Growing Up A Duggar: 25 Things They Do That Actually Make Total Sense

Everyone has heard of the Duggar family, who become known after starring on their TLC reality series, 19 Kids and Counting. The show lasted for several seasons. It has been off the air since 2015, but even though cameras aren't following their every move anymore, the family still makes headlines regularly because Jim-Bob and Michelle Duggar have 19 children, and now some of their kids are grown up and starting their own families.

It's pretty much impossible for most moms to imagine have 19 children. Even having three or four kids can feel tough because every day will be very busy and packed with activities. Many people are fascinated by the Duggars and how they have brought up their children.

Although the family has faced some criticism over the years, there are some ways that Jim-Bob and Michelle have been raising their kids that seem logical and are things that other parents could get behind. The couple is known for having rules that they want their kids to follow, and while some of them are a bit much, others seem like good ideas.

Read on to find out about 25 things that the Duggar family does that actually make sense.

25 Limit Social Media Use

IBTimes UK

According to Romper, the Duggar family has a rule that their kids can only use social media once they are getting married.

While this is extreme, the idea of limiting hours spend on social media (and screen time in general) is a good one. Moms agree that social media and screen time are big deals these days and that kids seem to be spending more and more time every day on devices. Most parents aren't going to have the same social media rule as the Duggars, but it does make sense to not spend so much time scrolling and posting. There are so many other things that kids and teens can do, right?

24 Make Sure You're Complimenting Your Kids More Than Saying They Were Wrong


According to Cafe Mom, one rule that the Duggars have is that every time they have to tell their kids that they have done something wrong, they make sure to compliment them a bunch of times.

This is something else that makes a lot of sense. The Duggars may be living life in the spotlight and people might take about their rules, but this is one aspect of how they raise their children that doesn't get as much attention. It's a really nice idea and something that moms can take to heart. After all, when you want to give constructive criticism, it's nice to throw in some kind words.

23 Limit TV Time

Today Show

Cafe Mom says that the Duggar family doesn't watch television.

This would be too much for many (if not most families) because everyone loves calming down after a long day and watching their favorite show. A lot of families enjoy movie night on Fridays or there are certain shows that they enjoy together.

But limiting TV does make sense. Many moms can figure out what works for them. Even watching one hour less of TV each day (or even half an hour) could free up time for other activities.

22 Learn To Calm Down And Be Quiet When Necessary

In Touch Weekly

Cafe Mom quoted Michelle Duggar as saying that she has taught her children how to be quiet when necessary.

She said about one of her kids, "I'll sit him in a chair, and I'll say, 'Okay, Mommy's going to sit beside you, and you're going to practice being still and quiet, yes ma'am?' We may do that two or three times a day for about a week, and usually they catch it. They're learning self-control. They're learning to obey Mommy's voice. Then it can be transferred to when you're in the grocery store and they're sitting in the cart."

This makes a lot of sense since every mom does want their children to be calm and to behave themselves.

21 Group Texts With Family Members Should Happen

New Article World

Ranker says that one of the rules that the Duggars have put into place is that text messages are group messages between the family members.

While again, many parents might find this move to be too extreme and wouldn't put this rule into place, the idea of everyone staying in touch is a really sweet one. When you have a big family, it seems like you wouldn't always have time to connect with one another. Group texts is a fun and easy way to keep in touch.

20 Eat Thanksgiving Lunch At 1 PM And Play Games The Whole Afternoon

Duggar Family Blog

Romper says that when the Duggars celebrate Thanksgiving, they eat lunch at 1 p.m. and then they play games for the whole afternoon.

This is something else that the Duggar family does that actually makes a lot of sense. Even though a holiday like Thanksgiving is a perfect time to hang out as a family, moms know that it's easy to get caught up in spending the entire day preparing a huge meal. If you eat earlier, then you have lots of time to spend together. Nothing is better than that and playing games also sounds like a fun idea.

19 Parents Should Hang Out With Each Kid Separately Sometimes


According to Cafe Mom, Michelle and Jim-Bob have made sure that even though they have 19 kids, they hang out with each kid separately sometimes. They feel that this is important.

Although moms might not agree with everything that the Duggars do or the rules that they impose, this is a smart idea for sure. When you have more than one child, you do worry about spending enough time with each of them and you want them each to feel super special and loved.

