Not every family is fortunate enough to be able to have one parent stay home full time with the children. Usually, financial factors will prevent the family from being able to lose one income, and thus they have to rely on childcare help from family to watch the kids while they work.
On the other hand, some families are able to allow one parent to become a stay-at-home mom or dad. But, as great as this can be, it also comes with its own unique set of challenges and assumptions. Many people assume it’s the woman’s role to be the parent that stays at home, or believe that staying home with your kids 24/7 and maintaining a household is not really a real job- which couldn’t be any farther from the truth!
These dads all shared their real opinions on what they think of their stay-at-home wives, and we bet most of them will shock you. While some husbands feel bad that the bulk of child-rearing is left up to their wives, others think their partners have it easy and wish they could stay home full-time. Some even question why their wives are so stressed out or don’t have enough time in the day. Read on to hear what these men would never say to their wives’ faces!
20 She’s Let Herself Go
Luke* makes a surprising confession when he says he thinks his wife should put more effort into her looks since she’s home all day!
“She’s totally let herself go since becoming a stay-at-home mom. With all this time at home, you’d think she could find the time or energy to do her hair, makeup, or at least put on some real clothes. But every time I come home from work, she looks worse and frumpier.
Is it too much to ask that she put a little effort in?”
Given how busy stay-at-home moms are with taking care of their kids, we don’t think dads should be commenting on their appearance!
19 Nothing More Than A Trophy Wife
Callum* is upset because his wife is acting like a trophy wife, rather than the ambitious woman he fell in love with.
“I was always attracted to my wife’s drive and ambition. She used to have a career that rivaled mine, and I would feed off of our competition.
But now she acts like nothing more than a trophy wife. She gets to stay at home with the kids all day, goes out and gets her hair and nails done, and spends thousands on designer clothes.
It’s not that we can’t afford it. I just can’t believe how much things have changed. I don’t love this side of her.”
18 That’s My Money To Spend
Robert* is upset that his wife is spending their money without considering how he might feel. He claims she treats herself to clothing hauls and spa trips every week, which probably adds up quickly.
“It makes me so mad seeing her spend all of my money. At least once a week she’s going out shopping for new clothes or dropping $100 on going to lunch or the spa with her friends. She says she deserves it because she’s home with the baby all day. I never treat myself like that even though I’m the one making the money.
But considering I’m the one making the money, I think I should have the final say in where it’s going.”
17 The Mom Of Nightmares
Cedric* admits he doesn’t think his wife is cut out to be a fulltime stay-at-home mom.
“I can’t believe I’m saying this… but my wife isn’t cut out to be a mom.
She’s been staying-at-home with our newborn only for a few months, and she calls me at work hysterical because she can’t get him to stop crying. I’ll come home and the baby is unchanged, hungry and crying in the crib, while she has noise canceling headphones on because she needs a break.
I’m worried it’s only going to get worse from here on out.”
16 Time To Ask For Help
Kyler* says he’s worried that his wife has taken on too much since she has no help in caring for their son all day, who has autism and ADHD.
“Our son was diagnosed with autism and ADHD. I love him to bits, but he’s certainly a handful. My wife quit her job so she could stay with him 24/7 rather than hire a nurse. I know she thinks it’s in his best interest, but I’m not sure if it’s in hers.
I can’t imagine being home with for the entire day. It would drive me crazy. I’ve told her to hire help, but she says she can handle it.”
15 We’re Digging Ourselves Into A Hole
Wesley* says he lied to his wife and told her they could afford for her to be a stay-at-home mom. But now it sounds like it’s backfiring.
“Before we had our daughter, my wife was convinced she’d have to go back to work, but I knew she’d be unhappy leaving our baby with a stranger.
So, I lied and told her we could afford her not working because I got a promotion at work. But there was no promotion. We’re spending more money than we make, and I’m so worried she’s going to look at our bank statement and realize.
I don’t know how to tell her we can’t afford this.”
14 We’re Drowning In Debt
James says his family can’t afford to lose his wife’s income, but that’s not making her reconsider her decision to be a stay-at-home mom.
“I haven’t said this to anyone out loud, but we can’t afford for her to stay home with the babies. She needs to get a job or we’re not going to be able to manage.
The problem is she’s just lazy. Her parents offered to look after the kids if she wanted to go back to her job, but she told them ‘no’ without consulting me. She says it’s my job to be the breadwinner and hers to stay at home. But she won’t be saying that when we lose the house because of her.”
13 She’s Into The Money, Not Me
Silas* admits he thinks it was his wife’s plan all along to marry him and then stay-at-home with the kids.
“Sometimes I wonder if she married me for my money… My wife is 10 years younger and told me she wanted to go back to school to get her business degree. But we got pregnant right after we got married like she planned it. Then she acted like her only option was to stay home and watch the baby.
My friends have suggested this was her plan all along because with my job she can afford to not lift a finger. It makes me angrier the longer I think about it.”
12 We’ll Never Have That Bond
Though he swears he’ll never tell, Joey* admits that he’s jealous his wife is closer to their children since she’s with them all day. He says it's unfair that women get more opportunities to be with their kids than men.
“I’m secretly jealous because I know she’ll have a better relationship with our kids since she’s with them all day.
When I come home from work I’m too tired to play, or the kids have already gone to bed. I think they see me more like an uncle than their actual dad, and it kills me inside.
It’s not fair that women get more chances to have a better bond with their kids.”
