Mom Gives Hilarious Advice On How To Prepare For Having Kids

Child eating

Wondering what it is to be a parent, rethink what you know. Yes it's a beautiful thing, but are you really prepared for the part that: smells like poop, feels like slime, looks like a natural disaster, sounds like a screeching hyena, and tastes like sour milk? It's a lot to take in and it happens all at once.

Laura Mazza, a mother who posts about her journey through Motherhood on Facebook, has recently written what one needs to do to get themselves ready for Parenthood. She starts off by saying, "Buy bananas." Only eat that, then buy more, watch them rot and shout, "Why doesn't anyone want the bananas now?" Then just cry. Listen to Baby Shark over and over. Then have someone tell you to play it over again. Go around doing your neighbors' laundry and then have them dirty it, just so you can wash it again.

Laura Mazza
Credit: Facebook

She lists many of the things parents deal with on a regular bases, but in a humorous way. Her enormous following, over 200,000 Facebook followers, proves that parents get a kick out of her comical posts. Many parents can relate to this lineup like, "Buckle an octopus in a car seat." It's funny, and at the same time, it voices the reality of what it's like to buckle your wiggly angel in their safety seat. Finding the humor makes it all worth it. She goes on to say, "Get up... go back, get up, go back, get up. Smash your toe into something really hard." The constant stop and go keeps one on their toes, especially that smashed toe.

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A plethora of comments flooded her post. Even parents with grown children were finding this still relatable. One commentator said, "The banana thing is still true now... When they're 20, 17 & 11." Another commented, "My kids are grown now... But back in the day.. PEEL MY HOT DOG MOMMY!! Have you ever tried to peel an Oscar Myer weiner?!" Grandparents have gotten into the comments section as well, "Our grand daughter insisted we put her and her friend in a seat belt so we could go out. Her friend is a large rock from our garden which she carried around the shops with us."

How to prepare for children: Buy bananas, buy five fucking bunches. Eat them all. Whatever. Just make them disappear in...

Posted by Laura Mazza on Wednesday, November 6, 2019

Mazza concludes with the best ending, "And now you're 10% ready." It's a never-ending experience and Parenthood is an unexpected journey; one is never really 100% prepared.

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