If there was ever a time to have more emphasis on being a good role model for our children, it's now. Social media is taking over our electronic devices, mean comments online are happening 24/7, and standards to fit in have never been harder. Considering so many young kids today are trying to keep up with the Jones', a parent needs to have guidelines for their child. What are they willing to accept versus what can their children get away with?
Regardless of the decade, it's never too late to be a good person. But how do we get there? Work can be stressful and having enough hours in a day may be limited, so how do we connect with our daughters? Taking time every day from daily stressors to focus on 'mommy and me' moments is what can change an entire day around. While mommy may be stressed with adult issues, their daughter is looking up to them in times of need. And in times of growth!
It can be hard to know if we're on the right track in this thing called parenthood. In this case, try doing small things each day to be a better person, showing our daughters that we can be role models. If any woman does these 20 things, it's time to re-evaluate a few things to be the best version for our girls.
20 Not Prioritizing Education
As we'll see on this list, goal setting for kids is extremely important. Making sure your child not only has a good education but has a higher educational goal in mind is beyond important. Back in the day, going to college wasn't always possible or necessary to make a good living. But these days, having an education is everything. If you're not helping your child think beyond middle or high school, try reshaping your focus. While going to university can be pricey, there are so many financial outlets that can help your child get the education they deserve. You just need to do the research.
19 Allowing Kids To Quit Without Effort
Life is all about trial and error. We try things, we fall, and then we stop trying. With a little coaching, though, a child can learn to persevere when they lose. Instead of letting them quit something after one upset, teach them to keep pushing. Nothing in life comes easy — tell them of all the times you things didn't work out for you, but never gave up. You need to have thick skin to make it through each day sometimes, and if kids aren't taught to fight through the hard times, what is that teaching them? Be a role model and show them that all good things come with time.
18 Talking Ill Of Someone
We're all guilty of talking behind someone's back. Whether it's privately to our mom or to our partner before bed; when someone frustrates us, we vent about it. The thing is, though, it's one thing to vent about a negative situation, but it's a completely different thing to talk poorly about someone else. Speaking ill of someone in front of your daughter could lead them to do the same thing. Knowing how fragile girls are, and how poor their self-esteem can be, this can teach your child to be mean. If you have something rude to say, find a better way of going about it to make it a learning moment. Don't inspire poor graces.
17 Negative Comments On Appearances
As a woman, I know how hard it is to be a woman, which is why we need to be nice to one another. Simply scrolling through social media pages can show us how rude some people can be through a screen. We want to teach our children to lift people up, not pull them down. It can be easy to make fun of someone's appearance when we're upset with them. But that's just it — it's easy. A person's looks have nothing to do with their character or why they upset you. So picking someone apart for features they can't control shows your child more about you than it does about the person in question. Instead of saying mean things about other people, try using nice words instead.
16 Never Going Outside The Status Quo
We're taught from an early age that coloring inside the lines is a good thing. It teaches children motor skills and how to control their movements. Teachers also tell children that coloring inside the lines is more impressive, so kids try their best to take this in stride. However, what if a child doesn't want to color inside the lines. Does this make them a bad person? No! Similarly to coloring, living outside the status quo can be a good thing. Everything isn't always going to run smoothly or how you'd expect it to go. Instead of controlling your daughter or telling her "that's not the way things are," allow them to express themselves.
15 Low Self-Confidence
How many times do we look in the mirror and pick ourselves apart? As mature women, we may not talk poorly about other women's bodies, but we sure do talk negatively about our own. We're too big, we're too small, our hair is too flat... Geez! How can someone have self-esteem or confidence when we're too busy being rude to ourselves! Talking about disliking our looks or wanting to go on a special meal plan only teaches our daughters to do the same thing. If you want to be critical of yourself, you do you, but try to keep it away from your daughter. Her mind is a sponge and she's looking to you for guidance.
14 Not Setting Enough Goals
Goal setting is extremely important in a person's life. (This goes for adults, too!) When a child has a goal in mind, they'll do everything they can to achieve it because they know there's a reward at the end of it. This could be graduating from elementary school, grabbing that high school diploma, or simply learning the ABCs. Whatever it is, teach your children about goal setting. Goal setting not only teaches them to get what they want, but it reminds them of what they want in the first place. It's so easy to say you "want" something, but how are you going to get it? As a parent, help them realize these things and show them the tools to reach their goals.
Ladies, ladies, ladies, I don't think I need to explain why certain vices are harmful to us now do I? Not only can dabbling in certain behaviors harm our bodies and shorten our lifespan, but there are way more healthy habits to dive into! Women should teach their children how to respect and care for their bodies. Spending hard earned money on things that can deteriorate our insides is a waste if you ask me. The long-term health effects are also not worth it. Moms shouldn't just tell their kids that the classic vices are bad, they need to explain why it's bad. Show them what happens when you live a healthy lifestyle versus a poor one.
12 Being Disrespectful To Others
Remember what Thumper from Bambi said? "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." Who would have thought that an animated bunny would have been so thought-provoking? Nevertheless, being disrespectful to others doesn't do anything but produce more negativity. If someone holds the door open for you, teach your daughter to say thank you and to reciprocate the good manner. In essence, doing good promotes more good to happen. As a way to teach respect, show your child different ways to be respectful. No matter if a person is older or younger, respect is universal and can catch on.