11 Can We Trade For A Day?
Nigel admits he’s started working more since his wife became a stay-at-home mom, but he envies all the time she gets to spend with their baby.
“I wish we could switch places. I’ve increased my hours at work to meet to compensate for the fact that we lost my wife’s income. I know it’s important for one of us to stay home, but I wish we could split it evenly somehow. I’m losing all this time with my son, while she gets to be there for every milestone and little moment.
I’m too afraid to tell her how I feel, though.”
10 I’ve Got A Wandering Mind
Ryan* admits he’s been feeling insecure since his wife became a stay-at-home mom, and often wonders what she’s doing when he’s at work.
“I’ve always been insecure since my first wife got together with another man behind my back.
Now that my wife is staying home with the baby and has all this free time, my mind wanders and I’m having trouble trusting her. I always think she’s with something or doing things she should be doing.
Sometimes I’ll leave work early just so I can see if I’ll catch her in the act, but she’s never given me any hint that she’d be doing something wrong.”
9 She’s Not The Same Woman
Hunter* is clearly agitated by how much his wife brags about being a stay-at-home mom, so much so that he says he doesn’t even recognize her.
“I hate that she brags about being a stay-at-home mom like it’s something to be proud about.
The only reason we can afford it is because I WORK at a good job. I went to school for EIGHT years so we could afford this. She just looks lazy staying at home and telling everyone how luxurious it is.
I can’t believe she’s the same woman I married.”
How would you feel if this is what your partner thought of you?
8 Nannies Aren’t An Option
Mathew* surprisingly admits to guilting his wife into being a stay-at-home mom so their kids wouldn’t be raised by nannies like he was.
“When had our first kid, my wife actually wanted to go back to work after a year. But I convinced her not to.
I was raised by nannies all my life, and it felt like they were more of a parent to me than my own parents were. I think I kind of guilted my wife into staying home at first, but now that we have three she knows she couldn’t easily get her job back or put them in daycare.”
7 Put A Lid On It
Kyle* admits that he’s had it with his wife’s complaining. He says she always wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, so she should stop telling him about the downsides.
“This is what she wanted all along, so I hate hearing her complain about it. Like, yeah babies cry and poop and eat all day, but she said from our first date she wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. I didn’t force her to leave her job, but that’s what she makes it seem like to everyone.
I’d let her put our kid in daycare if it’d make her stop whining about her life.”
6 You’ve Gotta Get Out Of The House
Jerry* is worried about his wife being a stay-at-home mom because he seems like she never has the motivation to leave their house… seriously. He admits that he’s beginning to wonder if his wife is having trouble with her mental health.
“She literally never leaves the house. I’m not exaggerating.
There was one time my wife wore the same clothes for three days straight and justified it because she had nowhere to be. She’s an amazing mom, but I’m beginning to wonder if she’s dealing with depression. Being that much of a loner, even if you have kids, isn’t normal.”
5 We Have An Image To Maintain
Harris* says that he’s secretly happy his wife decided to stay-at-home because he’s worried people would otherwise judge him. We bet his wife doesn’t share the same opinion!
“I’m scared people would judge us if my wife didn’t stay at home. We grew up and now live in a really rich community.
If one parent doesn’t stay home then it’s a sign your family just can’t afford it. I know my wife doesn’t feel the same way and I’m glad she wanted to stay at home just because.
But if she didn’t, it would have caused a lot of conflicts.”
4 Where Does The Time Go?
Winston* is curious to know what his wife does all day since he’s confused as to why she never has time to get things off of her to-do list. Then again, most moms will tell you just watching the kid is a full-time job, not to mention keeping up with the household and making food.
“My biggest question: how does she not have time to do things?
When I come back from work, the house is always a mess and she looks messier. She barely has the time to prepare dinner. She says it was because she was busy all day. But if the baby naps for 2 hours, what d you do during then?”
3 Boring Is An Understatement
Sebastian* says he doesn’t envy his wife staying at home at all. In fact, he’s confident that she’s actually unhappy with her life right now.
“My wife used to be a high-profile lawyer. But now her life is so boring.
She keeps telling me she’s okay and likes being home with the kids, but I can tell she’s lying. She won’t consider daycare or a nanny, though, because that’s what her parents did to her as a child, and she hated it.
I’m just waiting until she finally breaks down and realizes this isn’t going to last. Honestly, I’d be so depressed if I was her.”
2 I Need Some Rest & Relaxation
Micah* is under the impression that being a stay-at-home mom should be relaxing, which is why he’s confused as to why his wife seems like she always needs a vacation.
“It baffles me how she never feels relaxed. I come home at the end of the day tired and wanting to put my feet up, but she always insists I look after the kids while she showers or goes for a walk.
If I got to stay home all day, I’d be so rested that I’d want to get out and do something. I just don’t understand.”
Maybe he should just ask her what she does all day!
1 Cut Out The Complaining!
Kolby* says he’s having a hard time hearing his wife’s complaints about being a stay-at-home mom because he’d love it if the roles were reversed.
“My wife is clearly unhappy being a stay-at-home mom, but we agreed that’s what she’d do if we had kids. Now she won’t stop complaining about it.
I’d love to be the one to stay home and not work, but that’s her job as a mom. It’s making us argue more than we ever had, and our son isn’t even a year old. At this rate, I don’t know how we’re going to survive until our next anniversary.”
*Names have been changed.