Social divas, drinking buddies, and wild casanovas grind their teeth the second they hear the word "parenthood." Nah, people don’t want messy pics of baby bottles on their social feed! The false image of mothers in dirty pajamas, cleaning vomit and rocking a crying baby 24/7, is like a party pooper in people’s heads.
But hey, the fact you’re a new mom doesn’t mean you have to say goodbye to your social life and rot in the land of nappies, as people say. While we should agree that parenthood is not a walk in the park, there’s no doubt that kids teach parents life lessons, help them develop numerous social skills, and even improve their potential.
Moms are social queens who balance motherhood, work, and social life, of course. There are many ways to enjoy your social life as a new mom. From making mom friends to throwing house parties, moms can create valuable and exciting social contacts.
That said, parenthood tests friendships and soon after birth, many moms find themselves alone. If that’s the case, cheer up, mama! Being alone doesn’t mean you should feel lonely: having some "me" time is a great opportunity to reconnect with your true friends and enjoy some quality time with your baby. Simply because your little human is a source of lovely cooing and gurgling.
Here are 20 tricks to help you keep your social life as a new mom and succeed!
20 The Power of Daily Routines
Parenthood is not easy. Yet, parents manage to fight all the mess, cries, and fatigue which come with parenthood, and balance work and social life successfully. How do moms and dads succeed? The answer is simple: Daily Routines.
According to Child Development Info, kids must have a structured life and a regular routine in order to learn new skills and feel secure. Infants are changing creatures, so it takes some time to get used to your child’s schedule. However, by establishing a proper and age-appropriate daily routine, you’ll be able to start planning nights out, family dinners, and weekend trips successfully.
19 Knock, Knock
People love newborn babies. Invited or not, many people would come over to see your bundle of joy. In fact, having friends over is one of the best things that can help you lead a great social life... and be around your little one. On top of that, meeting new people will help kids develop essential social skills.
However, according to Scary Mommy, there are types of people moms should avoid. In other words, just don’t add people who bombard you with useless advice, show up late or dare to come sick to your guest list. Call me bitter, but I’ve stopped inviting a friend and her partner after they showed up two hours later for dinner as we were putting our daughter to bed.
18 Party Time
Organizing parties is also a great way to revive your social life as a new mom. Just after birth, though, you’ll need some time to recover and focus on your baby. So, make sure you meet up with friends who understand you and respect your space. True friends will understand, don’t worry! Personally, I love gatherings, so I try to have people over on a regular basis. With time, house parties can become bigger and louder.
On top of that, according to womansday.com, moms should consider product parties, which will help them make some extra cash. How cool is that?
17 Mom Friends Vs. Mom Enemies
Making mom friends is a sensitive topic. One may think that making mom friends is hard, especially when the "only" thing people have in common is motherhood. However, mom friends can be useful and they can become friends for life. According to medelabreastfeedingtips.ca, there are problems only moms will understand. From birth to exhaustion - friends without kids cannot fully understand parenthood, so mom friends will help you express your postnatal emotions and fears.
To be honest, I don’t have many mom friends... Simply because some parents just boast about their superpowers and superkids, without even asking about my baby. The few I have are priceless, though: they can look after my daughter, we can swap clothes and ideas, and our kids can enjoy spontaneous playdates.
16 Trust Your Family
Family dynamics are way too complicated, and the new member of the family might only challenge relationships further. The differences between each generation cannot be erased easily; grandparents and in-laws may bombard you with useless advice and plant guilt.
At the same time, having family over is not always so annoying; a family dinner can bring big families together and help your little one get to know the family tree. In fact, people have a better relationship with their parents when they have kids of their own, and I can see that myself. Family dinners will add some sweet vibes to your new social life, so get the table ready!
15 Baby Rituals
Baby celebrations from around the world are colorful and inspiring. From baby showers to unusual rituals, exploring baby traditions from around the globe can help you meet new people and bring your friends together. No doubt that engaging in mystical traditions is an exciting social event.
