deserve a wife.
Not all moms have physically carried a baby or given birth but these women still have the stresses of being a mom. Plus let's not forget time and how it leaves no one unscathed. Aging itself can take a toll on women's bodies (and men's) yet we're the ones expected to maintain our youth and subtle, tight skin.
Dad bods are all the rage actually. Think Vince Vaughn or Leonardo DiCaprio when he isn't making a movie or Fat Thor. Mom bods aren't as loved. The double standard needs to be shut down, and yes you dear husband, should be part of that change. Be vocal in your support and teach your sons. Women are beautiful and should be celebrated.
80% of us dislike our bodies in some way or the other. Let's shatter that number and be part of the 20%. Any men out there should heed my advice. Love the body that gave life. Love the body that still loves yours even though you may be heavier than when we first met too.
Squeeze my love handles. Tell me I'm beautiful and love the crow's feet that have formed from smiling at our babies. Admire my muscular left arm slightly toned from seven years of carrying children. Appreciate my widened hips and womanly curves. And tell me.