11 Holding Grudges
I'll tell you what, holding a grudge against someone seems right in the moment, but nothing good comes from it. It only makes your more angry and accomplishes nothing. However, by writing someone off, people cannot grow... and cannot learn. Overcoming a grudge-filled life will make you feel more whole, more at peace. Teach these examples to your girls. Show them that learning forgiveness can make you sleep better at night.
10 Disregarding The Environment
You know what they say, there is no Planet B. I know there are a ton of people who think doing small things for the environment doesn't make a difference, but it really does. Teach your girls to be kind to living beings and to not litter. Trash should go in bins, not on the side of the road. Go outside and do activities together. Make a game out of shoveling the driveway, do cartwheels in the park, lay in a field and look at the clouds... There are so many things we can do outside to teach our kids how to appreciate the world around us. Teach your daughter that the world is so much bigger than what she thinks.
9 Not Caring About Homework
I don't think there are many people who enjoy homework... I, myself, didn't necessarily love school, but I enjoyed learning. I liked reading books and learning new things (I just didn't enjoy math, to be honest!) But if it wasn't for my parents reminding me that homework leads to a diploma, I don't know if I would have done it. Being reminded that homework has a purpose is important. While homework might be harder than you remember as a parent, making a comfortable environment for your child to do homework in is encouraging, to say the least. You can also set up some fun snacks to keep them energized while doing it.
8 Unable To Overcome Obstacles
If you've watched any motion-picture about athletics, you'll notice that these athletes fall a million times but pick themselves back up until they reach their dream. As a parent, you need to teach your child how to come back from a low moment.
A big part of being a toddler is signing them up for activities to see what they navigate towards. Tee-ball and soccer are popular athletic choices for kids. Sports teach them about endurance, health, sharing, following the rules, and how to be competitive. Just because a sport gets harder doesn't mean a parent should let them quit immediately. Show them that things can get better once you cross those obstacles. Not to mention how good it feels to overcome hard times.
7 Spilling Their Secrets
There comes a time in a child's life where secrets are a child's entire life. They learn what a secret is, what it means, and how to start one. For whatever reason, it's a big deal to find this trust within another person. So, if your daughter tells you a secret in confidence (no matter how small), be sure to keep your word. It may seem funny to spill their secret to your partner or to talk about it at dinner, but they told you this secret in confidence. Keep their secret and appreciate the fact that they trusted you enough to tell you. It's an adorable way to form a bond with them, as well.
6 Not Showing Humility
Being a parent is hard work. You're still the same person, you just have a small child looking up at you 24 hours a day. It can be hard to remember all these rules about being a good role model, but being humble and showing humility is an easy one to recall. Be humble when good things happen. In exchange for your humility, your daughter will pick up on these small things as well. Especially since you're their end-all, be-all. Our girls will do everything they can to be like us. Showing them acceptance and modesty is probably the easiest ways to be a role model.
5 Being Late
Being timely is so important. There's nothing more infuriating than arranging a meeting and the other person shows up late (or doesn't show up at all). It shows that you don't respect the other person's time and that you're not great at time management. This is a life lesson you can instill in them from early on. Practice getting up earlier than usual to arrive a few minutes early. Being early shows that you have a good head on your shoulders and care about the other person you're meeting. If it's in the case of an interview or an appointment, being early also shows that you're responsible; you're prepared.
4 Lacking Adventure
I'll be the first person to tell you that the world is an unsettling place. There seems to be no good news anymore, which can make us afraid to leave our house. However, this is a lesson in trust. We can't always control what happens around us, but we can control what we do. Despite all the crazy people in the world, you should teach your child to keep on exploring this massive world. Don't let a few crazies dull your sparkle. And since children are natural adventurers, encourage that natural wonder and inspire that urge to see and try new things.
3 The Inability To Apologize
Being able to apologize is a big moment in any person's life. It proves that you are humble enough to know when you're wrong and to admit that publicly. There might not be too many instances where you can show your child what it's like to apologize for your wrongdoings, but you can make a lesson out of small situations. If you bump into someone at the grocery store, go out of your way to apologize for not seeing them. If you get the time wrong for an appointment, causing a few bumps in the road, point out the fact that you were wrong. Following your wrongs, show your daughter how you can make it right. Own up to your mistakes, apologize for it, and move forward. Hopefully, one day when your daughter does something accidentally, she'll be able to own up to it.
2 No Urge To Be A Better Person
Are you satisfied with mediocrity? Are you "fine" with the way life is heading and have no urgency to make anything any better? Well, that might be all fine and dandy from time to time, but what does this teach our daughters? Without having any goals or urgency to become a better person, your daughter may also be complacent. Going out of your way to help others can inspire your daughter. Start from an early age and donate old clothes to those who need it. Donate some time to a charity and help out after school or on a Saturday morning. The younger you start implementing these morals in your daughter, the longer she'll keep them as she ages.
1 Not Allowing Them To Fly
It doesn't matter if you're solo, have one daughter, or multiple — making your kids feel guilty for not being home with you can bring resentment. I know you love them more than life itself and you just want them safe and sound, but eventually, you need to let your little bird fly high. Don't make them feel bad for wanting to independent and wanting to spread their wings. They're simply trying to find themselves and do everything that you've taught them. Be happy your little one feels confident enough to live their life outside of the home. I know you want them at home, but doing so can hinder their life as an adult.