18 Say What You're Thankful For At Thanksgiving

Duggan Family Blog

According to Romper, when the Duggars celebrate Thanksgiving, they talk about the things that they are thankful for.

This is a nice tradition that a lot of families follow. Even if you don't go around the table and mention what you appreciate, you probably take note of the people and things in your life that you are grateful for, at least in your head. It's not always easy to relate to a family with 19 children, but many moms would think that this tradition makes sense.

17 Dating Should Be Taken Seriously

The Hollywood Gossip

Josh Duggar was quoted in People magazine saying that the Duggar kids "court" and, "A courtship is a path toward marriage."

We might not all agree with the rules that the Duggar parents put on their children when it comes to dating, such as dates needing to have chaperones and "side hugs" instead of regular hugs. But we can agree that it's a good idea to take dating seriously and make sure that you really like someone and have a future together. This is a good thing for moms to talk to their teenagers about.

16 Do Chores And Get Some Money For It

In Touch Weekly

According to Cafe Mom, the Duggar kids have done chores and have been paid for them. Michelle Duggar says that they get pennies at a time but it could be $25 for the month.

Isn't this a great idea? If you feel like there is always too much to do around the house and you would love for your kids to get involved with chores, giving them some money is a great incentive. But, of course, that could get pricey if you have more than one kid, so only giving them a bit of money is a good way to keep costs down but still keep the process fun.

15 Be Happy For The Sake Of It

The Hollywood Gossip

Women Living Well quotes the book The Duggars: 20 And Counting! which mentions some of the values that the Duggars follow. One of them is, "Show joyful attitudes even when no one is looking."

Being happy for the sake of it is a really good idea. Every mom would think that's true, no matter how they feel about the Duggar clan. This is an especially great message to impart to your children when they're having a hard time at school or going through something.

14 Older Kids Take Care Of The Others With A "Buddy System"

Duggar Family Blog

In Touch Weekly says that the Duggars have a "buddy system" which means that the older kids take care of the younger ones.

Some people have criticized the Duggar family for not having babysitters or nannies and, instead, having the kids look after each other. But this is something that actually makes sense. Many moms do this because when you have so many children of different ages, it's only logical to have older ones look after the little ones. This is also the way that moms have been raising kids for decades and it's not a new idea.

13 Multitasking Isn't The Best Idea

She Knows

Women Living Well says that the Duggars also believe in the statement, "Use one toy/activity at a time."

Based on that, it seems like we could say that the Duggars aren't big on multitasking. We're probably smiling right now because we could all stand to stop multitasking. When you become a mom, you become a master at doing a million things at the same time, but you know that it can be exhausting because it's hard to focus on each thing.

Moms can be inspired by this and teach their kids to focus on what they're doing instead of doing too much at once.

12 Parents Should Like The People Their Kids Are Dating


It seems like if there is another thing that we can learn from the Duggar family, it's that parents should definitely like the person that their kid is dating.

Ravishly quoted Jim Bob Duggar: "When a guy is pursing your daughter, you want to check him out and see if there are any red flags."

While some might see this as very old-school thinking, it's true that parents should think that their daughter or son's partner is a good person. That seems only logical.

11 Be Kind No Matter What

The Daily Beast

Women Living Well says that one of the statements that the Duggars live by is, "Always use soft words, even when you don’t feel well."

We can all agree that being kind no matter what is the best thing to do. Every mom wants their children to be kind and to think about others. Even if moms wouldn't raise their kids according to every rule that the Duggars have decided on, kindness is an easy thing for every parent to instill in their kids.

10 Don't Give In To Kids Throwing Tantrums

Us Weekly

What do you do when your kids are throwing tantrums? You don't want to hand them whatever they want... but it can be hard when they are so upset.

Michelle Duggar doesn't give into tantrums. In Touch Weekly quoted her as saying, "There are the times when my little ones will throw a fit — lie out on the floor and try to express their emotions that way — and they quickly learn they don't get whatever it is they're throwing a fit for. They're not going to get the expected outcome."

9 Be Super Organized And Make Schedules


Michelle Duggar told Parents.com that she makes schedules and that really helps her. She said, "Plenty of parents get frazzled with only a couple of children, so people wonder how we can possibly take care of 14. Believe it or not, I don't find it all that difficult. One key is organization. A huge master schedule for all the kids' activities nearly covers a door in our kitchen. I also keep a weekday schedule for each child."