Blogger and mom Tiyash Bandyupadhyay told parents.com: "When each son started solids, we held a ceremony called Annaprasan. In India, the mom's brother gets the honor of serving the baby payesh (rice and milk, often boiled with sugar). We don't usually hold baby showers, so this is the first celebration with gifts." No surprise many American parents honor the traditions of their ancestors.
14 Social Diva
In our tech-driven society, it seems that smartphones have become like a "fifth limb." Good or bad, social media channels are part of our lives. In fact, stats show that American moms spend more time on the Internet than with TV or radio. Well, I’m no expectation: although I got rid of most of my social media accounts, my hubby can catch me surfing the net quite often.
Social media can help many moms socialize and find the support they need. A study conducted by Baby Center showed that 83% of new moms are millennials and most of them spend hours online to find parenting advice.
13 Work-Life Balance
Finding a good work-life balance as a new mom is hard. People think that one’s maternity leave is their best vacation ever. Also, stay-at-home moms are bombarded with questions like "What do you do all day?" Working moms are no exception. According to The Guardian, working moms often face prejudices and betrayal, especially in big companies and cooperations.
Thus, finding a good work-life balance is needed to help women stay emotionally stable and physically healthy. Reconnect with old colleagues, make new friends at work, and attend business parties. Just follow your life goals, surround yourself with positive people, and say Yes to post-work drinks.
12 Talk It Out
The main thing that can help you have a wonderful social life as a new mom is the ability to talk. Share your mommy emotions, express your postnatal fears, and never lose your sense of humor. Sadly, people think that new moms talk only about breastfeeding, labor, and laundry. Prove them wrong and show your friends you’re still the person they know.
At the same time, make sure people understand the massive changes you're going through. Talking about your family is more important to you than discussing their breakfast, right? Don’t let people who’ve interrupted you in the past (or never cared about your world) stop you from opening up.
11 Listening is a two way street
Communication is not a one-way street. People must listen actively in order to understand and respond effectively. Listen to people and love your friends. When it comes to friends without kids, try to understand that for some people getting trashed is still more interesting than keeping a human being alive. Remember it was the same for you before you became a mom! Note that non-verbal communication is also crucial to show people you’re empathetic and caring.
At the same time, keep your boundaries. According to Psychology Today, always keep your personal space. For instance, if someone keeps ranting about life and doesn’t listen to anything you say, it’s time to close the door of your friendship.
10 Travel The World
Traveling is a great way to socialize. Traveling with a baby is not easy, though. No more hitchhiking, no more late nights, no more dodgy places. However, traveling with a baby is more rewarding than any pre-baby adventures. More memories, more laughter, more destinations. Traveling together teaches parents and kids a lot. Therefore, if you have the opportunity to travel or visit new places, always take your baby with you.
One of the best things about traveling is the unique chance to meet locals and make new friends. Traveling can help one socialize, share their precious moments, and enjoy some quality time with their little bundle of joy.
9 A Little hired Help
Nannies can help you lead a rewarding social life. Hiring a nanny is not cheap but it's something that can help parents cope with all the social and emotional demands that come with parenthood. It gives parents the sweet chance to connect with their coworkers during after-work happy hours or enjoy a romantic night out.
Talking about social life, parents and nannies should be able to communicate effectively. According to the Forbes magazine, the relationship between nannies and mothers might become destructive if people don’t communicate their needs. Note that full-time nannies also need to socialize with other nannies - simply because spending hours with a baby is challenging.
8 Hobbies & Fun
Having a hobby can help new moms keep their sanity and stay healthy. While motherhood comes with lots of sacrifices, having a hobby can help moms reduce their stress levels and grow as individuals. Research shows that dedicating some time to yourself and your hobby can lead to better emotional well-being. It’s hard for moms to find time but according to sheknows.com, there are many doable hobbies for new moms.
