In the last approximately 10 years, gender reveals have become a truly mainstream occurrence. Excited parents to be will stage an elaborate (and sometimes dangerous) situation where they tell family, friends and the world what the sex of their unborn child is. Recently, the concept of a gender reveal party or celebration is becoming a bit antiquated. And the women who had the first viral gender reveal is regretting her decision.
Let's make one thing clear, mom blogger Jenna Karvunidis does not want to be called the "inventor of the gender reveal party." She makes that abundantly clear.
"I just gave form to having the doctor put the news in an envelope and revealing it through cake icing at a party," she tells Buzzfeed News.
"PLOT TWIST, the world's first gender-reveal party baby is a girl who wears suits!" she wrote in a Facebook post accompanying a recent family photo. In the picture, her daughter Bee (Bianca) is wearing a very dapper light blue suit and sneakers to compliment her little sisters' blue dresses.
Karvunidis made a big splash after having a gender reveal for her daughter, who is now 10, back in 2008. She told everyone she was expecting a daughter via a cake filled with pink icing. But now, her feelings about how we celebrate a child's gender. The reason for her change of mind? That same daughter who's gender she celebrated doesn't believe in gender binaries.
"Who cares what gender the baby is? I did at the time because we didn't live in 2019 and didn't know what we know now — that assigning focus on gender at birth leaves out so much of their potential and talents that have nothing to do with what's between their legs," she also wrote.
Obviously the way we as people choose to examine and express our gender (of lack of gender) has changed greatly since Karvunidis cut open that cake in 2008. Now we realize that just because we assign a child a gender doesn't mean that's what they are. Kids, even at a young age, are more aware of who they are than we can ever give them credit for.
Do a lot of kids fall into the traditional gender binary? Sure. But that doesn't mean that kids who don't are worse or bad. They're simply expressing who they are.
It's great to see that Karvunidis is rethinking her original stance on celebrating the gender of a person who doesn't quite exist yet. "It’s a bad detail to hang on for a baby, and just because it’s the first thing we know about our kids, it’s not the most important by far," she says.
But one thing she does want is for people to be kind to parents who do choose to have a gender reveal party. However, she did suggest an excellent alternative: a pregnancy reveal party.
"It can happen sooner, and everyone still gets cake." This sounds like an excellent idea.