Although yelling at your children in certain situations, such as in the face of danger, is justified, it should never be a regular form of discipline. In fact, studies have shown that frequent yelling at your kids may lead to very harmful long-term consequences such as anxiety, aggressive behavior, and very low self-esteem. Furthermore, it will definitely damage your relationship and cause further behavioral issues. Therefore, it’s a good idea to save your yelling voice for absolute emergencies instead of screaming at your child for minor bad behavior. However, sometimes it may be difficult to drop an old habit or control your temper. We’ve compiled a list of tips and tricks to stop yourself from raising your voice!
10 Give Your Children Warnings
If you know that you’re prone to yelling, try to give your children warnings about how you feel. Sometimes, it isn’t one thing that causes you to yell but a chain reaction of events with the last being the straw that broke the camel’s back. To avoid the build-up of anger and frustration, be very clear with your children that they’re pushing you towards anger.
Try explaining that their behavior is causing you to be very frustrated and that you don’t want to lose your temper and hurt their feelings. Frequently, calm explanations before you erupt into screaming is more likely to be both emotionally and mentally better for both of you.
9 Give Yourself A Time-Out
When children misbehave, they’re often sent into their rooms for a time out to reflect about what they could have done better. As an adult, taking a time-out voluntarily when you feel your temper rising can save lots of guilt, tears, and unnecessary trauma. Of course, there’s no need to sit in a corner for your time-out. Go outside and do some jumping jacks, try out a stress ball, or sending your partner in to talk to your kid are all great ways to avoid yelling. The main point here is to allow yourself to blow off steam in other ways than to lose your temper in front of your child.
8 Understand Normal Behavior
Sometimes, it feels like every single thing your kid is doing is purely to frustrate you. However, it’s important to realize that many behaviors, although annoying, are perfectly normal for children of a certain age group. For example, sassiness, whining, fighting with siblings, and eye-rolling are all a normal part of growing up. That being said, you definitely need to set limits and have rules regarding such behavior. However, understanding that it’s all normal may help you take control of your anger. Remind yourself of your child’s age and think back to how you might have acted way back then, and maybe you won’t feel the need to yell so much.
7 Change Your Expectations
As an adult, certain activities may seem far easier to you than they do to young kids. However, it’s very important to try and understand that young kids simply can’t behave as you want them to. Try lowering your expectations and planning ahead to avoid tantrums and yelling later on.
For example, it’s pretty reasonable for a four-year-old to get tired and irritable quickly on a hiking trip, and even older kids will still complain during drives. Instead of demanding your children act a certain way all the time, try seeing it from a different perspective and cutting them some slack in some situations.
6 Set Firm Consequences
Instead of wasting your breath and risking your relationship by yelling, simply set firm consequences for your children. If they refuse to behave and adhere to certain rules, remind them of what the consequences of their actions will be, very calmly. For example, make it clear that if they punch a sibling again, it’ll be no television for a week. If your child still continues to misbehave, be consistent with their punishment and explain to them why it’s being administered. This way, you will never have to resort to yelling and bullying your child into behaving. They will learn to face the results of their irresponsible actions.
5 Don’t Get Personal
As a parent, it’s important to view yourself as an equal to your child rather than purely an authoritative figure. Like them, you will have bad days where every single thing anyone does ticks you off. Make sure to not take your children’s behavior personally, and everyone will have a nicer time. Realize that young children do not misbehave for the sole purpose of annoying you. It’s more often a coping mechanism for them when they are faced with activities that they do not want to partake in. Make sure that your rules and discipline methods are ultimately for your children’s own good rather than for your convenience, and control your temper when you know they haven’t done much wrong.
4 Take A Deep Breath And Count Backward From Ten
This one is for when you’re right on the verge of losing it. As you open your mouth to scream at your children, take a deep, deep breath instead, close your eyes, and count backward from ten mentally. Assess the situation and how it’ll play out in the long term. Will your child actually benefit from being yelled at?
Chances are that the logical answer here would be no. During those ten seconds, clear your mind and find a calm way to explain your child’s wrongdoing to them instead of yelling. If you can remember this handy trick, you’ll save yourself a whole lot of guilt and tears later on!
3 Address The Behavior, But Not Necessarily Right Away
Stubbornness is an extremely common trait in children of all ages. Sometimes, there’s just no changing their mind when it comes to certain behaviors. Of course, this doesn’t mean you should drop the subject and let your kiddos roam as they please.
However, you should consider coming back and addressing the behavior at another time, when you’re both more calm and relaxed. Arguing back and forth when your child’s clearly being stubborn can lead to fights and screaming. Instead, explain that you plan on addressing the incident later, and ask your child to work on something productive in the meantime. Addressing the behavior when you’re both in a better mood is far more likely to resolve a conflict.
2 Give Praise More Often
Another reason that children tend to misbehave is to gain the attention of their parents. Instead of allowing this negative behavior to fuel your relationship, make sure you’re giving your child enough positive attention and love in your everyday life. Praise your kids for the artworks they do in school, for sharing, for being kind to others, and any other positive behaviors. Doing so will not only encourage your child to become a positive role model but also save you from possibly losing your temper later on. Experts have found that children who receive praise are more likely to remain well behaved!
1 Live A Healthy Lifestyle
Although it may seem silly, your physical lifestyle may have something to do with your inability to control your temper at times. Additionally, your child’s habits and lifestyle may also have to do with their tendency to misbehave. According to experts, lack of sleep could cause children to act impulsively or be hyperactive, so it’s crucial to make sure your little one is on a good sleep schedule. Overall, you should ensure that both you and your child has a healthy, balanced diet and plenty of sleep to improve your moods, tempers, and relationship as a whole. After all, you’re far less likely to yell if you’re feeling like a million bucks.