Finding a moms’ club is also a great option, which can give you the unique chance to meet new people and make mom friends. From baby yoga to knitting, clubs are not solely about babies but emotional support.
7 Hot Mama
When the baby arrives, days may become hectic and repetitive. However, mothers are not only baby-makers. They are feminine, independent, and chic individuals. New moms still look cool and hot. It’s not about vanity but self-care.
Your physical appearance is closely related to your self-esteem. Psychologist Nathaniel Branden explains, "There is overwhelming evidence that the higher the level of self-esteem, the more likely one will be to treat others with respect, kindness, and generosity." This, on the other hand, will have a positive effect on your social skills. True, when people feel good, they are more likely to engage in social interactions, which can improve their emotional well-being.
6 New Horizons and new acquaintances
Being a mom is challenging but rewarding. Motherhood can come with lots of new friends. We are not talking only about mom friends and moms’ clubs. The truth is that, as blogger and mom Cheryl put it clearly, "Just because someone else is a mom does not necessarily mean they would make a good friend."
Thus, embrace new friendships. Go to the gym, join an art class, or just spend some time at the public library. By pursuing your career, you can meet new friends; by following your dreams, you can meet fellow adventurers; by traveling the world, you can understand the locals; and so on and on.
5 Hello, Goodbye
Talking about social life, quality does not mean quantity. The truth is that when we become parents, we have to make changes and compromises. Sometimes it’s about putting boundaries and saying goodbye to people: drinking buddies who’ve magically disappeared, non-parents who think that their jobs are more tiring than the magical combination of parenting and work, parents who talk solely about their kids (and don’t remember the name of your child).
According to Scary Mommy, lack of social life is not so bad - simply because one can finally appreciate their real friends. For me, my closest friend is the godmother of my child: although we’re living in different countries, we can still talk the night away.
4 Influence Your Destiny
One thing that can help you have a successful social life is blogging. The Internet is a vast and diverse opportunity to meet new people, find advice, and share your life. While I’m not a big fan of social media and its fake followers and impersonal communication, I know that blogging can help you meet fellow bloggers and find a niche which you truly love.
In fact, mom blogs are quite popular and you can even transform your hobby into a source of stable income. Actually, according to the New York Post, there are 4.2 million American mothers who blog about their lives and babies.
3 The Other Half
Parenthood challenges people’s love life. Intimacy changes and relationships face numerous obstacles, such as financial problems, physical changes, and constant fatigue. Still, sometimes our best friend is our partner. Sadly, I have a few mom friends who make jokes and look down on me when I have a date with my hubby or plan a trip without the baby. Don’t get me wrong, I adore my gorgeous daughter and I feel truly blessed; yet, I don’t understand why moms who want some space are perceived as heartless monsters.
Single moms who want a relationship again should not be ashamed of their emotional needs either.
2 socializing with Mom & Dad
It’s not until people have kids of their own when they finally stop acting as angry teens towards their parents. Grandparents play a significant role in a child’s development... and help your social life. While parents should not let grandparents interfere with their parenting methods or rules, they can simply organize a family dinner and socialize. Why don’t hit the mall or go to the movies?
It’s interesting to mention that, according to Psychology Today, about 2% of American children are being raised by a grandparent (with no parent in the household), and there is an increase in the number of kids living in three-generational homes.
1 it's time to Make Compromises
To sum up, the key to any successful social interaction can be found in the ability to make compromises. Even if you establish a great daily routine for your family, remember that not everyone is considerate or caring. In case you still want to socialize with people, just make compromises. Instead of cleaning or watching TV, make a phone call and talk to people. If possible, hire a babysitter and reconnect with old friends. Invite people over and organize playdates. Give up a few hours with your baby to hang out with friends, colleagues, or your significant other.
Most of all, remember that your bundle of joy is also a human being and interacting together is the most rewarding social event ever.