Having a baby is an expensive time for any new mother. Preparing for your little one's arrival means buying clothes and baby supplies and so many diapers that it seems the spending never ends. Many women are fortunate enough to have showers thrown by friends and family which is incredibly helpful but can often get expensive for those who feel obligated to attend, especially if there's more than one shower or event they feel they need to buy a gift for.
One woman recently posted on Reddit's infamous AITA (Am I The A**hole) thread asking if she was justified in bailing on her friend's gender reveal party after she discovered there was a $20 cover charge to attend. The anonymous poster revealed that as a full-time student who works full time, money is tight so when she found out her friend was having a baby shower and a gender reveal party, one that came with an entry fee, she decided she couldn't afford to attend both, much to her friend's disappointment.
"About a month prior I receive a text from my close friend inviting me to her baby shower," the poster explained. "I pay all my own bills, work full time while being full time in college so money and time is tight but I knew this was important so I went ahead and told her I would request off work and definitely be there. A week later I went out and splurged and bought bottles, pacifiers, baby shampoo Etc. as a gift to give her at the baby shower. Anyways, about a week before the baby shower I get a text from her saying this party would actually be a gender reveal party and they were having a separate baby shower 3 weeks later that she wanted me to come to as well," she writes.
At this point, the poster is frustrated but is trying to do her best to make it work so she can be there for her friend. "Okay... I was slightly annoyed because I knew I was going to have to request off work again and buy another gift. I told her I would try my best to be there but I couldn’t make any promises," she wrote, which is completely understandable. "Two days before the now “gender reveal” party she texts me in a group message of people and says there’s an entry fee of $20 to the party! I was seriously blown away. I understand it takes planning and money to put together a party but it was her choice to have one. I texted her privately outside the group message and told her I didn’t have $20 extra to bring to the party, since I already got her a gift and had other bills to pay. She replied saying “Sorry girl, I can’t make just an exception for you. You promised you would be there!” I didn’t reply, and didn’t show up. She texted me a few days later informing me I was disinvited to the future baby shower and how she was appalled I couldn’t even send a message to let her know I wasn’t coming after I said I would be there. Reddit, I understand maybe I should’ve clarified I wasn’t coming at the point. Although she knows my situation and that I live paycheck to paycheck. I have now lost a close friend and I seriously can’t decide.. AITA?"
The comments were overwhelmingly in favor of the poster, with everyone agreeing she is definitely NTA (Not The A**hole!). "NTA. I could afford to pay $20 to go to a party, but I still wouldn't, because that's tacky as hell. I don't think you did anything wrong and frankly, this isn't someone I would want to remain friends with," wrote one commenter. "NTA who charges an entry fee to a gender reveal? And what a horrible friend insists that their broke friend give them cash on top of a gift? Twice? I’d return the gift (and give away what I couldn’t return to a family shelter) and tell her to re-evaluate her crappy behavior towards her friend. She doesn’t deserve a single thing from you," wrote another.
Others were appalled that anyone would lose a friend over $20 like the expectant mother has done. "NTA. I would disinvite myself from that entire friendship," read one comment. "$20 entrance fee? Really? NTA. You deserve better friends than her -- I can't imagine charging a friend to come to a party which isn't specifically for fundraising. And for a party which is for fundraising, I can't imagine being upset with a friend who can't afford to contribute something. Really, she shouldn't be hosting her own baby showers either (those are thrown by friends/family of the pregnant woman)," wrote another.
Fortunately for the poster, things seemed to work out. After offering to ship the items she purchased for her former friend's baby shower to anyone who was in need, she was able to connect with a fellow Redditor and ship the items to someone who will truly appreciate them. "I had a user message me who seemed in need of the baby stuff so we arranged everything and it will be shipped tomorrow! Countless people have PM’d me offering to reimburse me for my purchases," the OP wrote in an update on her post. "The generosity is INSANE. I’m so thankful, today has been a great day, thank you guys!!!!"
Would you pay an entry fee to attend a gender reveal party? Would you charge an entry fee?