We are now learning that families are actually happier when in lockdown as long as their children have more freedom. Much of the world has been in some form of lockdown for about a year, and while this has forced a lot of families to struggle, some are thriving. This information may help families who are currently having a hard time with another parenting strategy to try because it has been found to increase the happiness and wellbeing of children. This parenting style is known as “autonomy supportive parenting” and it envelops the idea that children should have the right to make choices for themselves.
This style does not mean that children make all the choices for themselves, it is more making “choices within limits.” According to Insider, a study was done that showed that the benefits of this strategy can be seen almost immediately.
The study was published in the Society for Research in Child Development, and it looked at how autonomy support is helping parents and children adapt to the ongoing pandemic. The study looked at 562 parents of children ranging in age from 6 to 9 years old in Germany. The study was done in the early spring of 2020 when the pandemic restrictions were first in place to control the spread.
The researchers found that giving children these “choices within limits” helped parents to feel like the needs of their children were being met. Children could choose their own breakfast cereal, and other small things like this, known as the “limits.” It is a balance between making demands of your children and letting them get whatever they want when they ask for it. This approach has proven beneficial to parents who are feeling burnt out and it has some amazing benefits for children as well. It can help children become more independent, confident, empathetic and resilient.
A school psychologist, Roseann Capanna-Hodge, states that by letting children have some control, it can help them cope. When they are better at coping, it can help them control their emotions and it can reduce stress which will equal happier parents.
Autonomy supportive parenting is letting children be involved in the decision-making process, but you are setting safe and age-appropriate boundaries for them. Instead of demanding that your child needs to have a bath “right now,” parents can give their child a choice between having a bath now, or they can have 30 more minutes to play with their toys. These small choices can make a large difference in a child’s outlook and behavior.