A young mother’s raw and real post about what it’s like loving and raising a baby she never meant to have is going viral, and it is something nearly every mother can relate to — regardless of whether their pregnancy was planned.

Olivyah Bowens is a 23-year-old doula based in Puerto Rico. Like 40 percent of pregnancies around the world, Olivyah’s was unintended. In fact, neither she nor her loved ones were the least bit happy about it. However, in a poignant Instagram photo she shared over the weekend during a meltdown her 2-year-old daughter, Ozara, was in the midst of, she broke down about how the experience has forced her to evolve and what she has learned about herself in the process.

“No one teaches you how to love a child you didn’t plan to have,” she writes. “No one shows you how to traverse the emotional complexity of loving a child you weren’t happy about being pregnant with.” Pretty much every mom can relate to this, because even those who 100 percent planned their pregnancies weren’t taught how to love their child — something that is impossible to comprehend until a woman becomes a mother.

“It’s even more difficult at those times when they’re having tantrums and pushing you to a point of emotional exhaustion,” she continues. (Again, most moms can attest to this!)

Next she discusses how confusing it is when “the same people who told you that you pretty much ruined your life" are smiling ear to ear at your baby shower a few months later. "It’s hard. Looking at a beautiful baby and being bogged down by the thoughts of how you will take care of them and how much life will change.”

While it’s obviously a lot harder for a mom who was caught off guard by motherhood to adapt to the life changes a baby brings, many parents — regardless of their journey to motherhood —struggle to accept or adapt to their new 24/7 job taking care of a tiny human. It’s a lot to digest. And no first-time parent is every really prepared.

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She also touches upon how becoming a mother forces her to relive and deal with her own childhood trauma. Parenthood is a gateway to understand one’s own experience through a different lens. “This stage of motherhood has forced me to look at my reflection in my daughter’s eyes and realize that no I don’t enjoy being a mother all the time, but this child has been the catalyst for major growth,” she continues.“She is the mirror that allows me to look into my past and see the fears still controlling me now.”

She admits she “doesn’t want to be a mother every day” nor does she want to “feel held back” from chasing her dreams and goals. But she does acknowledge that her daughter has forced her to deal with things she would never have encountered had she remained childless.

“Dear mama, who is going through an unplanned pregnancy, don't feel guilty, don't feel afraid, don't feel ashamed,” she writes in the conclusion of her moving post. “That baby chose YOU to be it's mothers at the perfect time. Surrender to the journey of unpredictability and let this new being show you a whole new part of yourself you didn't know was there.”

While Bowen’s post is clearly uber-inspirational for mother’s facing an unplanned pregnancy, it’s a reminder to all that motherhood is an exciting — but impossibly unpredictable — journey. And while plenty of sleep and endless patience may not be on the agenda every single day, during those rough spells it’s important to look at the big picture: Kids may induce exhaustion, but the personal transformation they inspire is well worth the tired eyes.

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