Actress and celebrity mom says that using a surrogate to carry her baby made her feel like a failure. Union, who is best known for her role in comedies such as She’s All That and 10 Things I Hate About you has opened up about her feelings towards using a surrogate and motherhood in a new interview. She and her husband, NBA star Dwayne Wade, welcomed their daughter Kaavia James Union Wade, back in November of last year.
Speaking to Women’s Health Magazine, the 46-year-old Hollywood star says that she felt like a failure when she and Wade decided to have a surrogate carry their baby. She has often been open about her struggle with infertility, as she suffers from adenomyosis. It is a condition in which the inner lining of the uterus breaks through the muscle wall. With over 200,000 cases per year, it often causes lower abdominal pressure and pain, bloating before menstrual periods, and can even result in heavy menstrual cycles.
"There's nothing more that I wanted than to cook my own baby," Union told the publication for its March 2019 issue. "The idea of [using a surrogate] felt like surrendering to failure."
In addition, Union also said that she felt uncomfortable knowing that many people were inquiring about her baby and her supposed pregnancy. She says that she spent most of the time dodging many questions while questioning her self-worth.
"People want to see the bump, hear that you got hemorrhoids—they want to know you're like them," she continued. "I was like, 'This is going to seem like the most Hollywood s--t ever. Will I be embraced as a mom?' It's terrifying."
Back in 2017, the celebrity mother said that she had suffered from eight miscarries in the past. Union also told Oprah Winfrey in an interview that infertility made her feel “defective” and that she was less worthy than other women.
With adenomyosis, certain medications can help relieve the pain or lessen heavy periods. Oftentimes, removal of the uterus is the only cure. It’s also a chronic condition that can last for years or be lifelong. Many doctors and trusted health professionals suggest hormone or nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs for treatment.
Thankfully, Union says that she feels much better about herself and that she is finally in the right “mindset and mental space” while trying to be the best mother she can be. She is also a stepmother to Dwayne Wade’s three sons from his previous relationships.