Even if you don't consider yourself all that organized, you kind of have to be when you're a mom because there is always so much going on. Taking a page out of Michelle's book and making schedules sounds great.

8 Don't Back Down, And Your Kids Will Behave

Time Magazine

TLC.com quoted Michelle Duggar as saying that she doesn't back down and that helps the kids behave: "They know I mean business because I just stand firm in what I say. Remember, you're going to make it as a parent, and they're going to catch on eventually."

Of course your kid can still be an amazing kid and misbehave from time to time. That doesn't say anything about you as a mom. But every mom wouldn't mind having some new ways to encourage good and polite behavior, and being strong and not backing down sounds smart.

7 An Older Kid Can Babysit, And The Parents Get A Date Night

Hollywood Reporter

In Touch Weekly says that instead of hiring nannies or babysitters, Michelle and Jim-Bob Duggar have another system for going on date nights: they have an older kid babysit the other kids.

This does seem logical since it's a simple, convenient way to ensure that you still get to go on a date night. Parents know how impossible it can feel to schedule that time and that while of course your children are your priority, you still want to work on your marriage or relationship.

6 Don't Be Shy In Asking For Help (Even With Laundry)

Celebrity Insider

Moms do a lot of laundry, right? We often feel like there is way too much piling up and it never, ever ends. It's almost comical. Okay, most of the time it is pretty funny.

According to Parents.com, Michelle gets help with the laundry, so she shows us not to be shy in asking for help, even with something like laundry that we might think we should do ourselves. She said, "For the laundry, I have a wonderful friend from church who comes by twice a week to help. We've got two washers, three dryers, and one giant closet where we store clothes for the entire family." (We're jealous that she has two washing machines, right?)

5 Remind Kids About Manners


Every mom teaches her children manners, and we can imagine that would be even more important when you are raising 19 children.

Manners are something that Michelle Duggar has definitely focused on. imom says, "Michelle says when her children demand something (“I’m thirsty!”), she has them repeat the correct way to say it (“May I have a drink, please?”) five times." This seems like a good way to remind kids about manners and help them remember to say "please" and "thank you."

4 Have Family Dinner (And Kids Can Cook, Too)

Duggar Family Blog

Family dinners are the best. They're such a lovely way to have good conversation, a good meal, and slow down after a long and busy day. The Duggars know that family dinners are a big deal, and they also have the kids help out. The older kids actually make dinner, which is a really interesting idea. (Moms love this idea, right?!)

Michelle Duggar told Parents.com, "We usually all eat dinner together at around 5 p.m. The three oldest plan and prepare evening meals. They like to do that because they get to choose the menus!"

3 Whisper When Upset About Something

In Touch Weekly

According to imom, the Duggars believe that if you're upset about something, it's best to whisper.

This is something else that the Duggars do that actually makes sense. While no one would blame you for getting mad and speaking louder than you intended to, when you're a mom, your kids do what you do. You don't exactly want them to yell because they hear you yelling. Staying calm and polite does seem like a much better option, and it's a good example to set for your kids.

2 Chore Charts Work Well

In Touch Weekly

According to Parenting.com, the Duggar family have chore charts.

This makes a lot of sense, doesn't it? First of all, we can imagine that with 19 kids, you would have to schedule chores on a chart because it would be really tough to keep track of. But even if you don't have 19 kids and you have one or two, you could still benefit from a chore chart. It's hard to remember everything that you have to do. Chore charts are fun for kids because they can see their progress and they can use fun markers or stickers.

1 They Save Money When They Can (And Make Their Own Laundry Detergent)


Business Insider talks about how the Duggars save money, and one big thing that they have done is make their own laundry detergent.

While it's not always possible to save money because buying food for a family can be expensive and there are a lot of costs that come up randomly when you're a parent (your kid loves a certain sport and needs new gear suddenly, for example), being a bit frugal does, well, pay off.

Even if we wouldn't raise our kids exactly the way that the Duggars do, these 25 things do actually make a lot of sense.

Sources: Romper.comThestir.cafemom.comRanker.comRavishly.com,

Womenlivingwell.orgIntouchweekly.comBusinessinsider.com, People.com, TlC.com.

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